


Her Golden Heart

by aurelianous



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Artist Clarke Griffin, Clexa, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Lexa Could Stab Me And I Would Say Thank You, Lexa Fan Club, Love Confessions, Minor Violence, Past Abuse, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, We Love Lexa, pls dont steal this fic or i will have to end u
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-09-12 16:18:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 67,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16876134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurelianous/pseuds/aurelianous
Summary: Since her father’s death in a fatal street mugging 6 years ago, Clarke has been learning martial arts so that she would never be helpless again. But she never thought that she would actually have to use it on someone until one night, walking back from her art studio, she is faced with a situation where she has to save a girl who is being mugged. Clarke had no idea in that moment that this girl would change her life forever, no idea that she would fall completely, incredibly, and irrevocably in love with her.OR:Two broken souls find solace in one another. Lexa is a famous actor but has a terrible and tragic past, will Clarke be able to fill the cracks in her soul? Will Lexa be able to help Clarke work through her grief that still haunts her dreams and her reality? Will they ever find the courage to admit their feelings?





	1. Chapter One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my story! This is the first time I have written in a while, so I do apologise if there are any grammatical errors. I’m super attached emotionally to this story, and I hope you guys will be too! I can promise you, you’re in for a ride. I’m going to release the first 5 chapters to see how it fairs. I’m unsure how long this story will actually be, but it will be more than 20 for sure. I know it's a little different, I pitched Jake's death quite differently, but I thought it would be cool to change it around from a 'car crash' or something similar. I know it's a bit out there with Clarke knowing martial arts and just happened to be at the right place at the right time, but it works. Anywho, thanks for stopping by. I wrote this chapter to ‘Witches’ by Daughter.

It’s cold, far too cold. Clarke begrudgingly brings her hands to her face as she breathes hot air into them, then proceeded to rub them together so aggressively she thought they would catch alight. Her muscles are aching from yesterday’s intensive martial arts session. Her mother has been making her take martial arts since she was 16 years old, after her father died in a fatal street mugging. It’s not something she likes to talk about. With anyone. It’s late, the stars in the charcoal sky above shine bright, however they are slowly being silenced by the clouds that are gathering around them.

“Why did I stay at the studio for so long?” Clarke huffs as she hugs herself tightly, trying to preserve the warmth that is rapidly leaving her body.

She walks quickly through the city streets, sparse of anything but herself and the sound of rain that slowly falls to the ground like pencil shavings. Clarke lets out an angry sigh as she pulls her hoodie up as far as she can to protect her face from the water that starts to come down harder. She quickly pulls her wrist up to check the time from her father’s watch: 11:38pm. She lets out another sigh as she scurries along. She had been in her studio all day, painting on her canvases with this morning’s inspiration that stuck out like a sore thumb. She would have slept there if she didn’t have her cat to feed. Poor Kibbles.

The rain soaks through her hair, and now through her jacket. The air sticks to her skin like ice, letting a shiver rip through her body like the tectonic plates had shifted inside of her. She isn’t far from her apartment until she hears something, something… like a scream? Clarke shakes her head quickly and assumes it’s the wind.

“Get off me!”

Clarke stops dead in her tracks, straining her ears to hear the sound again, blinking rapidly at the rain running down her face.

“Stop!”

She hears again, now panicking. Clarke follows the sound, she’s running. It’s hard to hear over the sound of the rain but she can hear it, she can hear someone crying for help.

“Shut up!” Clarke hears followed by a thud and then a yelp of pain.

Clarke crosses over into an alleyway where she sees a woman curled helplessly on the ground, a man clad in leather standing above her.

“Give me what I asked! I won’t ask again,” he says kicking the women in the gut one more time, followed by another cry of pain.

“Hey! Stop that!” Clarke says running over to the girl whimpering on the floor, standing between her and the man.

“Get the fuck out of my way, bitch!” He says taking a sloppy swing at Clarke, who dodges it with absolute ease. She grabs the hand that had just swung at her, and in one movement she swiftly pulls it behind him, twisting it as hard as she could, hearing a loud _snap_. The man cries out in agony as he tries to wave his other hand behind him in an attempt to get Clarke off him. She grabs the hand flailing behind him and slips in front of him, in one swift blow she kicks at the front of his left knee, hyper-extending it. Before he can cry out again, she thrusts the palm of her hand up and strikes it at his nose pushing him backwards until he crumples over as he hits the wall behind him. Knocked out. Adrenaline _pumping_ through her veins. Her chest heaves so violently she can barely absorb any oxygen in the air. She shakes her head and quickly turns around to the girl still laying on the floor, propped up only by her elbows. Staring wide eyed at Clarke, full of fear. Despite the rain, Clarke can see the beautiful tint of green that flashes in the girl’s eye, reflected by a nearby streetlight.

She spares no time rushing to the girl’s aid, grabbing her and steadily trying to lift her up, throwing her other arm around the girl’s side to steady her. Clarke quickly assesses the girl’s injuries, her hair is dark and tied back into a ponytail, strands of hair had fallen out due to the recent trauma but they stick to her face like glue with the rain. Her right cheek is grazed and bloody, with another bruise slowly forming on her left cheek. Clarke knows it’s bad, but not hospital bad.

“Come with me,” she says to the girl.

“Where are you taking me?” She responds wearily, but terrified.

“My apartment is just around the corner, let me help you,” Clarke stresses.

The girl nods slowly, and Clarke readjusts her grip around the girl before they start moving forward. The girl stumbles a bit and winces at the pain burning at her sides. They make it to Clarke’s apartment in no time, Clarke fumbles for her keys, nearly dropping them as her hands are so shaky. She slips the keys through the lock and they stumble through the door to the complex, fortunately she lives on the first floor which she rejoices at as she can tell every step is causing the girl great pain. She fumbles through her own apartment door, and then pushes them both through it.

Kibbles is waiting at the door, meowing his heart out like he has had the most stressful day of his life.

“Kibbles, not now,” she responds to him as she gently pushes him away with her foot and closes the door behind them. She helps the girl to her bathroom and sets her against the sink.

“I need to take a look at you, I need to make sure you have no broken ribs,” Clarke says to the girl.

“Are you a doctor?” She replies.

The softest smile breaks from Clarke’s lips, “no, but my mom is, I know a lot about injuries through her.”

The girl looks terrified, Clarke can see it through her eyes.

“I’m Clarke, what’s your name?” Clarke says grabbing a cloth from her cabinet and places it beside the sink.

“Alexandria.”

Clarke perks up at the words, looking to body of the voice. Clarke can’t help but look. Her green eyes equally locking onto the blue of Clarke’s. Even banged up like this, she is beautiful. Clarke doesn’t allow herself the time to study the girl in front of her, she has more pressing matters to attend to. A puddle begins to make its way across the bathroom floor as their clothes drip from the rainstorm.

“But please, call me Lexa.”

Clarke nods at the words.

“May I take this off, Lexa?” Clarke gestures to Lexa’s shirt, gulping embarrassingly loud.

She nods and parts her arms to allow Clarke access.

She grabs the shirt and gently pulls it up, Lexa raises her arms, wincing as she does, until they get her shirt off.

Clarke flushes a light pink as her eyes take in the new flesh in front of her and the cream-coloured bra, but she shakes it away as she goes to inspect the wounds to the girl’s front.

She presses her hands gently against her ribs, and Lexa shudders against it. Clarke moves her hands across her ribs, gently pressing in, watching Lexa’s reactions. Then pulls her hand away.

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” Clarke says to the girl, and she does.

“Did that hurt?” She follows up and Lexa only shakes her head.

“Good news, you don’t have any broken ribs, but you are going to have some nasty bruises.”

Clarke frowns as she looks over the girl, her heart sinks at the wounds that’s been afflicted upon her.

“Are you in pain?” She asks, but quickly says “of course you are…” shaking her head.

“Thank you for saving me, Clarke,” Lexa says, affection in her eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t… if you didn’t…” her eyes swell up and Clarke’s heart tears into two.

“Shhh… it’s okay,” Clarke says as she instinctively rushes to the girl’s side.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes. Wait here. I’ll get you some of mine,” Clarke says as she quickly rushes off.

She hurries down the hallway and into her room, opening her drawers and pulling out whatever she could find. She quickly changes herself, peeling off the wet clothes that stick to her skin. She puts on some pyjama shorts and a loose old white t-shirt, sighing at the relief her body feels as the warmth sets in. She grabs another old shirt and long pants from her drawer and heads back to the bathroom, back to the girl who patiently awaits her return. She leans heavily against the sink, her legs beginning to shake from shock and exhaustion.

“Here, change into these,” she says giving them to the girl, “I didn’t know if it could be weird to give you my own underwear, but you shouldn’t keep yours on, you can go without if you’re comfortable.”

Lexa’s eyes widen, blushing slightly before relaxing and nodding.

“Thank you, Clarke.”

“Do you need help changing?”

“I should be okay, thank you.”

“Okay, I will be outside if you need me.”

Clarke walks out and is _literally_ outside if she needs anything. She rests intently on the door to the bathroom, eager to just help the poor girl. Now that everything is silent, flashbacks of what just happened flood through her mind. The girl’s screams. The heavy rain. The man’s aggressive voice. Breaking his arm, his leg, possibly his nose. Clarke wasn’t even scared, but now that the adrenaline is over, fear strickens her. Her chest heaves and tightens. She has never hurt anyone before, she felt like she wasn’t even in control of her actions, her body just took over. She knows she most likely _did_ save Lexa’s life. After her dad’s death, she blamed herself. For a long time. Too long of a time. She was there when he died. She could have stopped it. But she was helpless. Despite taking martial arts classes now, she never _actually_ thought she would use it in a real-life situation. She only takes the classes to release anger or stress nowadays. However, her heart warms at the fact that she _wasn’t_ helpless tonight, and she _did_ save someone’s life.

Her thoughts are interrupted as the door opens and Clarke didn’t even realise she was pressed so heavily against the door that she visibly falls forward, stopping herself before she knocks Lexa over, and the girl giggles.

It’s the purest giggle Clarke has ever been graced with, she doesn’t allow herself to dwell on it though as the whimper that follows Lexa’s giggle captures her attention more.

“Come, sit down,” she wraps herself around Lexa’s arms without even thinking, but Lexa doesn’t object, she simply follows.

Clarke lays her on her couch, as sitting would hurt her ribs too much. As she does, Lexa has to move her wet hair from her eyes, wincing as she settles down.

“Here, let me get you some painkillers,” Clarke says as she sets off again.

She paces to the kitchen and ruffles through the medicine bag that her mother insisted she had, full of various tablets and painkillers. She pops two of the appropriate pills into her hand and pours a glass of water. She brings them back over to Lexa who opens her hand to receive the pills. Clarke cups the back of her head and helps lift her up as she pops the pills into her mouth and washes it down with the glass she takes from Clarke’s other hand. She settles back down, and Clarke notices the blood still stained on the girl’s face.

She gets up again and walks back to the bathroom, where she grabs the cloth she set down earlier, wetting it. She walks back and sits beside Lexa whose eyes are now closed. Clarke can’t help but take the site in. She looks so graceful, even in her state. Her hair is starting to dry, curling wickedly, her lashes long and beautiful, her lips plump and pink.

Clarke reaches over the grab her arm and shakes it gently, “hey,” she whispers.

Green eyes flutter open and look over to Clarke.

“I’m going to wipe your face clean, is that okay?”

Lexa nods. Clarke smiles and slowly reaches over her face with the rag, dabbing lightly over her right cheek. Lexa winces at the contact but she allows Clarke to continue. She stares up at Clarke’s face before closing them again slowly. Clarke’s heart swells at the sight. She continues dabbing her cheek, washing the blood away. Lexa’s wincing comes to a stop as she relaxes more and more. Once the blood is washed away, Clarke gapes at the bruises already swelling on her cheeks. She gets up quietly and walks back to the kitchen to rinse out the blood and re-soak the cloth. She also grabs two ice packs from her freezer and takes them to her bedroom where she intends on bringing Lexa. She walks back over to the sleeping girl and proceeds to shake her gently awake again. She hums as she stirs.

“You shouldn’t sleep here, it’s uncomfortable, you can sleep in my bed,” she says extending a hand.

Lexa sleepily nods and braces herself over Clarke, wincing as she stands up. Her legs wobble slightly but Clarke is quick to hold onto Lexa, keeping her upright. She guides her down the hallway and into her bedroom where she lays Lexa on the bed.

“I need to ice your bruises, it’ll be cold, but you have to be strong okay?” Clarke says grabbing the ice packs from her table. Lexa resituates herself in the bed and nods. Clarke sits beside her and slowly pulls the girl’s shirt up to her ribs and places an ice pack on the bruises. Lexa’s eyes widen at the sudden impact of the ice touching her skin and hisses slightly before adjusting to it. Clarke pulls her shirt back down over the pack and places the other one to the girl’s left cheek where the swelling is more abundant. Lexa’s hand raises to meet the ice pack to hold it in place. Clarke grabs the cloth and gently places it over Lexa’s forehead, instinctively reaching out to swipe the girl’s hair off her face. Lexa doesn’t speak but Clarke can see the appreciation through her eyes. She knows it would hurt her to speak.

“I’m going to be right outside. Call me at _any_ time if you need me. Don’t hesitate. Okay?” Clarke says standing up.

Lexa nods and Clarke leaves the room. She walks back into her living room and sits on the couch.

“What the fuck,” she whispers running her hands through her half-damp half-dry hair, not even flinching as her fingers snag on the tangles already forming.

“What the fuck,” she repeats.

Kibbles jumps up into her lap and meows impatiently.

“Oh my god, Kibbles, I’m so sorry,” she says as she checks her watch: 2:29am.

She shakes her head clear and stands up with Kibbles swirling around her feet until she nearly trips over. She pours some dry food into his bowl and Kibbles attacks the bowl like he hasn’t eaten in decades. Clarke laughs at his dramatics before pouring a glass of water. She herself gulps down the water like she just came out of surviving an endeavour in the Sahara Desert. She braces herself on the kitchen counter and leans against her shoulders.

“What the hell happened tonight,” she breathes.

Kibbles doesn’t even register the sound as he continues to lavish in his food.

“Woke up. Left for studio. Painted. Painted some more. Left late. Saved a girl in an alleyway. Cleaned girl up. Girl in bed. Girl is _very_ pretty.”

She sighs so deeply she nearly passes out.

“Okay,” she says psyching herself up.

She moves to her table and grabs a chair, carrying it through the hallway and placing it outside her bedroom, slumping into it so loudly she is sure Lexa would have heard it. She peers her head around the door to look in, she makes out her shadow, the steady rise and fall of her chest. Clarke smiles and turns back around, settling more into the chair. Tiredness hits her like a tsunami, after tonight she is exhausted. She lets her eyes flutter close and falls asleep.

 

//

 

Clarke hears a sound she was convinced was a part of her dream, so she doesn’t wake to it. She hears it again, more audible this time. Her eyes are fuzzy and her head swims at the sound that sounds _so_ far away, she can barely make out what it is.

“Clarke?”

Clarke stirs more, confused at the sound. She hears a throat clear, “Clarke??”

Her eyes snap open at the realisation. Images flood her brain of Lexa, so forcefully it nearly knocks her out of her seat. She aggressively wipes at her eyes to wake herself up and gets up, walking into her room.

“Yes? Are you okay?” She says with such softness. She sits next to the girl, turning on her sidelight.

“It hurts,” Lexa says with tears staining her cheeks.

Clarke falls apart at the site. She checks her watch: 5:40am.

“I know. Stay here,” she says assessing her cheeks. The swelling has stopped. She takes the ice pack which lays next to Lexa, which she assumes slid off her cheeks in the night. She lifts her shirt to take the ice pack that is still in the same position as she left it. The bruises have already darkened. Clarke winces herself as she can only imagine the pain. She takes the cloth also before standing up and walking back to the kitchen, dropping everything on the counter. She pours more water into the glass she left from before and pops more pills into her hand. After wetting the cloth again, she juggles everything back to the bedroom. She sets everything aside and goes to hold Lexa up with her hand again, with no resistance. She scoops the pills into her mouth, followed by raising the glass to her lips. She swallows the pills and then gently settles back onto the pillow. Clarke places the cloth back onto her forehead.

Clarke looks at her for a while, taking her in, swiping more hair off her face. Lexa’s eyes open slowly, nearly startling Clarke.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Clarke.”

“Of course,” Clarke smiles.

“You barely know me. Why are you helping me?”

There is a long silence before Clarke replies, “I vowed to myself a long time ago that I would never be helpless again.”

Lexa’s eyes look curiously at Clarke, but Clarke only shakes her head, “sleep, you need rest.”

She reaches out to readjust the cloth, not really moving it at all, she just wanted an excuse to touch and comfort Lexa. Once Clarke notices the familiar breathing pattern, she stands up quietly and reclaims her position in the chair, falling asleep before she even had time to register it.


	2. Chapter Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this to ‘Obstacles’ by Syd Matters.

Clarke begins to stir, taking her time waking up. Her head pounds and she clutches it with her hands, leaning into them. She rubs her eyes gently and leans back into her chair, soaking in the silence of air.

_Lexa._

Clarke gets up at the thought and slowly peers her head into her room, Lexa is still soundly asleep. Clarke checks her watch: 9:10am.

“Cool” she says to herself.

A loud meow booms from her hallway. Clarke spins around so fast as she sees a sleepy but grumpy Kibbles stomping around the corner. He’s meowing so loudly he _has_ to be waking Lexa up.

“Shhh shhh,” Clarke panics and flails her hands in front of her as if it would actually stop Kibbles from meowing. But he only meows louder as he circles her legs.

“Kibbles, shut up!” She whispers loudly, and she hears a soft laugh from her bedroom. She slowly turns around and peers back into the room to see Lexa sitting up rubbing her eyes.

“Kibbles? Really?” She giggles again.

“Yeah yeah, I know, _super_ original,” Clarke softly returns the laugh and steps into the room, plopping herself at the end of the bed.

“How is your pain? 1-10,” Clarke questions.

Lexa squints her eyes and hums and she rates her pain internally.

“5.”

“Okay, that’s not too bad. You’re sitting up so that’s a good sign. I can give you more painkillers, but you will need to eat first,” Clarke instructs.

Lexa nods. Her face no longer swells but she has two deep and dark bruises taking residence on her cheeks. Clarke sighs quietly.

“Do you have anywhere you need to be? Anywhere I can take you?” Clarke asks.

“Other than my own apartment, no. Would you like me to go?” Lexa’s voice cracks.

“No, no! You’re welcome to stay. I just wanted to make sure that you have no where you need or want to be. I’m not going to hold you captive or anything.”

Lexa giggles at that.

“I would definitely like to remain a free woman.”

Clarke chuckles followed by a short silence.

“Thank you again for last night, Clarke.”

“You really don’t need to thank me,” Clarke counters.

“You say that, but I feel like I do. You don’t even know me. You rushed to my aid, and you brought me to your own apartment just to make sure I was okay. That cannot go unthanked.”

Clarke deliberates those words in silence, “you’re welcome, Lexa. Honestly… I’m just sorry I couldn’t get there sooner,” she locks with the girl’s green eyes. They’re beautiful. She struggles to contain herself at the site of the girl staring into her soul. Even with two nasty bruises on her face, Clarke thinks she is the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. Wild, wavy hair flailing around her face, her sharp jawline, her lips… those damn lips. Clarke shakes her head as she knows she is staring.

“Can I get you anything?” She says.

Lexa only smiles and shakes her head.

“Be honest, how bad do I look,” she follows up.

Clarke tilts her head in question.

“The bruises,” Lexa adds.

“Oh!” Clarke exclaims, “ummm… honestly not bad!”

“Show me.”

“What?”

“Let me see my face.”

“Uh, okay,” Clarke says bringing up the front camera on her phone and hands it to Lexa.

“Oh my god!” Lexa gasps as she goes to touch her face but deems it a painful idea.

She lowers the phone and looks up at Clarke, “you liar! I look awful, these bruises are terrible.”

“I have seen worse!” Clarke says trying to reassure Lexa, she’s unsure if it worked though.

“Ugh this couldn’t have come at a worse time,” Lexa frowns.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m… I’m an actress. I start shooting a new movie next week,” Lexa explains.

“An actress!” Clarke eyes widen, “wow!”

Lexa blushes lightly at the praise and says “I suppose it could be worse…”

“Considering its only Tuesday, I can assure you that the bruises _might_ be gone by next week if you apply cream to it every day,” Clarke explains and Lexa only nods in silence.

Clarke tries to give a sympathetic smile.

“Would you like something to eat? Toast maybe?” Clarke asks.

“That would be great actually.”

“Great! You should also stretch a bit, you’re welcome to come sit on the couch while I make the toast. I also need to attend to our wet clothes piles,” Clarke laughs.

Lexa looks down in realisation, grabbing the shirt she’s wearing and locks with the blue eyes again, with more appreciation in her eyes. She nods and slowly slinks out of bed but as she stands her legs begin to give out. Clarke is quick to hold her up, arms wrapped around Lexa’s waist. They stand like that for a few moments before Clarke removes her arms and repositions them over her shoulders, “you good?” she asks with a nod from Lexa in response. She helps Lexa to her couch and settles her down before going to attend to their wet clothes that she neglected overnight. Once she finished doing their laundry, Clarke assumes her role in the kitchen and begins toasting two slices of bread.

Kibbles jumps up on Lexa, startling her slightly, but she settles once he starts rubbing himself on her hands.

“Hey! Kibbles, down! I’m so sorry,” Clarke begins and starts to make her way over to Lexa before she stops her, “no no, it’s okay, I like cats,” she smiles as she scratches his head. Clarke smiles and watches for a while before she returns to making breakfast.

“What were you doing out so late last night anyway?” Lexa says breaking the silence, looking over to Clarke who stands idly waiting for the sound of the toaster to go off.

“I lost track of time… I spent the entire day in my studio and forgot how late it was.”

“Your studio?”

“Yeah,” Clarke chuckles and shuffles awkwardly on her feet, “I’m a painter in my free time.”

“Oh, cool! I love looking at art,” Lexa says excitedly.

“Really?”

“Yeah, my grandmother was an artist before she…” Lexa stops, audibly choking on her words, “before she passed,” a sigh lingers on the girl’s lips, “she was amazing. I have a few of her pieces in my apartment.”

Clarke looks at her softly, with understanding her eyes. She wants to tell her about her dad, how he was an artist too, how they would spend days painting together, sharing their visions. She wants to tell her she understands her pain. She wants to tell her she isn’t alone. But all she musters is, “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

The silence is broken by a loud pop of the toaster that makes Clarke visibly jump, she shakes away all her thoughts of her dad and attends to the toast by putting them on a plate.

“What would you like on your toast?” Clarke asks.

“Honestly, may I just have butter on it? I’m not feeling too well to have anything but,” she replies with a groan.

Clarke nods and applies butter to both pieces of toast, she slices each piece into two, making a total of four triangle pieces on the plate. She pours two glasses of water and empties two more pills into her hand before making her way over to the couch, placing it on the coffee table. She goes back to the kitchen and collects the toast too.

“You can have those painkillers once you have at least two pieces of toast,” Clarke says gesturing to the coffee table before sitting down next to her.

Lexa nods thankfully and glances down at the plate of toast.

“That’s cute how you cut them like that, I haven’t seen triangle pieces since I was… well… very young,” Lexa smiles.

“Ah yeah,” Clarke laughs at the memory, “my mom always used to cut my toast like this when I was a kid, she carried it on into my teenhood and I guess I’ve carried it on into my adulthood. It’s comforting like that.”

Lexa nods and delicately picks up a piece before taking a small bite off the corner, wincing slightly at the movement of the bruises against her cheeks. Clarke copies the girl by biting into her own piece, they eat in silence, sharing the space until they both had successfully eaten two pieces each. Lexa musters all her energy and leans over to grab the glass of water and the pills, swallowing them effortlessly before setting the glass back down and leaning back against the couch, releasing a loud sigh.

Clarke finally asks the question, “I never asked, what were _you_ doing out so late? What even happened last night?” Clarke says sipping at her own water.

Lexa lets out another loud and weary sigh, “I was out late with my manager, we were going over the script for the new movie, testing it out. I decided to walk home to recite some of the lines on my journey, but… as I was doing so, I saw a man leaning against one of the street walls, smoking a cigarette. I didn’t take much notice of it, I should have crossed the street or something. I was foolish not to. He eyed me as I walked by, once I passed him he grabbed me and pulled me into the alleyway,” her eyes begin to gloss over at the memory, breathing unevenly, but she forces herself to continue, “he went on about giving him my money, my bag, my purse… my grandmother’s necklace… I refused. So, he started beating me,” her breathing becomes harsher and a tear slips out from her left cheek. Clarke wants to swipe it away with her thumb, but she doesn’t want to cross any personal boundaries with the girl, so she just shuffles awkwardly in place trying to keep her hands occupied.

“I really thought I was going to die there, Clarke,” she chokes back a sob.

“But you didn’t, you’re okay,” Clarke lets out a small sympathetic smile.

“But I could be, what if you never came along,” she replies trying to swipe her flowing tears away with her thumb as gently as she can.

“Don’t think like that. Don’t dwell on the what ifs. Dwell on the now. Dwell on the fact that you are safe. You are okay, Lexa,” Clarke says restraining herself from reaching out to touch the brunette across from her.

Green eyes lock with blue eyes, and she stares at Clarke blinking away her tears. Before Clarke even realises what’s going on, Lexa lunges forward wrapping her arms around Clarke’s neck, sinking in. Clarke can feel the physical wince from Lexa’s face and the shudder from her body as the impact is rough on her bruising, but she doesn’t ease up on the embrace. She can feel the wet streaks of the girl’s tears on her neck. Clarke wraps her own arms around the woman’s back, holding her just as tight.

“Thank you, Clarke,” Lexa says, breathing a hot puff of air onto Clarke’s neck that sends goosebumps all over her body.

Clarke wants to argue and say that she doesn’t need to be thanked, but this moment is too intimate to quarrel over such unnecessary conversation. She simply says, “you’re welcome, Lexa.”

They stay like that only moments after, but to Clarke it feels like minutes, hours. She feels so comfortable in the embrace. But, she obligingly lets her go once the brunette starts to pull away.

“Let me get you some tissues,” Clarke says getting up and walking over to her bedroom. She stops in front of her bedside table and whips out her phone, opening her messages and begins typing profusely to a man called ‘Jasper.’

_Dude, you will NEVER guess what happened to me last night._

A reply is formed in seconds.

_Jasper: Hello to you too, what happened?_

_No not now, I don’t have time to tell you, but I HAVE to see you, it can only be explained in person. Wanna meet at Taps tomorrow for lunch???_

_(You don’t have a choice by the way)_

_Jasper: Gee thanks Clarke, I love how you run my life for me!!! I’ll see you then._ And he pops a winking face after the message.

She smiles down at her phone and takes a deep breathe. Jasper has been Clarke’s best friend for what feels like ages… 10 years now maybe? Yeah, that sounds about right. They met when they were 13 years old. Jasper had the _biggest_ crush on her in middle school, only to have his hopes crushed when she told him she wasn’t into guys that way. Well, she was into guys that way but she didn't want to hurt him. So, he settled being her best friend, and they’ve been close like that ever since.

Clarke rips out some tissues from the box and makes her way back to Lexa, nearly falling flat on her face as Kibbles runs around her feet. She sits down and hands Lexa the tissues and she dabs her eyes and blows her nose. Clarke pulls her wrist up to check the time: 11:43am.

“That’s a beautiful watch,” Lexa says as her eyes glaze over the watch.

“Thanks, my dad gave it to me,” she stares down at it before undoing the strap and slides it off her wrist, giving it to Lexa who takes it gently and inspects the watch, eyes glowing. After a few minutes, she hands it back and Clarke straps it back on. Lexa reaches for her neck and pulls off her necklace and extends it to Clarke, “this is my grandma’s necklace, I can tell the watch is special to you, this necklace is special to me.”

Clarke looks at her and then to her extended hand with affection in her eyes, she graciously takes the necklace and looks over it. It has a black rope-like chain with a beautiful green aventurine gemstone at its base. She notices the colour matches that of Lexa’s eyes.

“She was given the stone on her 21st birthday by her mother, she said it matched the colour of her eyes,” Lexa says looking up at Clarke.

Clarke’s thumb swipes over the stone delicately, “I bet they were as beautiful as yours.”

Clarke’s eyes widen at what just left her lips. She wishes she could suck them back in like a vacuum. She didn’t even have time to process what her mouth let out without her consent. Clarke’s skin prickles as she looks up to meet Lexa’s gaze, eyes just as wide.

Her eyes soften after a few moments, and nods with a smile. Clarke hands the necklace back to Lexa who then takes it and pulls it back over her head, letting it rest on the shirt she borrowed from her girl across from her.

Clarke twiddles her thumbs in silence, not knowing what to do or say.

“How is your pain?” She asks breaking the silence.

“4,” she replies. She grabs her empty glass on the table and goes to stand but as she does she stiffens, “okay, now an 8,” she groans as Clarke quickly goes to help her sit back down.

“Yeah, you may not hurt while you’re idle, but it’ll hurt once you start moving, here let me,” Clarke says gently taking the class from Lexa’s hand, already knowing what she wants. She goes to the kitchen and pulls a water jug from her fridge, pouring the water into the glass before returning to Lexa, who takes the glass graciously then takes a huge sip from it.

“I’d like to give you more painkillers, but we have to wait a few more hours before I can,” Clarke says as she looks over the girl’s bruises. She has an idea. She gets up again and, in a few strides, she is back in her kitchen fumbling through her cupboards until she lets out a triumphant sigh. She walks back over to the couch and sits beside Lexa, with a tube of cream in her hand.

“This will help your bruising; can I apply it?”

Lexa nods, eyes wide.

Clarke nods and opens the tube, squeezing some onto her fingers, spreading it around slightly with her thumb and reaches over to Lexa’s face, but her hands stop and hover just above the girl’s cheeks. She is completely captivated by the eyes that are locking onto hers, she has never seen eyes like these, green, full of life, emotion. She feels like she can see through her soul just by looking into her eyes. She feels like she knows this girl, has known this girl for years, just by looking into her eyes. She has special eyes. Full of love, fear, pain…

“Everything okay, Clarke?” Lexa says quietly, interrupting Clarke’s train of thought.

She shakes her head free breaking the link of their eyes, “yes,” then she gently presses her fingers up against her cheek, rubbing light circles on her bruises. She can tell it hurts Lexa, but she remains completely still, eyes watching Clarke as she does this. Clarke doesn’t want to look back into those eyes, so she can’t tell what emotion Lexa might be feeling. She can’t tell if this girl is looking at her in awe, looking at her with discomfort, or just looking at her because there is nothing else to look at.

Clarke continues to rub circles on her left cheek until it was covered white, then moves to the other side, she pulls up her other hand to brace the back of Lexa’s head helping her stay still as she begins rubbing more circles on her right cheek.

“Okay,” Clarke removes her hand and moves back a tad inspecting her work, she gives a small nod in satisfaction, then she lets out of soft laugh.

“What is it?” Lexa tilts her head.

“You look like a snowman,” she giggles again.

Lexa eyes her suspiciously before humming, “as long as it helps, I don’t care what I look like,” she laughs as well, only imagining how ridiculous she _must_ look.

Clarke holds her breath and she relishes in the sweet sound that leaves Lexa’s lips. It's so pure and so wholesome.

“Should we put some of the cream on my ribs, too?” Lexa adds.

“Yeah, that would be a good idea,” Clarke says as she squeezes more of the cream onto her hands as Lexa lifts her shirt up.

Clarke tries to control herself from staring at her flesh, from taking in the tones of her stomach, the tan colour of her skin, and the slight bump that peeks out from under her shirt which Clarke knows is her breast. Clarke takes a breath and assesses the bruises with her eyes, they’ve darkened but they are light on her skin which Clarke is relieved at. She pulls in closer to the girl and gently presses her fingers against the girl’s skin. Lexa lets out a quiet gasp and she shudders at the touch of the cream against her bruises, but she eases into it as Clarke continues to rub the cream over her warm sides. Once Clarke is done she pulls away again, wiping her hands on one of Lexa’s unused tissues.

Clarke bites at her lip, “did you… did you want to watch a movie or something? To pass the time and let the cream sink in?”

“That would be nice, what do you have in mind?” Lexa nods.

Clarke hums as she wracks her brain as to what they can watch.

“This might sound childish, but one of my friends actually brought the Lion King over the other day that we never got to watch,” Clarke says.

“I love the Lion King!” Lexa exclaims, drawing a huge smile from Clarke’s lips.

She nods her head and gets up, once she found the disk she puts it into the DVD player after turning it on. She grabs a blanket from under her coffee table before sitting back down on the couch. She flings the blanket open and lets it fall over both of their knees and settles back into the cushions, clicking buttons on her remote. Once the movie starts playing she feels Lexa relax into the couch too.

Clarke aches for their skin to touch but she doesn’t want to be weird, so she sits stiff as the movie plays. Every time she glances over to Lexa, she can see her mouthing the lyrics to all the songs, and Clarke’s heart swells at the site each time. When the scene of Mufasa’s death comes up, both girls have tears in their eyes and they burst into laughter when they notice each other mutually crying. Once the movie finishes, Clarke turns off the tv with a button click.

“Clarke, can I go lay down, I’m not feeling too good,” Lexa looks up at Clarke, completely pale.

“Yeah, yeah of course, come with me,” Clarke says quickly getting up helping Lexa to her feet and guiding back to her bed.

Lexa lays down and instantly settles, Clarke grabs the blanket and pulls it up over Lexa’s shoulders. Lexa passes out almost instantaneously, concern sparks up in Clarke’s chest. She rests the back of her hand up against the girl’s forehead then removes it, Clarke puzzles herself over the woman’s condition in front of her. So much so, she walks out of her bedroom and into her living room, whipping out her phone as she does and begins dialling a number.

“Mom?” Clarke says almost whispering.

“Clarke? Honey?”

“Yeah hey, it’s me.”

“I’m in the middle of a shift. Is something wrong?”

“Oh god sorry, I didn’t know.”

“No, it’s okay, I have time,” her mom says reassuringly.

“Okay… this is going to sound _super_ weird but please don’t question anything or whatever,” Clarke begins.

Silence follows, and Clarke assumes her mother awaits whatever weird thing she about to spring on her.

“Okay, so last night there was this girl, she was in trouble, she’d taken a pretty harsh beating and she was alone. So, I took her in and cleaned her up and she stayed the night, and she was fine this morning. But she was looking _really_ pale before and she said she needed to go lay down because she wasn’t feeling good, she doesn’t look well at all mom. What do you think is wrong? What should I do?”

Silence follows again, and Clarke can only imagine the gape from her mother’s mouth trying to comprehend what the hell she just got told.

“Firstly, I did _not_ expect that, secondly, I’m proud of you, and thirdly, what are her injuries?” Her mother replies.

“She has a big bruise on one of her cheeks, and a graze on her other. She also has two pretty big bruises on her sides… that’s about the extent of it.”

She hears her mother hum and then says, “did you feel for broken ribs?”

“Of course I did, nothing is broken or fractured.”

Her mother hums again, “truthfully, I don’t see any danger other than the fact she is most likely exhausted, and her body is only now adjusting to what has happened to her. Give her time to rest, don’t be alarmed if she sleeps for a long time. If she is still the same in the morning, bring her here.”

Clarke sighs in relief, “okay, thanks mom. Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s fine honey. You can tell me more about this later okay? I got to go.”

“Alright, I love you.”

“I love you too, Clarke.”

Then she hears the line go dead and silence follows shortly after. Clarke lowers her hand to her side and takes another deep breath.

“Okay,” she says.

“Okay, good.”

“Everything is good.”

She fills up her glass again and takes it back into her bedroom to place on her bedside table next to the sleeping girl. Clarke goes back into her kitchen and pours more dry food into Kibble’s bowl before slumping back onto her couch. Her eyes flutter closed, and she feels herself sinking into sleep that she willingly lets take over.


	3. Chapter Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is particularly beautiful and special to me. I hope you all feel the same. I would like to add that I'm aware we know nothing about Lexa's family tree, and you guys might be mad I made her have a grandmother, but it's for the storyline. Additionally, I just gave her a name as I am needing to be using it later on. Foreshadow *jazz hands*. Hope you all don't mind. I wrote this chapter to ‘Kettering’ by The Antlers.

Clarke jerks awake and glances to her windows where the morning sun shines beautifully through. Her neck is sore from falling asleep sitting on the couch, and she rubs at it in attempt to soothe the strain. She looks at her watch.

“What? 10am? How long was I asleep for!” Clarke’s eyes widen at the time and gets herself up to make her way to the bedroom. Clarke stops in her tracks as she notices the bed is empty, and so is the glass of water. She walks over to her sheets and presses against them, savouring the warmth that emanates onto her hand. She eyes the bed suspiciously and turns to look around the room.

“Lexa?” She calls out then leaves the room.

“Lexa??” She calls out again walking down the hallway back into her living room.

Clarke shakes her hands through her hair in question and nearly jumps out of her own skin as she hears a door open behind her. She turns around in a flash, feeling the rough pound of her heart against her chest.

“Clarke?” Lexa says walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway rubbing at her eyes, “did I startle you?”

Clarke just stands in place with a gaping mouth and nods.

“I apologise,” Lexa says giggling.

“Sorry, I thought you left, the bed was empty,” Clarke begins as she forces herself to move to shake her statue like form.

“Oh, no, I just needed the bathroom. I would never leave without saying goodbye, that would be immensely rude,” Lexa replies as she goes into the kitchen to get herself water.

Clarke laughs at the formality of her words and can’t help but appreciate the fact that Lexa seems to have gotten so comfortable in her apartment already.

“Actually…” Lexa puts her glass down before taking a sip, “do you have coffee?”

Clarke almost chuckles at the desperation she can see in the brunette’s eyes. “Of course, let me make us some.”

Clarke walks over into the kitchen and begins to work at her espresso machine that was tucked away out of site.

“You seem to be feeling better?” Clarke says looking Lexa up and down.

“Yes… Thankfully. I actually feel great today,” she replies.

Clarke nods and says, “you had me really worried yesterday,” she has a serious tone, “I had to call my mom. You looked so pale and sick, I wasn’t sure if I needed to take you to the hospital or something, you scared me.”

Lexa looks up at Clarke with eyes wide and says nothing, moments pass by with this silence.

“Hey, are you okay?” Clarke says halting what she is doing.

Lexa shakes her head as if she was trying to escape something, and Clarke knows. She knows _that_ head shake. She does it all the time whenever her dad comes to memory.

“Yes. Sorry,” Lexa says biting at her lip.

“What were you thinking about?” Clarke says quietly, and Lexa looks up at her with affection in her eyes, affection at the fact Clarke _knew_ that something deep was on her mind.

“Margaret. My grandmother,” she says.

A deep silence follows after and Clarke isn’t sure that Lexa will say anything else until, “I haven’t really had anyone else worry or care about me, since her passing. So, it struck me when you said that you were worried about me.”

Clarke swallows thickly as the words enter her ears and she looks down at her feet. She doesn’t want to press any questions even though she has _so_ many. What does she mean by that? Does she not have parents? Was her grandmother the only person close to her? Has she been alone this whole time? How long ago did she even pass? But, Clarke knows never to press, so she only says, “of course.”

She can hear Lexa swallow and she knows she appreciates that Clarke didn’t say anything else. Lexa starts to make her way to the couch when Clarke blurts out, “Lexa?”

“Yes, Clarke?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“About what?”

“Your grandmother.”

Lexa gives an appreciative smile and continues her journey to the couch and sits down. Clarke continues to make their coffee. Once she has poured both cups she makes her way back over to the couch and hands Lexa a cup. Her eyes glow as she looks at the liquid in front of her pulling it to her nose to breathe it in. She brings it to her lips and takes a sip, sighing into the mug as she does. She relishes the warm liquid sliding down her throat and lets out a quiet moan at the satisfaction and Clarke nearly becomes undone at the sound, quickly sipping at her own coffee to hide her blush.

They share the silence as they drink their coffee, which Clarke is strangely comforted by. She has always been the one to break a silent moment, always tried to small talk her way out of an awkward silence. But not with Lexa. The silence with her is never awkward. It is warm, comforting. She feels safe. And it’s weird.

Lexa sets her cup on the coffee table, “would you be able to take me at my apartment sometime soon? I don’t live far. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome and I should really get onto learning my lines. There are _a lot_ ,” she laughs awkwardly.

“Yeah, of course, no problem at all. When would you like to leave?” Clarke says setting her own empty cup down.

Lexa looks out to the window and stares out into the early afternoon sun, “could we go now?”

Clarke hums a yes and gets up, “I’ll be back in a moment.”

Clarke scurries back into her bedroom and opens her chest of drawers to find fresh clothes. She pulls on some tight fitting blue jeans, a white flowy top to put over her thermal vest and then she grabs her black fleece jacket to finish it off. She knows it’ll be another cold day. She walks back through the hallway to her kitchen table where she grabs her car keys.

“Ready?” She says glancing over to Lexa who is still sitting on her couch. She gets up and looks back over to Clarke and gapes. She looks Clarke up and down and then down to her own clothes and says, “well I feel severely underdressed,” and they both burst into laughter.

“I would have gotten you some new clothes, but I figured since I’m taking you home it wouldn’t be necessary,” Clarke says shuffling awkwardly in place.

Lexa nods and makes her way over to Clarke who turns around and opens her door. Together they walk down the stairs and out of the complex. Clarke leads Lexa to her car and once she unlocks it they both climb in. The car trip is mostly silent besides the directions given by Lexa. Once they arrive at Lexa’s apartment they both jump out of the car.

“Let me walk you over,” Clarke blurts out, gesturing over to Lexa sides.

“Habit,” she follows up, kicking at her feet.

Lexa does nothing but smile through a nod and takes her turn leading Clarke through her own complex. They had to climb a copious number of stairs and Clarke is pretty sure they are three levels up when she sees Lexa’s keys slide through the lock of a door and Lexa walks in.

Clarke pauses before entering, unsure if Lexa wants her to follow or not, she doesn’t want to make it weird. But, when Lexa turns around and gives nothing but a smile and gesture with her head to come inside, she does. Clarke has to stop her mouth from gaping when she walks into her apartment. The place is beautiful. The place isn’t _rich_ rich but it’s rich enough. The living room consists of a lovely kitchen with a marble countertop accompanied by three bar stools to the right of the main door. Further into the room, there is a huge white fluffy rug laid out behind a black leather couch that sits comfortably in front of a glass coffee table and a beautiful large fire place in front of that.

As Clarke walks further into the room she notices there are painted canvases spread along the wall next to the rug, the wall extends all the way to a sliding door at the end of the room that Clarke assumes leads to a balcony of sorts. She walks over to the wall of art and marvels at the paintings in front of her.

“These are beautiful,” she breathes, gasping at each as she moves slowly along the wall, but then goes back to the first one to inspect it properly.

She feels Lexa slide into the space next to her, a huge smile spread across her face.

“These are all my grandmother’s,” Lexa smiles more into her words.

“They are… they are incredible,” Clarke says aching to reach out and touch the masterpieces.

“She always wanted her work to be featured in a gallery, but she never got the opportunity,” Lexa says as her head drops.

“They deserve to be in a gallery,” Clarke says, her gaze still affixed on the paintings in front of her.

“It would make her so happy to know that all kinds of people could enjoy her art, not just me,” Lexa says lifting her head up looking softly at Clarke who is awestruck.

The paintings range from all kinds of genres. There is an electric cityscape painting that buzzes with life, capturing the skyscrapers of the city being touched by the rays of days sunset. The blur of people going about their days. There is another painting capturing the essence of a forest, trees spiralling up into the sky, so tall there _was_ no sky. It made you feel so free, it was invigorating. She walks over to another canvas that has been touched by the magic of a night sky. Snowy mountain ranges envelop a valley with a small town at its centre, lit up. She continues moving along the wall and gazes at the next canvas along the line, it is of a generic fruit basket, but the way she has captured this fruit bowl is not generic at all. Clarke can see the delicate hand-work, the small strokes of colour that splash the canvas adding great detail to something so simple. There is another canvas with a majestic snow leopard at its centre, surrounded by three cubs playing at her feet. Surrounding them, huge ice aisles and snow caps. The detail of the leopards is incredible. Clarke continues her journey along the wall to the last painting and gasps, stopping in her tracks. She takes a small step back, eyes fixated on the canvas in front of her, jaw dropped.

“This is the most beautiful painting I have ever seen,” Clarke says trying to suck back in some air.

“Really?” She hears Lexa say.

Clarke jumps a little at how close the sound was to her ear, she was completely unaware that Lexa was moving along the wall with her. She felt like she was alone in the room. So captivated by the artwork, the world just disappeared around her.

“Yes,” Clarke says, putting her hand up to the artwork, fingers hovering slightly over the dried paint. She has such an urge to touch this painting, to _feel_ this painting, to feel its life, its love. The care that went into the painting. The detail that she knows would have taken days. She pulls her hand away though and looks over to Lexa who is equally staring at the painting, eyes completely glossed over. Something about this moment feels so intimate to Clarke. She knows she is sharing something so private and personal to Lexa, being able to share this moment and study the paintings together. She knows Lexa has most likely studied these paintings _many_ times, but right now she is looking at them like this is the first time she has ever seen them. A single tear drops from her eye but she doesn’t flinch, she just stares. And Lexa is beautiful. Her hair curls over her shoulders, her plump lips trembling as another tear slips free. The bruises on her cheeks are a mix of purple and green. Her eyes blink away the rest of the water revealing her eyes, beautiful and green like a forest. Like her grandmother’s forest.

Clarke aches to take out a canvas of her own, and paint what lays in front of her eyes. This girl, with all her vulnerability, her tears. This pure moment. Clarke forces herself to push the inspiration away to the back of her head and she reaches out to extend an arm around Lexa’s waist without even thinking. She shudders on the impact, but she quickly settles into the side embrace, thankful at the comfort she is able to experience in this moment of sadness. Clarke knows this is an important moment. She holds Lexa tighter and with a single breath Lexa rests her head against Clarke’s shoulder, swallowing thickly as if she could just swallow all her tears away.

“She painted this of me when I was 3 years old,” she breathes in deeply, “she told me that she never experienced true inspiration until she first saw me.”

Clarke wants to say, “I know how she feels,” but she bites her tongue and looks back up at the painting. She gapes at a little girl leaning through window, a huge smile on her face with huge green eyes staring at you. A deep green that holds Clarke’s gaze for longer than it should. The little girl’s eyes are so full of visible joy and happiness that it overwhelms her. The child’s dark hair is wild and free flowing, falling only to her shoulders. You can’t really see inside the window as the girl takes up practically all of it. Surrounding the window are luscious green plants and vines that only enhance the girl’s eyes more. The structure of the house seems to be made of light-coloured bricks that peek through the vines. The hint of red flowers showers the plants around the open window. Something about the painting is just… electric.

“I’m humbled to be seeing these,” Clarke lets out, and Lexa stumbles out of the side embrace, so she can look at Clarke,

“You really like this painting, don’t you?” Lexa says looking at the side of Clarke’s head.

Clarke turns around to meet Lexa’s, eyes now glossy too. She goes to speak but nothing comes out, so she only nods.

Lexa is visibly taken aback at the fact that Clarke is now crying. It warms Lexa, in a way she has never experienced before. They share the same comfortable silence as they always have until it’s broken by Clarke’s phone ringing in her pocket. Clarke jumps at the sudden noise and fumbles through her pockets to find it and bring it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Yeah hi, it’s Jasper. I feel like I’m being stood up here.”

“What?” Clarke blinks in confusion.

“Taps,” he says deadpanned.

Realisation sets in, “oh my god. I’m so sorry, I got held up. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

She hears him laugh, “yeah yeah, see you soon,” and then he hangs up.

“Everything okay?” Lexa tilts her head.

“Yeah, sorry, that was just my friend. I forgot I was meeting him for lunch. I’m sorry but I have to get going,” Clarke says with regret in her voice. She goes to collect her jacket that she left on the couch.

“Clarke, wait.”

Clarke turns around to see Lexa unhooking the canvas from her wall. Her eyes widen at the motion. Lexa turns around and extends the canvas to Clarke, “here. I want you to have this.”

Clarke gapes and actually forgets how to breathe, her lungs go without air so long she’s practically gasping for air by the time she says, “what are you doing?” As if it wasn’t already obvious but she can’t comprehend what’s going on.

“I’m giving it to you. I can see how much you love it,” Lexa responds.

“Lexa. I could never. It’s your grandmother’s. I can see how important it is to you,” Clarke says as she is still struggling to remember to breathe.

“It is important to me. But you saved my life, Clarke. I could never repay this. However, I can see in your eyes that you _love_ this painting. And as much as I do love this painting also, it moves you. Please. Please take this,” Lexa says almost in desperation, extending the painting out more so it’s in Clarke’s reach.

Clarke feels her eyes sting with the threat of tears aching to break free again. She is so moved by this notion. She _knows_ how much her grandmother means. How much _this_ painting means. But she is willing to give it to someone she met the other day? Clarke says nothing but delicately reaches out and takes the painting from Lexa’s hands. Lexa nods and then moves past Clarke to open the door for her. Clarke is in such a trance she doesn’t know what to do with her body, so she only moves towards the door and in a few strides, she is outside the door looking back at Lexa. As the door begins to close she snaps out of her trance and yells, “wait!”

“Yes, Clarke?” Lexa says opening the door back up.

“I want to see you again,” Clarke says with minor panic in her voice.

Lexa smiles and ducks her head to hide it before looking back up, “give me your phone.”

Clarke does as she is told, and Lexa takes the phone and begins tapping away at the screen before giving it back, “there, now you have my number,” she says.

Clarke only nods, then awkwardly shuffles away and she hears the door close behind her. She clutches the painting in her arms as she makes her way out of the complex and back to her car. She opens her trunk and gently places the canvas inside before getting into the driver’s seat and making her way to Taps.


	4. Chapter Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter to ‘Promise’ by Ben Howard.

“Took you long enough!” Jasper says as Clarke sits down in the chair across from him. When Clarke says nothing but stare at the table with wide eyes he asks, “are you okay?”

“I have no fucking idea,” she says back looking up at him.

“Woah,” he shuffles through his thick brown hair, “tell me everything.”

After a good hour of eating food and explaining the past events, Jasper can only gape at what comes out of Clarke’s mouth. She tells him about the mugging and what she did to the leather-clad man, how she took her home and looked after her wounds. How they watched the Lion King together and how they shared coffee the next morning. How Clarke got to see her apartment, and all the art that was displayed inside of it. How she got given one of her grandmother’s paintings. She can only sigh when she explains how beautiful the art was.

“And now, I’m here,” Clarke says concluding her story.

Jasper stares with an open mouth for a few moments before, “damn, Clarke.”

“Right?”

“You got it bad,” he says.

“What do you mean?” She replies.

“You like this girl.”

“What?” she gasps at the words, “don’t be stupid, Jasper.”

“I’m just saying,” he puts his hands up in a surrender position.

Clarke deliberates his words for a moment. Does she? Does she like this girl? Maybe… maybe she does. Oh god. Her eyes widen a bit at the realisation.

“It’s far too soon to tell,” she says quickly.

Jasper nods with satisfaction, “whatever you say Clarke, but I know you. You like this girl. You literally just described her to me like you’re in love with her.”

Clarke snorts at the remark and laughs for a long time, “Jas, shut up, I’m not in love with her. I hardly know her.”

Jasper hums and raises an eyebrow.

“Shouldn’t you be getting to work?” He says looking at the clock on his phone.

Clarke gasps as she equally checks her phone, “shit!”

She gets up rapidly and hurries out of the restaurant quickly yelling a goodbye at Jasper before getting back into her car. She pulls into the parking lot of the radio station and literally runs inside of the building, swiping her keycard as she goes. She gets to the live studio room and quietly slips inside and settles into her seat.

“You’re late,” her co-partner Nathan says eyeing her so hard she thought it would leave a mark.

“I know, I’m sorry,” she says panting from the run.

“We are live in two minutes, you cut it too close, Griffin,” he says shaking his head.

“Damn, using my last name huh Miller, you’re _really_ mad,” she says playfully in an attempt to loosen the man up, but he only shakes his head more as he studies some papers.

He pulls his mic closer to his mouth, eyeing his watch counting down, moments later he begins, “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand good afternoon everyone, it is your hosts Nathan and Clarke at your service for your afternoon drives. Thank you for tuning into FM96.5!”

“And what a beautiful evening it is, Nathan,” Clarke adds in with a pep in her voice.

“Indeed!” he replies, “this afternoon folks we have a lot of awesome songs lined up for you. In between the line-up we have will have some news reports, traffic updates, and some cool personal segments that you folks can join in on!”

Clarke can’t help but let her mind zone out as Nathan carries on. She knows she needs to be amped up and focused but every time she tries to think of anything else, she can’t. Anything other than Lexa. She can’t stop picturing her face in her mind, her green staring into her blue. The tremble of her lips as she stares at her grandmother’s painting. Her warmth against her skin as they hugged. The waves of her hair, the softness of her cheeks. “ _God Clarke, you do like her_ ,” she says to herself and slumps further into her chair.

The next few hours pass so slowly and Clarke sighs audible relief when she sees the night hosts come into the room to take their spots. Clarke gets up and follows Nathan out of the room closing the door behind them.

“Are you okay, Clarke?” He says with genuine concern on his face.

“Me? Oh, yeah I’m fine, thanks.”

“Are you sure? Cause you were super quiet tonight.”

“I apologise for that, just a lot on my mind, I’ll be better tomorrow.”

Nathan hums at the response and nods. The two of them make their way to the exit of the building and part ways when they reach the parking lot. Once Clarke gets into the driver’s seat, she relaxes into it, listening to the silence. The silence isn’t as nice when Lexa isn’t there. Clarke shakes her head, “this is stupid,” she laughs to herself before turning her car on and driving home.

Kibbles greets her as she walks into the door, Clarke bends down and picks him up rubbing her hands through his fur, sighing at the sensation. She puts him down and fills his bowl up with food, she pours herself a glass of water and proceeds to the couch.

She gapes at the spot where Lexa would sit. The empty space makes her uneasy. Why is she feeling like this? She has _never_ felt this way before. The sensation to _want_ someone’s presence. The emptiness she feels when they _aren’t_ around. She suddenly feels uncomfortable in her own damn apartment.

She sets her glass down in a huff and pushes herself up. She rubs her eyes as she walks down her hallway and into the bathroom. She stares at herself in the mirror as she brushes her teeth, her eyes sag at the weight of exhaustion. It’s been a long day.

She shuffles into her room, taking her clothes off one piece at a time until she is just in her underwear. She slinks into bed with a yawn sprawled across her face. Once she is settled she closes her eyes, pressing her face into her soft pillow. Her pillow.

_Lexa._

Clarke’s eyes open when she realises that her bed smells like her. The pillow, the blanket, the sheets. Everything. Clarke can’t help but breathe in the scent of the pillow and sigh at how warm it makes her feel inside. Her hands brush over her sheets and lets out another sigh. She pulls her wrist up and squints as she tries to make out the time: 7:36pm.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” she says literally face-palming herself.

She sits up, now wide awake. She huffs angrily and gets out of bed, redressing herself before she moves out of her bedroom. She grabs her phone and her keys and leaves her apartment without saying a word. She needs to get Lexa out of her head. She pulls into the building block where her studio is and takes the painting out of her trunk. She walks over to the building and unlocks the door, walking in. She climbs a copious number of stairs until she reaches the top of level; her studio. She unlocks the door and walks in, Lexa’s canvas in hand. Clarke is overwhelmed by the familiar smell of paints and chalks, oils and watercolours. A smile breaks across her lips and she sets the canvas down and takes her coat off, placing it on one of the chairs in the room. She swirls around in a circle, arms extended, breathing in the room. She always feels so happy in her studio. So free. Clarke goes over to the painting and picks it up then she scouts the room for a place to hang it. She walks over to the backwall and hangs it up nicely in the centre, stepping back with a nod of satisfaction.

She glazes over the painting for what feels like the hundredth time and the first time all at once. She feels her eyes swell up again as she stares at the little girl’s eyes, and when she closes them, she sees Lexa. Glowing. Beautiful.

“Right,” she says moving away from the painting, and to her stack of plain canvases in the opposite corner. She picks a medium size one up and presses it into one of her easels, sitting down in front of it. She lifts her hand and presses it against the material of the canvas, moving her hand up and down the lengths of it, sighing at the feeling. So much potential. The fact that something plain and dead, can be brought to life so easily. Clarke can barely keep still, she is _buzzing_ with excitement. She picks up her paints and quickly begins mixing colours together to find the right blends. She dabs her brush into the green she has created and presses it against the canvas.

 

//

 

8 hours pass in what feels like 3. Clarke nods with satisfaction at her finished painting, leaning back to really take it in. She gets up and looks around her room, taking in each and every one of her paintings and drawings splattered around her workspace, scattered between her easels and her wall space. She then looks back at painting in front of her. Paint still wet.

“Yeah, this is my best work,” she says out loud.

She jumps when she feels her phone ring in her back pocket, she quickly raises it to her ear.

“Hello?” Clarke says rubbing her eyes with her other hand.

“Why am I not surprised you’re up.”

Clarke smiles at the voice on the other side of the line.

“I could say the same about you, Anya,” Clarke replies with a smile.

“I’m calling to say that I have an opening at my gallery for an art piece and I thought I could feature one of yours again.”

“Yes! That would be great! When?”

“Asap. Well. I guess not _asap_ asap. Tomorrow morning would be great. I hope you have a good one ready to go,” Anya says.

Clarke takes some time to think.

“You know what, I got the perfect one. You’re going to love it, I’ll call you when I’m on my way,” Clarke says buzzing so much with excitement her blood feels weird.

“Great! Good to hear Kid. See you in the morrow!” Anya says before hanging up.

Clarke breathes heavily, “this is going to be perfect.”


	5. Chapter Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have made it this far, thank you! I appreciate it! I will be adding the next chapter in a few days. Any feedback (good or bad) is welcome! I have a lot more in store for the story, so hopefully you guys can continue the journey with me. I wrote this chapter to ‘Hope’ by Daughter.

“Thanks Anya, you won’t regret this, I promise,” Clarke says leaving Anya’s house.

“Honestly, Kid. The people are gonna love this,” Anya says back.

Clarke’s grin is from ear to ear, “I’ll stop by and check it out soon!”

Anya nods and Clarke hugs her goodbye before jogging down the driveway to her car. Her skin feels electric. Anya only has space for her pieces once in a blue moon, so Clarke really is buzzing. Anya was a close friend of her father’s, they would paint together too, and Anya was _very_ good. Emphasis on was because now she runs the most prestigious gallery in the state, which has become somewhat of a world-wide phenomenon. The galleries name is called the Aurelie, it’s so prestigious it even features some Van Gogh pieces and other famous artworks. Anya tries her best to kick off Clarke’s art career, and genuinely wants to nurture her talent, so whenever there _are_ artwork openings, Clarke is the first to be called. So yeah, she is buzzing. She gets her phone out of her pocket and inputs Lexa’s numbers from the notes into her messages.

 _Hey! It’s me, Clark_ e _. I was wondering if you were up for a coffee today sometime_?

Clarke stares at the text, her throat in her chest, her skin prickly with nerves.

“Just do it,” she says to herself pressing the send button. She awaits eagerly for a text back that never seems to arrive. Clarke sighs and starts her car, driving home. The drive is from Anya’s is only a 20-minute trip, which Clarke didn’t mind as she enjoys driving with her windows down, blasting music as she goes. Once Clarke pulls into her parking lot, she goes to grab her phone and sees a notification with Lexa’s digits on it. Clarke’s heart is in her chest at the site. She half doesn’t want to pick it up, but she half can’t stand the wait.

She eagerly grabs at her phone, nearly dropping it and Clarke quickly catches it and clutches it to her chest like it’s a lifeline. She slowly releases her grip and swipes open her phone to read the message:

_Lexa: Hey! I do have some free time right now if you’d like! I can meet you somewhere in 30 minutes?_

Clarke’s grin is so wide it literally begins to hurt her cheeks. She wants to wait a bit before replying so she doesn’t seem so eager, but her thumbs have a different idea.

 _Yeah, that sounds great! We can meet at Lucy’s, it’s a really nice little café that’s close to where you live_.

 _Lexa: I’ve heard of that café, never been there however. I’ll see you there soon!_ Lexa signs off with a smiley face emoji after the text.

Clarke feels like she just stepped into cloud nine. The euphoria she feels makes her feel dizzy but in a good way. Clarke jumps out of her car with a pep in her step and makes her way to her apartment. First thing she wants to do is change and get out of the clothes she’s been wearing since yesterday. She makes her way to her drawers after giving Kibbles a scratch on the head, she wants to wear something nice but not _too_ nice. She ruffles through her shirts and sighs before making her way over to closet and stares blankly at her dresses, sweaters, jackets, and various other items.

“This is hard,” she sighs again brushing her hand across her clothes.

She knows this isn’t a date. Although she wouldn’t really know what classifies as a date. She has never _really_ been on one before. She has had her fair share of crushes and makeouts, even sex, with both genders, but that was during _and_ after her grieving stage where she couldn’t care what she did, she just needed an escape.

She shakes her head, “this is definitely not a date. Hell, you don’t even know if she into girls, and even if she was she certainly wouldn’t be into you.”

Even so, she finds a nice blue dress in the mix of her wardrobe, it matches her eyes and thought it would look nice. She pulls on some stockings, a tight-fitting black jacket and some black heels to match. She gives herself the nod of approval as she glances herself over in the mirror. Her blonde hair sitting nicely just above her shoulders. She thinks she looks nice.

She checks her watch and gets a move on. She gets her work bag together for later, packing bits and bobs and Lexa’s clothes from the other day. She gives Kibbles one last head scratch before hurrying a goodbye as she grabs her keys and leaves her apartment. She’s quick making it to café, but much to her surprise Lexa is already sitting inside waiting for her. Actually, that doesn’t surprise her at all. She takes a breath and steps inside the cafe; Lexa’s eyes instantly find Clarke’s. Clarke takes the time to study the girl as she stands up to greet her. She is wearing tight black jeans with black boots, and a grey button-up shirt. Clarke gulps and she is sure Lexa can see the visible movement in her throat. She walks forward, and Lexa pulls her in for a quick embrace before they sit down.

“Greetings, Clarke,” she says getting comfortable in her seat.

“Hey,” Clarke begins as she takes her jacket off, “you’re here early.”

“On the contrary, I only just arrived minutes before you did. I’m not one to be late to things, as an actor you _always_ have to be on time, so I allow myself to arrive at places early. Beats the alternative.”

Clarke smiles and nods as she looks at her. As she keeps looking, her eyebrows furrow and she cocks her head to the side, “your… your bruises? They’re gone?”

Lexa laughs as she raises her hands to her face. “Makeup. You learn some cool tricks being a screen actor. The amount of times I’ve had to sit down in the makeup chair to cover all the bruises I get from stunts is countless. I don’t even know why I freaked out on you about my bruises the other day, it’s like makeup completely slipped my mind.

“Honestly, I didn’t even think of makeup either. You can hardly even notice them!” Clarke begins fumbling through her handbag and pulls out a familiar cream to them both.

“I wasn’t sure if you had any, so I brought the cream I used on your bruises… if you wanted it.”

Lexa’s eyes widen in appreciation and extends a hand to take it from her.

“Thank you, Clarke. This will help a lot.”

“You’re welcome, apply it whenever you can. Specifically, before bed so the cream can absorb into your skin.”

Lexa nods and puts it away in her own bag.

“Oh!” Clarke exclaims as she fumbles through her bag some more.

“I brought your clothes from the other day, I washed everything you left behind.”

Lexa giggles and pulls out some clothes of her own to give back to Clarke, “I too brought the clothes you let me borrow, however I didn’t wash them.”

“That’s okay,” Clarke giggles back in response and they both exchange clothes before putting them away again.

“Shall we get some coffee?” Clarke says.

“Yes, we shall, what do you have, Clarke? I’ll pay for it, it’s the least I can do.”

Clarke smiles, “caramel macchiato please.” Lexa nods and goes to stand in line.

Clarke can’t help but stare at how well Lexa’s jeans fit around her ass, stare at how slender her legs are, how her hair falls beautifully down her back. She enjoys the uninterrupted stare while she can before Lexa orders their coffees and makes her way to sit back down. They exchange awkward smiles before Lexa breaks the silence.

“How are you liking the painting?”

“Oh god Lexa, it’s amazing. I still can’t believe you gave it me just like that.”

Lexa shrugs, “I’ve never seen someone admire my grandmother’s work the way you have. Granted, not many people have seen her work but the few who have didn’t pay much regard to them.”

“I promise I will take good care of it. I’ve already found the perfect place for it,” Clarke struggles to hide her grin, but Lexa sees it and eyes her suspiciously.

“Oh really?” Lexa smiles playfully, and Clarke feels all the blood in her body rush to her face, she is sure she is going red.

“Alright ladies!” A woman bursts out standing next to them with their coffees, and Clarke is almost grateful at the timing. “I have one caramel macchiato,” Clarke gestures out that it’s hers and the waitress passes it over, “and I have an americano,” she says placing the coffee in front of Lexa before walking away.

Clarke’s eyes widen as she stares at Lexa’s coffee.

“Not a fan of americanos?” Lexa says smiling into her coffee.

“Not at all. I’m a sucker for sweet drinks, I don’t think I can handle americanos.”

“Never tried it?”

“No… but I know I won’t enjoy it.”

“Come on, just try it.” Lexa says smiling as she holds out her coffee for Clarke to try it.

Clarke grabs the cup and eyes it suspiciously before taking a sip of the coffee. Her face contorts as she tries to keep the liquid in her mouth long enough to swallow it and Lexa laughs loudly. Clarke nearly chokes as she tries to juggle swallowing the liquid and being so taken aback by the beautiful sound leaving Lexa’s mouth.

She passes the coffee back to her before revelling in the sweet taste of her own coffee with a loud sigh of relief.

“It’s officially safe to say that I now hate americanos and will _happily_ stay with my syrupy drinks,” Clarke says smiling happily as she washes the bitterness away.

“I’m not too good with sweet coffees. I feel it detracts from the caffeine I’m trying to consume. When I need a hit, I _need_ a hit.”

Clarke giggles, “yeah that makes sense,” she sips at her coffee, “how’s all the line learning going?”

“Quite well actually, we have our first table reading tomorrow,” she swallows loudly and bites at her lip, “I _really_ shouldn’t even be telling you that,” she half-laughs awkwardly.

“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t say anything. I don’t even know what the movie is called that you’re shooting.”

Lexa hums in agreement and sips more at her coffee.

“Your dress is really nice, by the way. It matches your eyes,” Lexa says averting her eyes from Clarke’s and back to her coffee.

Clarke blushes almost instantly at the sudden compliment, not knowing how to react or respond. She forces out and thank you and Lexa only smiles and nods.

The air is thick after that, the silence deafening. She can’t quite enjoy the comfortable silence she’s so used to with the girl across from her after a comment like that, she _has_ to break this silence.

“So, how long have you been acting?” Clarke blurts out.

Lexa sets her cup down, “truthfully not that long. I got into the industry when I was 20, so 5 years ago. I always had an interest in acting but I never got the opportunity to explore it when I was younger, so once I came of a decent age, I began seeking out acting classes and schools and such. I got scouted out by a talent manager and instantly got put on some pretty big films and shows.”

“Wow! That’s cool. Sounds like you’re really good.”

Lexa blushes slightly, “I’m not one to stroke my own ego, honestly I don’t even think I’m that good, but I suppose others think differently.”

“I wanna see.”

“See what?”

“I wanna see some of the stuff you’ve been in!” Clarke leans forward on the table with a sparkle in her eye.

“No way,” Lexa says as she shakes her head and crosses her arms.

“What! Why?” Clarke pouts.

“It’s awkward! I’m not in the habit of allowing people I know to watch things I’ve been in.”

“You see, you say that, but I can just look you up online.”

Lexa’s eyes widen, and Clarke lets out a hearty laugh at the site.

“Do what you will, Clarke. I cannot stop you.”

“I mean, in all fairness. I don’t know your last name.”

“Exactly,” Lexa says smirking with satisfaction.

“Oh please, I’m sure you’re great. If it makes you feel better, I can show you my art sometime.”

Lexa’s eyes gleam at the words, “really?”

Clarke shrugs, “I guess. It’s only fair right?”

There is a short silence before, “Woods. That’s my last name,” Lexa says with a pink tint to her skin.

Clarke nearly passes out trying not to laugh at what she is about to say, “So, woods you allow me to watch your movies?”

The moment is serious until Lexa’s face softens and her smile widens, and she laughs loudly at the stupid pun. The moment is beautiful. Clarke wants nothing more than to rush to her studio and pull out a canvas to paint this moment. The way the sun filters through the window next to them and hits Lexa’s eyes _just_ the right way. How her hair falls so naturally around her shoulders. How her smile makes Clarke physically melt. Clarke begins to blush as she takes Lexa in, Lexa notices and her smile turns into curiosity.

The moment is broken by an alarm going off on Clarke’s phone, she jumps at the sudden sound and quickly turns it off.

“What was that?” Lexa says equally startled.

“I have to get ready to leave for my job,” Clarke groans loudly.

“Your job?”

“Ah yeah. I paint as a hobby, I would _love_ to make it my full-time job but there is so much competition. So, in the meantime I work at a radio station three times a week and take the afternoon shifts for them. Pays the bills I guess.”

“That’s intriguing! What radio station?”

“FM96.5,” Clarke lets out without even thinking.

Lexa gives her a satisfactory nod, “well you better get going then.”

They both stand up and gather their jackets.

“Thanks for meeting with me, Clarke. It was fun.”

“No need to thank me, Lexa.”


	6. Chapter Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so overwhelmed by the responses I’ve gotten with the story, in SUCH a short time too. Thank you so much for all the kudos’ and kind comments! I am honestly blown away. As promised, here is the next chapter! It's a bit shorter then the past few, but the next chapter will make up for it! I wrote this chapter to ‘Parade’ by Rone.

Clarke feels like she is soaring when she walks into the live studio. Riding a high she has never felt before. Hell, it was only coffee. Nothing special. But it was exhilarating. She quickly hurries a text to Anya before shoving it to the bottom of her bag.

“You’re actually on time today, Clarke,” Nathan says as he assumes his position in his chair.

“Ha. Ha. You know I’m usually on time,” Clarke says cocking her head in thought as to whether or not she _is_ usually on time.

Nathan shakes his head playfully and reads through some papers scattered around the table.

“We have a new segment starting up today, it’s basically a ‘real-life’ segment where we are just real with our listeners about life and its struggles and joys, sharing and giving advice. Marcus thought it would be a good idea to get personal with the audience to captivate their attention more. I don’t know if it actually works like that, but we should give it a go, I thought you could take lead.”

Clarke’s mouth gapes open.

“What would I even talk about?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to you, Clarke. Talk about… love or sorrow or something.”

Clarke scoffs and Nathan just squints his eyes.

“You could talk about your dad and how to deal with grie-“

“Absolutely not.”

“Clar-“

“Nathan, I said no. Never mention him again.”

Nathan scrunches his face up before softening it again and nods.

Clarke _never_ likes to talk about her dad. The only reason Nathan knows is because they got drunk one night two years ago at a work party, and she broke down to him about it. Clarke is all fired up now, mind racing with thoughts of her dad and she hates the way he still gets to her. Nathan seems to notice her heavy breathing and darting eyes on the table.

“What about love?” He breaks the tension.

Clarke stops her mind frenzy and looks up at him, meeting his gaze. Her mind instantly relaxes when Lexa makes her way into her thoughts. And it’s weird. It’s weird how she managed to get over the impending anxiety attack just by thinking of one girl. The soothing green eyes that make her feel comfortable and safe. The warmth of her skin. The softness of her hair.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking about, talk about that. We are live in one minute,” Nathan says putting his headset on and bringing the mic closer to his face.

Clarke’s skin prickles with nerves at the sudden pressure that has been thrust upon her, she shakily reaches for her headset and mic before Nathan begins his intro to the afternoon session, kicking it off.

 

//

 

Clarke has had a couple of hours to think and bounce off Nathan, listening to the songs they put on. And now it’s time for that real-life segment. Clarke sucks in some air.

The song that was being played slowly fades out, “ah what a good song, one of my favourites. I’m Clarke Griffin and you’re listening to the afternoon session of FM96.5, welcome back. It is now 5pm which means it's segment time, today we are introducing a new real-life segment where we are able to just get real with you all and share some experiences we as people, face. The good and the bad, and to give advice about them.”

She takes in a breath, Nathan just looks at her and smiles with a nod of encouragement.

“Truthfully, I am so unprepared for this so I’m just going to start talking and see where we go with it,” she clears her throat, “my life has been repetitive for as long as I can remember, I’d work here when I’m scheduled to, I’d paint during the time in between and I’d see my friends in between that. Not to mention to occasional martial arts session when I’m mad. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my life, it’s not like I’m unhappy. But its… so devoid of excitement, life, something _new_. That breath of fresh air. It felt like I was slowly drowning. Recently however, I got that breath of fresh air. I found the surface. Something entered my life that _is_ new, exciting, full of life. It’s disrupted my monotony for the better. It’s given me something new to think about, something to look forward to. Something to give me hope. It’s something that I didn’t seek, didn’t actively look for, it’s something that happened unexpectedly. Listeners, I encourage you to keep an eye out for something unexpected. If someone asks you to do something you usually say no to, say yes. Shake your life up. I can assure you it is healthy for your mind and your lifestyle to do something out of the ordinary for you. Seize opportunities when they arise because you never know how drastically your life could change from it. If it doesn’t turn out well, you will grow as a person. If it does, you will also grow as a person. Life is for growing, and for changing.

After another good 10 minutes of talking, she drinks some water, “unfortunately that is all the time we have for today’s segment, if you want to submit a topic to talk about or to branch off what was said today, do text our line or post some responses on our website and we will happily review them! It’s now time for the next song in our top 30 count-down, after that you will be greeted once again by my amazing co-partner, Nathan, with a traffic report.”

She hears the music take over and she allows herself to breathe relief, taking off the headset and placing it on the table in front. She rests her head in her hands before massaging her scalp soothingly.

 “Not bad, Griffin.”

“I’d like to see you try something like this on the spot, Miller.”

“No, I’m being serious, Clarke. That was really good for such short notice. I am however curious as to what this _something_ is.”

Clarke looks up to meet his eyes and she smirks, “you’re just going to have to wait and find out.”

 

//

 

Clarke slinks out of the live studio as soon as her shift is over, she is _craving_ a hot shower. As soon as she walks into her apartment, she plops her bag by her bed and then feeds Kibbles. As soon as he digs in, she strips bare, so she can get into the shower before anything else grabs her attention. The hot water feels _so_ good against her skin. She lathers herself in soap, washing away all the grime that gathered from sitting in one place for hours on end. She sighs as she runs shampoo through her hair, massaging her head as she does. She stands in the shower for about an hour, unashamedly. Half of that time being used to wash herself, the other half is her just being deep in thought. She feels good, happy. She aches to see Lexa again. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. But the ache is there. The warmth she feels when she sees Lexa’s smile is something this shower could never give her.

She steps out of the shower, tying her wet hair up with a towel and walks out to her bedroom to find some pjs for the night. Once she is comfortably dressed she grabs her phone that she had been neglecting since her text to Anya, and settles on her couch. Her eyes widen at the mass of notifications that she has missed throughout the day.

5 missed texts from Jasper, 1 missed phone call.

1 missed text from Marcus.

2 missed texts from Anya.

1 missed text from Lexa.

_Lexa!_

Clarke fumbles with her phone so violently as she tries to open the texts between her and Lexa, she nearly drops it again.

_Lexa: Thanks again for asking me out for coffee. I enjoyed talking with you! Maybe we can do it again sometime._

Clarke’s jaw drops so much she’s convinced it could be touching the ground, she scrambles to reply.

_Hi! I’m so sorry for the late reply. No phones at work. You REALLY need to stop thanking me, cause you don’t need to. I enjoyed it too! I’d love to hang out again sometime._

Lexa’s response is formed in seconds.

_Lexa: That’s fine, I understand! We have the same policy. Also, the more you tell me not to thank you, the more I am tempted to do so._

_Is that a challenge, Lexa?_

_Lexa: I don’t know, Clarke. Is it?_

Clarke blushes and smiles into her phone. She knows nothing is going on, but Clarke is so stupidly giddy inside.

_I guess we will have to see. When are you free next?_

_Lexa: I don’t think I can make tomorrow work as I am on set all day with the readings. The weekend is probably best._

_Okay, cool. I will talk to you then, then!_

Lexa only sends a smiley face back and Clarke sighs as she switches from a sitting position to a laying position on her couch.

“What the hell, Clarke.”

She quickly goes to check the rest of her messages that she also missed.

_Jasper: Hey, Clarke!_

_Jasper: Did you wanna hang out tomorrow?_

_Jasper: I got the day off and thought we could do something_

_Jasper: Besides, I wanna hear more about this girl of yours_

_Jasper: Let me know!_

Clarke lets out a laugh as she replies.

_Firstly, she is NOT my girl!_

_Secondly, sure I’d be happy to hang out. Before 1pm though, cause I have work. Let me know tomorrow what you want to do._

She continues sifting through her messages.

_Marcus: Good job today, Clarke. Sorry to spring that on you. I thought Nathan was going to handle today’s talk, but he did the right thing in letting you do it. I enjoyed listening to it. I might have to give you control of the entire segment if it goes over well. Take care, see you tomorrow._

Clarke formulates a response to her boss before opening her notifications from Anya.

_Anya: Hey, kid!_

_Anya: Just letting you know I did what you said and the painting you gave me is up in my gallery! It’s already gotten some amazing responses. You gotta come down and see it in action._

A shiver of thrill ripples through Clarke, she hasn’t been able to focus on anything else but the painting she gave to Anya to put in the Aurelie. Well, that and Lexa.

_That’s amazing to hear! I’ll have to come by this weekend sometime as I’m fully booked up for tomorrow. Thanks again A, I really owe you one for this. Even though you came to me, I owe you, especially for taking on this particular painting. Thanks for staying in my life._

Clarke puts her phone down on the coffee table and stares up at her ceiling for a few minutes, just thinking. About everything. She is inexplicably tired, it’s only about 8:30pm but she is shattered. She nods her head to her own thoughts about going to bed and gets up to move to the bathroom. She scrubs away at her teeth before shuffling sleepily into her bed. Her pillows still share the faint scent of Lexa, and Clarke is comforted by it. She smiles into her pillow before sleep overcomes her.


	7. Chapter Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all the kind comments and Kudos, it’s really motivating and lovely to read. I’m happy you’re all enjoying it considering it’s only just beginning! This chapter was particularly fun to write. I’m enjoying exploring the friendship I’m creating between Clarke and Jasper. I really enjoyed Jasper’s character on the show of The 100 (particularly season 1-2), he seemed like a super fun guy to be around, so I guess I’m trying to replicate that a bit! I wrote this chapter to ‘Linger’ by the Cranberries.

Clarke allows herself to sleep in a bit this morning. It’s around 9am. Which surprisingly _is_ a sleep in for her. Clarke is quite the morning person, and she has no problem admitting it. She wakes up slowly to warmth of the sun flooding through her window, and the warmth in her sheets. She rubs her eyes with a yawn before deciding it’s still too early to get up out of bed. She grabs her pillow and snuggles more against it.

“ _I should probably see what Jasper replied,”_ Clarke says to herself before groaning to grab her phone from her side table.

_Jasper: Yeah, yeah. I know you work, dumbass. Let’s meet at 10am so we can get more time together. Wanna go check out those Friday street performers on fifth? I hear they also set up some dope artworks there too._

_Morning. Yeah Jas, that sounds great. I’ve always wanted to see that district on a Friday, heard there’s some super talented people there too. I’ll meet you by the food trucks! I’d be damned if you can’t hear my stomach grumbling from all the way over here._

Clarke groans when she sees what time it is, she rolls out of bed and starts the process of changing her clothes. She fishes out some blue jeans and an overly large but comfortable mustard-coloured hoodie. Sighing into the warmth, she moves into her kitchen to make a quick coffee before she leaves. She cuddles with Kibbles who lovingly accepts it before complaining that it’s food time. She laughs and goes to feed him, she then grabs her coffee and sets herself down by her window, so she can look out at the shitty street view she has. But it’s something, and she is grateful for it. She can only imagine how amazing Lexa’s view must look. She makes a mental note of sussing it out next time she is there. Assuming that she will be lucky enough to have a next time. She sips on her coffee, savouring the taste, enjoying the sun rays coming through her frosted and dew-ridden window.

She finishes up her coffee before grabbing her mittens, backpack, and car keys. The drive to fifth is quick, she enjoys the fact that she lives so central, makes it easy for transportation. She mostly walks from place to place but that’s only in the summer, the idea of walking in this cold sends a shiver down her spine. She finds a parking spot nearby and makes her way over to the food trucks. It’s pretty iconic actually, she has no idea how this started but every Friday a market pops up, street performers come alive, artists display their works, a dozen food trucks make their residence to supply the hungry passer-byers. She likes it though. The creative expression. It’s not long before Jasper comes running to her side, decked out in winter garments ten times more than Clarke.

“God Jas, you’d think we are in the middle of a Siberian Front.”

“Listen here, Clarke. You well know how I feel about the cold. Leave me alone,” he pouts and it’s cute, Clarke shoves him with her shoulder and then focuses her attention back onto the food trucks.

“I don’t know about you Jas, but I am _starving_.”

Her stomach makes an audible growl at the words and they both laugh.

“I am definitely hungry too. What do you wanna eat, Clarke?”

“Waffles.”

Clarke sets off at the site of a waffle truck. She is like a lion stalking her prey. She is quick, so quick Jasper literally loses her. By the time he finds her again she has already ordered, she just smirks at his confused and annoyed expression as he rolls his eyes. Once he orders too, the pair wait until the man in the truck hands them their plates. They both find a table nearby and begin ravenously eating their breakfast. No room or time for talking. Only eating. Clarke lets out a triumphant and satisfied sigh as she finishes her last bite, syrup splashed around her mouth.

“Now that, was worth getting up for. Best waffles in the city.”

“100% agree with you there, Clarke.”

They sit at the table for a few minutes letting their stomachs settle from the rapid intake of food.

“So,” Jasper says breaking the silence, “how’s your girl.”

“She is not my girl!” Clarke snaps back.

“Okay, sure,” Jasper surrenders, “how is she seriously though, how are her injuries going?”

Clarke runs her hands through her hair, “surprisingly, very well. Her bruises are healing very nicely, with the help of concealing them with makeup of course. She is so damn talented with makeup, Jas she covered that shit so well, you couldn’t even tell she took a literal beating.”

Jasper laughs and shakes his head, “I didn’t realise she brought her makeup set to your place.”

“What? Oh, no. We met for coffee yesterday.”

Jasper’s eyes widen, “Uhm? What? Hello! Why was I not informed!”

“I’m sorry!” Clarke pleads playfully, “it was so quick, and then I had to rush to work. I literally didn’t check my phone until 9pm last night, it was why I didn’t respond to your texts or calls.”

“Yeah, that’s fair enough. I knew you were at work, so I didn’t hassle you any more than I did. Interesting you met with Lexa though, how was it?”

“Honestly. Natural. It felt so natural. I’m so comfortable around her, it’s weird. Especially since we only met a few days ago.”

“Yeah, you bonded over her getting smacked around. That’ll be a good story to tell your kids,” Jasper says jokingly but Clarke takes it seriously.

“Can you not joke about it like that. It was really hard to see. She was in _a lot_ of pain. It broke my heart, and I didn’t even know her at the time.

“You still hardly know her, Clarke.”

“Whose side are you on, Jasper?”

“Yours obviously. I may joke around about you and her, but I will also display concern for you. She is clearly making you happy, I don’t want you to get hurt,” Jasper’s voice goes quiet as he trails off the sentence and Clarke’s face softens.

“I know,” she smiles, “come on, let’s go walking around.”

She stands up grabbing his arm, so he does the same, and they start to weave through the food trucks until they are free. They make their way to the street and it’s so lively with loud music and people’s chattering. Clarke can feel the smile grow on her face as she breathes in all the different scents. The cold wintery smell, the residual smell of the food trucks behind them, the smell of the paints ahead of them. It’s all too much, in a good way. The pair walk through the street, admiring each street performer and musician they come across, enjoying their talent. Clarke marvels at the various different paintings she sees, exchanging words and compliments with the artists. Even though she is there with Jasper, all she can think about is how much Lexa would love this place, with all this art. She makes a mental note of wanting to bring her here. She knows Lexa would enjoy the paintings as much as she does, unlike Jasper who couldn’t care less for art. He only pays attention to art when its Clarke’s, being the supportive friend he is.

“Was your segment yesterday about Lexa?” Jasper says as the two of them continue their walk.

Clarke is shocked by the surreal comment.

“You heard it?”

“Yeah, I always tune into your station when I drive, your station plays some bangers. I just happened to be driving when your segment came on. It was pretty inspirational. I can only assume it was about Lexa entering your life.”

Clarke nods as they walk. She rubs her mittens together in an attempt that they will warm her hands up also.

“She’s different, Jas. Something about her is special. I know I only just met her, but I have never met anyone that has made me feel like this.”

“Do you think she feels the same?” Jasper says unwavering.

Clarke hums in thought, “honestly, I have no fucking clue. Which terrifies me.”

Jasper equally hums, “I really don’t know what to tell you, Clarke. Only you can make this discovery. Just keep doing what you’re doing and see what happens. If she shows any red flags, get out of there.”

Clarke nods. She is deep in thought as they continue walking through the district. She really does have no idea how Lexa feels. Probably nothing like Clarke does. She knows that. But there is something so delectable about hope, she can’t help it. They make their way to the markets and shuffle through each tent and stall seeing what they sell.

Jasper buys some little items here and there that strike his fancy, nothing really strikes Clarke however. Her mind is on other things.

Once they are through the market, they continue forwards until they stumble across an ice-cream van.

“Jasper, look!” Clarke says excitedly pointing to the van like a little kid.

“Clarke, no. It’s like, negative five million degrees.”

“Oh, stop being a dramatic, fun-sucking loser. It’s never too cold for ice-cream!”

“I am not a fun-sucker. Have you seen me?”

Clarke looks at Jasper who stands in front of her awkwardly with his mitts extended and a playful look on his face. He is so stiff from his 50 layers, he can barely move. Clarke just rolls her eyes and smiles.

“I’m getting ice-cream,” she says strutting towards the van.

The woman eagerly awaits the order as Clarke approaches the van with a massive grin on her face.

“Hi! Can I have one scoop of bubble-gum and one scoop of hazelnut,” she starts fumbling through her backpack for her purse, “oh! Both in cones please!”

The woman nods and begins preparing the ice-cream.

“Two ice-creams, huh? Fatty,” Jasper says laughing as he slips in next to her.

“The hazelnut is for you, idiot. I know it’s your favourite flavour.”

“Did I not just explain that it’s negative five million degrees,” Jasper rolls his eyes.

“You should know by now, if I’m getting ice-cream, you are too. No exceptions.”

He only nods as he well knows Clarke and her borderline ice-cream addiction. The woman hands out the two ice-creams which Jasper grabs, so Clarke can pay the woman in return. They exchange kind goodbyes and the pair set off again. Jasper hands Clarke her ice-cream and she audibly squeals, sinking her mouth into the cold gelato.

They are well passed fifth by now and are enjoying a nice stroll through one of the cities’ many parks. Her favourite park would have to be the one near the Aurelie though, mainly because the river runs through it. Clarke _loves_ the water, she’s never seen the ocean, so the river is the best thing she can get. There is an ocean about three hours away from the city, but Clarke doesn’t want to make the drive by herself. Jasper has seen the ocean more times than he can count, so he isn’t interested in accompanying Clarke.

Winter is beautiful. She marvels at the naked trees and the leaf buds crying for warmer weather, so they can stretch out. She soaks in the fresh feeling that comes with the crisp blue sky above and she drinks in the sunlight that kisses her skin. She’s enjoying all the little things, allowing herself to revel in every little moment. She alerts Jasper that they have to start heading back so she can get to work on time, and they do. The walk back to fifth is quick, and before she knows it they are back by the food trucks.

“Thank you for this morning, Jas. It was really nice and refreshing, good idea wanting to come here.”

“It’s cool, the waffles were totally the best part,” he laughs.

“Yeah, definitely not making you eat ice-cream in negative five million degrees,” Clarke laughs in response and pulls him in for a quick embrace before they say their official goodbyes and part ways.

Clarke hurries along to where her car is parked and makes her way over to the radio station, her radiator on full blast. When she arrives, she is half an hour early, she knows Nathan will get a kick out of it. She swipes her way through the building before she reaches the hallway to the live studio. The morning hosts still nattering away into their mics. To pass time, she walks up to the water cooler to get some water before being accompanied by Marcus.

“Clarke! What a surprise to see you here so early.”

“I’m gonna be honest. I’m surprised too.”

He laughs and proceeds to pour himself a cup from the cooler, “so good news, your feature on the segment took off.”

Clarke’s eyes widen, “seriously?”

“Yeah, I’m serious. It did surprisingly well!” he takes a sip from his cup, “you are welcome to say no to this but… would you like to officially make it your segment? You got a lot of positive responses from the listeners and they want to hear more. So much so, we will make it a daily thing, well in your case Wednesday to Friday.”

Clarke is speechless. She quite literally bullshitted that entire segment yesterday. But, she somehow really enjoyed it. She starts getting excited at the thought of speaking again today.

“Yeah, I’ll do it! I actually already know what to talk about today.”

“Great! Appreciated. You’re doing good work, Clarke.”

He extends his hand for a handshake which Clarke awkwardly reciprocates before he turns around to head back to his office.

“What was all that about?” Nathan says inquisitively as he sets his backpack down on the opposite wall to Clarke.

“I am now in charge of the real-talk segment,” Clarke says with a huge proud grin painted across her face.

“Real-talk huh? Did it get a name change?”

“Uh. It did now! Wanna know why?” she leans forward towards Nathan and whispers, “cause its mine.”

Nathan shakes his head and laughs. The morning hosts exit the room and exchange greetings between Nathan and Clarke. The pair get their things and make themselves comfortable in the live studio as a song plays through the headsets.

“Also, can you acknowledge my earliness,” Clarke says settling in her seat.

“See, I was going to, but I was more curious about what Marcus was saying to you,” he says as he copies Clarke’s actions, “proud of you, Griffin.”

“Thanks, Miller,” Clarke says smugly.

Once the song fades out, Nathan greets the listeners announcing that the afternoon session has commenced. Clarke and Nathan banter to each other in between songs, with the additional traffic report from Nathan and news report from Clarke. There are _so_ many papers that Clarke had to sift through in between songs, to make sure she got the news correct. Because believe me, she has got it wrong before.

Before she knows it, 5pm was upon them, and Clarke announces that it’s time for the new segment again, “… and can I thank each and every one of you that gave me positive feedback for yesterday’s talk. I was very overwhelmed, especially considering I had 0.5 seconds to prepare,” she laughs awkwardly, “due to high demand, I will be speaking again for today’s real-talk, new name by yours truly, and I am _actually_ somewhat prepared today!”

She takes a quick breath, Nathan is comfortably leaning back in his chair, clearly getting ready to enjoy whatever Clarke has to say.

“Today’s talk will be a bit different from yesterday’s, naturally. New day, new talk. I’d really like to talk about enjoying the little things in life. Every day is a blessing but today particularly struck me. I’m sure you have all noticed how beautiful the day is today, the blue sky we’ve been given. Granted, it is freaking freezing today, but the sun is _so_ nice. This morning I enjoyed some coffee by one of my window’s, revelling in the peace and quiet before my day officially started. I met up with a friend who took me to see the fifth district, which I _highly_ recommend you all go and see, I was really taken aback by how alive it was. I really enjoyed the atmosphere and all the talent scattered on the street. There are some amazing artists, street musicians and street performers there. I enjoyed the aromas of the foods and paints and even the winter air itself. I got my favourite ice-cream flavour, bubble-gum, and enjoyed a walk through one of our parks. It doesn’t matter what kind of circumstances you’re in, you can always appreciate the little things around you. And I don’t mean to come off as pretentious or anything, as I know exactly how hard it is to enjoy the little things when you’re going through it. I do. I’ve… yeah. It’s hard.

She takes a shaky breath before recollecting herself, “even so, I still tried to enjoy the little things that _did_ give me joy, and still do. Coffee with a friend. A morning stroll through the city. A nice sunset. It really does enhance your way of thinking and quality of life. Whatever you’re going through, you will get through it. Help yourself by finding joy in something small, every day. Even if it’s as small as enjoying a song, or how nice the sun feels in that moment.

10 minutes later, “… anyway, that is all we have time for today, unfortunately! If you’re still with us, thank you! I hope you’re enjoying your stay on FM96.5, get ready for the upcoming song, followed by another traffic report.”

The familiar sound fills her headset and Clarke takes it off slowly, placing it gently on the table. She takes another shaky breath.

Nathan leans forward on the table, “good job, Clarke. You’re doing well.”

Clarke looks up to meet his gaze and she smiles, nodding her head in thanks. Her throat is sore and dry from speaking so much, and with so much passion. The next 40 minutes flyby, and Clarke is quick to leave once the night hosts arrive.

She is so ready to cuddle up with some blankets on her sofa with the accompaniment of Kibbles. She exchanges good jobs and goodbyes with Nathan before speedily driving home. Once she enters her apartment she drops her backpack by the door and stretches out her muscles, already relaxing at the feeling of being home. She walks into her bedroom eager to get out of her jeans. She notices her bag from yesterday still resting intently against her bed.

“ _I should probably empty that,”_ she says to herself.

She picks it up and shakes it over bed with its contents spilling everywhere. Her eyes widen at the clothes that fall out. She almost forgot she let Lexa borrow her clothes and that she gave them back to her.

She delicately picks up the old shirt and brings it to her nose, it still smells like her. She bites her lip, she really wants to wear it. Would that be weird? Nah. No one can see. She quickly strips to her underwear and throws the shirt on followed by the pants. She stands awkwardly over her bed. Clarke feels weird wearing the clothes. She knows she is only wearing them because _she_ wore them. But the more she thinks about it, the more right and comfortable she feels. She gives herself a nod before putting the rest of her bag’s contents away.

She walks through to her living room, pulling out two blankets from under her coffee table before settling into her couch. She grabs her shirt and stares it for a while.

“Lexa Woods, hey?”

Clarke gets a thrill at the words as she remembers something.

“Oh my god, yes,” she stands up excitedly and grabs her laptop from her dining table, she quickly inputs ‘Alexandria Woods’ into the search bar. A list of photos, information, movies, and tv shows pop up.

“Woah,” Clarke says as she scrolls through the results. She stops at each photo she comes across, broadening from action shots to model shots. Clarke’s eyes widen at each one.

“This is crazy,” she says almost laughing to herself.

Each photo is beautiful. She is beautiful. Stunning even. Clarke can barely comprehend that she just went out to coffee with this woman. At the thought of everything that has happened with Lexa, she quite literally starts laughing at how crazy this all is. She scrolls back over to her movies, there are about four there. One is called ‘Parallax’ that caught Clarke’s fancy. The synopsis said it was about two people who got mixed up in a different reality and they had to find their way back. Looked cool.

Clarke gets herself up to find her HDMI cable to plug in between her laptop and tv. She also makes some popcorn while she’s at it. Once the microwave finished its humming, Clarke gets her bowl and presses play on her laptop before settling back down with her blanket mound.

The movie is gripping. Clarke was on the edge of her seat the entire time. Lexa is a _fantastic_ actress. Truly, she’s amazing. Maybe Clarke is just bias, but she can appreciate good acting when she sees it. Clarke can hardly get over the fact that she knows Lexa in real life. It’s surreal, she tells herself. Once the credits start rolling, Clarke takes a moment to take it all in. The storyline, the acting, the set, effects, VFX, makeup, costumes, wow it was all great.

Kibbles meows that it’s time for bed and Clarke couldn’t agree more. She moves out of the blanket pile and puts the empty popcorn bowl in her sink before giving Kibbles a goodnight scratch. She brushes her teeth and snakes into bed, already half asleep. She closes her eyes fully and thinks about what a damn good day she had today. The last thing she remembers thinking about before losing consciousness was Lexa’s smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me for the next chapter as I have now caught up with my story, so I am in the process of writing it :) won't take long though as I'm nearly finished. I think you're all going to love this next one. It's super gay. We love super gay. It's only gonna get gayer from here.


	8. Chapter Eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out, I’ve been busy preparing for Christmas and whatnot. BUT, this is a monster of a chapter, so I guess it makes up for it, right? I appreciate all the kind comments and support. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I wrote this chapter to ‘To All of You’ by Syd Matters.

Clarke’s body clock kicks into action and wakes her up at 8am, she quite happily remains in bed for another hour though. She capitalises on the fact that she has no morning plans, so she _can_ just relax. Kibbles makes his way into her room, loudly demanding pats. He climbs onto Clarke’s chest and purrs loudly when Clarke starts to rub her hands through his soft, ginger fur.

Clarke almost feels out of place at the fact that she _literally_ does have no plans set for the day, the past week has been so stupidly busy, she is used to being on her toes all the time. She glances out of her bedroom window, there are a few clouds in the sky, but it looks to be another beautiful day. Once Kibbles leaves her body to go curl up at the end of the bed, she sits upright and rubs at her weary eyes. She creeps slowly out of bed and makes her way to the bathroom, so she can relieve herself, before shuffling to her kitchen to make coffee.

Clarke works at preparing her coffee machine before staring at it for a while, letting out a loud grunt.

“I’m sick of this coffee,” she sighs.

She looks out of her living room window one more time, the clouds have started to gather more but the day still looks salvageable.

She nods to her own thoughts about going for a morning run to get coffee. She sets off back through her hallway and into her bedroom, opening her drawer that contains her gym gear. She strips off the night’s clothes and slips on her yellow exercise bra, followed by her black gym top. She ruffles through her clothes until she finds her black leggings and slips those on also before grabbing a yellow hoodie to throw over her top. She slips on her yellow jogging shoes and whips her short hair into a small bun at the back of her head.

She ventures to her side table to grab her earphones and her phone, switching out her blue phone case to the one that has a pocket where she can slip her credit card into. She pours some food into Kibbles’ bowl before leaving her apartment. It’s a lot warmer than yesterday, she knows it’s because of the clouds, it’s definitely going to rain today.

She puts her earphones in and starts a song before shoving her phone in the tight space between her leggings and her thigh. She sets off on her usual running route, it’s quite a lengthy one but she doesn’t get to run that much. When she does though, she thoroughly enjoys it. She loves the route she has made for herself, she likes to stick to the park routes, because they follow the water. Makes it for a more scenic run.

She sets herself a steady pace, she wants to lap the entire route before ending up at Lucy’s to get her coffee. She glides through the city streets, there are surprisingly quite a few people out and about for a Saturday morning. She doesn’t mind though as there is enough space on the path for everyone, her run is going smoothly until she nearly smacks into someone running around the same corner she is.

Clarke _just_ manages to dodge the person, rage sparking in her chest, “hey! Watch where you’re goi-,” Clarke’s eyes widen at the person who just recovered from nearly falling, rage equally flaring through their nostrils.

“Lexa?” Clarke says practically laughing, taking her earphones out.

Lexa’s eyes widen also, and her face softens before she starts laughing too.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you,” Clarke says instinctively pulling her into a quick embrace, and god does it feel good.

“Likewise! Good dodging skills you have there, Spider-Man,” Lexa says holding onto Clarke before letting go and putting a short distance in between the pair so they can look at each other.

Clarke quickly looks Lexa up and down. She too is clad in gym gear. Dark green jogging shoes, tight, _god so tight_ black leggings, and what looks to be a black gym top underneath a dark green sports jacket that fits her waist so fucking well. Slightly unzipped to just above her cleavage, exposing her perfect collar bones. Her long hair is tied up into a high ponytail and her cheeks are flushed pink from the exercise and the cold weather. She has light makeup on, consisting of some mascara and concealer for her bruising. Sweat has built up on her brow and pooled in the divot below her neck in between her collar bones, and Clarke has never been more turned on.

Clarke can tell that Lexa is noticing her stare as it shows on her face, Clarke needs to say something quickly before it gets too awkward.

“I didn’t know you ran,” Clarke blurts out stupidly.

“Well, of course you wouldn’t, Clarke,” Lexa laughs.

Clarke quite literally wants to punch herself in the face.

“I just started my run actually…” Lexa starts as she shifts her position, so she can lean onto her hip, “I’m afraid I am a bit lost, however. Considering I just moved here for the shoot, I have no idea where the best routes are. So… I just started running and now I’m here,” she chuckles and it’s utterly adorable.

It didn’t even cross Clarke’s mind that Lexa would have had to have moved here recently for the film. She just assumed Lexa lived here. God, there is so much she _doesn’t_ know about Lexa. And boy, does she want to find out.

“Why don’t you come with me on my run? I have a route that I always do, you might like it,” she bites at her lip, “It’s a tad long but it’s pretty. In my opinion. I was originally going for a run to get coffee afterwards from Lucy’s if you want to do that too. I’ve been craving it ever since we went the other day.”

Clarke visibly blushes as she awaits Lexa’s response, she hopes that her face is equally flushed from the exercise so that her blush blends in unnoticed.

“I would love to accompany you, Clarke.”

Clarke’s grin grows wide across her face and Lexa gestures for Clarke to lead the way, and she does. They silently jog through the city streets for a decent amount of time until they break free of the concrete jungle. Lexa jogs a little slower than Clarke, but she happily adjusts her speed to match.

The city she lives in really is beautiful. They jog over a _huge_ bridge and onto a pathway next to the river, the pathway lined with trees, beautiful even in their nudity. Lexa abruptly stops her jog to lean up against the pathway’s stone railing to look out at the view.

Clarke catches on quick to the missing presence beside her and halts her jog too, making her way back over to Lexa who leans adamantly against the railing, green eyes sparkling brightly, a smile knitting over her plush lips. She looks completely captivated by the scenery in front of her, and Clarke knows this is another canvas moment. 

“It’s beautiful,” Lexa breathes as Clarke slips into the space next to her, copying her actions on the railing.

Clarke won’t deny the view is beautiful, because it is. The city itself is beautiful, crystal clear skyscrapers span the horizons, a deep blue river flowing through it, stone railings coating the edges of the river, trees lining every pathway. It’s so stupidly beautiful in the Fall when the leaves turn orange. As much as Clarke _does_ enjoy the view, the only beautiful view she can’t take her eyes off of is Lexa. Eyes sparkling so bright.

“I’ve seen many cities,” she says breaking the silence, “but this one is special.”

Clarke bites at her lip, “I would have thought you’d hate the city after your experience at the beginning of the week.”

Lexa lowers her head at the memory, “for a while, I did. But I told myself that a city is not defined by its people. I was scared to leave my apartment after you took me home, I stayed in solitary confinement that night, I didn’t even want to do anything the following day. Until you asked me for coffee. I was anxious, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to leave yet. But… somehow, you make me feel safe. If I was to break free from my fear, I should do it with someone I am comfortable with, and if I _am_ to be here for a while, I need to learn to enjoy the city. Otherwise my time here will be miserable, I cannot allow that.”

Clarke looks up at Lexa and goes crimson. Lexa comes across as such a sturdy and strong woman, the idea of her being afraid and anxious makes Clarke’s stomach drop. Clarke already knows that Lexa doesn’t allow herself to be vulnerable with just anyone. Circumstance made Lexa have no choice, but even now, Lexa still confides in her. Clarke only nods her head, because what she is saying does make logical sense.

“That’s very mature of you, Lexa.”

Lexa breaks her outward stare to lock with the blue, and she nods softly.

“You should see it in the Fall,” Clarke begins, “it’s even more breathtaking. I haven’t been to any other cities, but I know for a fact that this one is more beautiful than the rest,” Clarke says with pride as she stares back out.

Lexa lets out a hearty laugh at the girl’s comment, “I however _have_ been to many cities, and I can already agree with you, Clarke,” she takes an audible sigh, “besides, this city has the Aurelie, so it’s already the finest.”

Clarke jerks at the words and turns to face Lexa fully who is startled by Clarke’s sudden movement.

“You know about the Aurelie?”

Lexa chuckles, “of course I do! You of all people know how much I appreciate art. I remember being ecstatic when I was told that the filming would take place here, because I knew I’d _finally_ be able to visit the gallery, I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but I will.”

Clarke wants to scream _“LET ME TAKE YOU THERE!”_

But she is interrupted by someone running towards them, yelling Lexa’s name.

“Lexa!” The voice booms as a woman hugs Lexa from the side, nearly knocking her over.

Clarke… recognises this woman? But where from?

“Oh my god, Raven!” Lexa says turning to face the brunette fully, and they embrace again quickly before pulling away to look at each other.

“You weren’t at the readings yesterday?” Lexa says still riding her wave of joy.

“Eh yeah, I couldn’t make it as I hurt my ankle a few days ago and I wanted to make sure it was good for next week. Besides, I don’t need to go to readings, I’ll nail it on the day. What can I say? I’m a badass.”

They both burst into laughter and Clarke awkwardly watches the interaction.

“Who’s this?” Raven says gesturing over to Clarke.

“Oh! I’m sorry. Raven this is Clarke, Clarke this is Raven,” Lexa turns more towards Clarke, gesturing to Raven, “she’s one of my co-stars for the film, we’ve worked together before on another film a few years back and it was such a pleasure. So, I’m excited we get to work together again,” Lexa says smacking Raven’s arm playfully and she just grins in return.

Raven… filming... Raven… Raven Reyes? Parallax!

Clarke’s eyes widen at the lightbulb that went off in her head, she nearly blurts out the discovery and fan over how good the film was, and how great their acting was, but she holds her tongue. She has embarrassed herself enough as it is, she _has_ to keep her cool.

“That’s cool,” Clarke says a little too nonchalantly.

Lexa’s brow furrows and she turns back to Raven who still has the cheesiest smile painted across her face. She pulls Lexa back into a hug who was so unprepared for it, she stands there like a stick as the other girl squeezes at her sides.

“How awesome is my role? I get to be a mechanic!” Raven grins excitedly, letting the poor girl go.

Lexa smiles back, “very awesome, Raven. It’s honestly the perfect part for you.

Raven has a smug look on her face before turning back to Clarke and she squints her eyes with suspicion.

“You better not tell a soul about any of this, otherwise I might have to throw your body into this river,” Raven says, and Clarke can’t tell if she is joking or not.

“Okay damn, ease up,” Lexa laughs awkwardly holding a hand up to Raven, “she won’t tell anyone anything, trust me.”

Raven moves her suspicious eyes from Clarke to Lexa and studies her face before softening it and smiling into a nod.

“What are you doing walking around so early?” Lexa says to Raven.

“Well, my ankle was feeling a lot better and I thought I’d test it out and go for a walk. It’s still a bit sore though.”

Lexa gives her a sympathetic smile.

Raven walks over to the two girls and slaps them both on the back simultaneously, “so, how’d you two meet?”

Lexa’s eyes widen, and she turns to Clarke with embarrassment and fear in her eyes. Clarke instantly knew what Lexa was trying to communicate with her, she doesn’t want anyone to know what happened, about her moment of weakness.

“Well,” Clarke begins, “I wasn’t watching where I was going, and I bumped into her on the street, making her drop some papers. She was furious, and I helped her gather everything, and I bought her a drink to apologise. Then we ran into each other again this morning and decided to go for a run together.”

Clarke sounded so convincing with her lie, even Lexa was shocked. Raven completely bought it.

“Sounds like Lexa to throw a fit over some papers,” Raven laughs, “good job letting you take her out though, you must be special, she doesn’t trust easily.”

Lexa looks at Raven with a glare, urging her to stop and Clarke picks up on it.

“Anywhooooo,” Raven begins, “I’m gonna let you two continue your run, I’m going home.”

Raven pulls Lexa in for another embrace and waves Clarke goodbye before turning the other way. Lexa sighs audible relief when Raven is out of sight.

“Are you okay?” Clarke says with concern in her voice.

Lexa only nods before saying, “thank you… For not telling the truth. I don’t like people to see or know me at my weakest.

“I know.”

Lexa is completely taken aback by the girl’s comment. How does this girl – who she met a few days ago – already know her so well?

“Raven seems nice,” Clarke laughs, interrupting Lexa’s thoughts.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Raven is quite the character, you can’t help but love her attitude,” Lexa softly returns the laugh, “shall we continue?”

Clarke nods and the pair set off again on the running route. The clouds have well blanketed the sky, and Clarke fears that they won’t make it to Lucy’s before the rainfall. And she was right.

It doesn’t just patter, it _pours_. Both girls burst into laughter at the sudden downpour and run to the nearest and largest tree to provide cover.

“It’s cold!” Lexa yells over the rain.

“I think it’s nice!” Clarke yells back and Lexa rolls her eyes.

“This tree is doing nothing!” Lexa looks up and laughs as the water pours down her face.

Clarke giggles, “yeah, it’s getting pretty bad!”

Once Clarke had finished her sentence, a _loud_ crack of lighting rips through the sky, making the girl’s jump out of their skin. Lexa looks absolutely horrified, and it shows on her face as she withdraws closer to the tree’s trunk.

“Are you okay?” Clarke yells over the rain.

Lexa shakes her head, wide eyed, petrified. Clarke moves in closer to her, is she scared of lighting? Clarke notices her breathing change, eyes fixated on the ground.

“Lexa?” Clarke moves in closer, but Lexa is completely unresponsive.

Her breathing becoming more violent and panicked as every second goes on. Clarke knows what’s going on, because she has them all the time. Clarke is quick to close the distance between the two girls, cupping Lexa’s face in her hands, “hey.”

Lexa still stares at the ground, another crack of lighting rips ferociously through the sky.

“ _Fuck, this is bad,”_ Clarke says to herself, “ _I have to get us out of this storm.”_

“Hey, Lexa,” Clarke says, hands still cupping the brunette’s soft cheeks, “look at me.”

Clarke blinks rapidly at the water running down her face, Lexa barely flinching at the contact. A loud grumble of thunder echoes through the air, followed by another loud crack of lighting.

“Lexa,” Clarke gently lifts the girl’s chin, so they are eye level, her emerald eyes piercing her cerulean, her eyes are blank, empty, clearly somewhere else.

“Come back to me,” Clarke says staring at the girl.

Clarke desperately tries to help Lexa out of her trance, “Lexa, come back to me.”

Lexa’s gaze falls to Clarke’s lips, trying to hone in on the sound. This is good, Clarke hopes that if anything, Lexa can focus on Clarke’s voice.

“Feel my hands, I’m here.”

Lexa absentmindedly raises her hands to grab onto Clarke’s, who is still cupping the girl’s cheeks.

“See? I’m here. I’m real, and I’m here.”

Lexa’s gaze shift from her lips back up to her eyes.

“You’re okay,” Clarke repeats, “I’m here.”

Clarke repeats those words a few times until, “Alexandria!”

Lexa quite literally snaps out of it and comes to, Clarke can see the vacancy being filled in her eyes.

“Clarke?”

Another crack of lighting ripples through the sky, making Lexa withdraw into Clarke who is quick to hold onto her.

“We have to move, we have to get out of here, come on,” Clarke says grabbing Lexa’s hand, so they can move out of their statutory state and begin their jog to safety. Both girl’s blinking rapidly at the rain, trying to shield their eyes by raising their hands to their brow, but it barely provides any protection against rain this fierce.

“We are really close to my apartment, come on, this way!” Lexa says setting off in the direction of her apartment, and Clarke follows.

She wasn’t wrong, they were _very_ close to her apartment, in fact they had nearly completed Clarke’s circuit considering Lucy’s was just a few blocks away. They run quickly over to Lexa’s complex, trying their best to ignore the lighting storm going on above them. God, it was so fucking loud. Clarke would be lying if she wasn’t petrified herself, but she had to steel herself, if not for herself, for Lexa. Lexa quickly opens the door to her complex and the pair make their way up the stairs before reaching Lexa’s door who opens it quickly and pushes the two of them inside.

Once the door is closed, Lexa moves to brace herself over her marble kitchen countertop, breathing shaky breaths. Lexa’s clothes and hair dripping profusely over the countertop. Clarke slowly makes her way over and raises a gentle hand to the brunette’s shoulder, “can I do anything?”

Lexa shakes her head, not breaking her gaze from the marble, “you’ve done more than enough, Clarke,” she sighs deeply, “thank you for getting me home safety.”

Clarke looks at her sympathetically. Clarke has most definitely had her fair share of panic attacks throughout her life, specifically after her father’s death. It’s also why she can never talk about her father, because generally a panic attack follows. Clearly something bad happened to Lexa, lighting must be a trigger. Clarke doesn’t press the matter though, she knows better not to.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa says shifting her gaze from the marble to the cerulean, dark wet hair plastered to her scalp. Her concealer dripping away, revealing her light bruises.

“What for?”

“For that. You should not have seen me like that.”

“It’s okay, really.”

Lexa shakes her head, her plump lips quiver slightly, “no, it’s not. It’s not okay in the slightest,” she takes a breath, “something... something happened to my par-,”

“It’s okay,” Clarke says shaking her head, “you don’t need to explain yourself.”

Lexa looks at her with appreciation in her eyes and nods in thanks. The kitchen floor is slowly becoming a swimming pool and both the girl’s notice.

“We need to get out of these clothes,” Lexa says unzipping and undressing her soaked sports jacket, revealing her toned biceps, and taut figure. Her gym top sticking _tightly_ to her waist, outlining every muscle, from her arms, to her stomach, to her legs.

God, does Clarke swoon at the sight. Getting soaked was totally worth it for a sight like that, and she is most _definitely_ soaked in more ways than one right now.

“Um, yes, definitely,” Clarke says quickly breaking her gaze away from the chiselled goddess in front of her.

“Would you like to shower? While I clean this up?”

“That would be amazing, yes please,” Clarke says almost begging, the idea of a hot shower sounds so fucking good right now. Clarke won’t admit it, but she is freezing.

Lexa nods and stiffly moves out of the kitchen area, stepping in puddles as she does. She guides Clarke to her bathroom and she is sure she heard her mouth drop to the floor as she enters.

The bathroom is _massive_. A large rain shower in the far-left corner, a pristine, white tub in the far-right corner. A beautiful marble sink and to the right of the door. The room is bigger than Clarke’s bedroom. Is this what luxury is like? Clarke doesn’t even have a bath tub, let alone a _rain_ shower for crying out loud. Boy, does Clarke get excited at the thought of standing in that shower though.

“There are towels in that cabinet over there,” Lexa says pointing over to the white cabinet next to the sink.

Clarke only nods in thanks and Lexa closes the door behind her as she exits. Clarke eagerly strips off her wet clothes. She very much regrets wearing a hoodie, it is definitely the most unpleasant thing to wear when it rains. Her phone somehow moved from her leggings to her hoodie pocket during the run through the rain, it’s a miracle it still functions. She moves to place the phone and earphones atop the cabinet before taking off her hoodie and dropping it to the ground with a slump. She peels off her gym top before lifting off her sports bra too. She then removes her shoes and socks before proceeding to peel off her sticky leggings and underwear. She drops everything onto the wet clothes pile she has created in the middle of the room. Lastly, she unstraps her watch and places it next to her phone.

She moves to step into the shower, marvelling at how much space she has.

“This is ridiculous,” she breathes to herself.

Truthfully, in this moment, she really isn’t going to complain. She eagerly works at the taps until hot water flows from the showerhead. God, does it feel amazing. She unties her hair, wincing at the pain as she pulls at the tie. Lord knows how painful it is to untie wet hair.

She lets the warm water soak through after, easing the pain. She could quite happily stand in this shower for the rest of her life.

She finds Lexa’s soaps and shampoos and quickly begins working the shampoo through her hair. Clarke takes a moment to breathe in the scent of the shampoo, it’s utterly divine. No wonder Lexa smells amazing every time they meet. Which has been like, three times. She quickly works at the body wash too, scrubbing away all the dirt and rain. By the time she turns the tap off, she feels more rejuvenated then she ever has in her whole life.

She steps out of the shower and grabs a towel from the cabinet and works at drying herself before biting at her lip at a realisation. She has no clothes to change into. And she _definitely_ does not want to change back into her wet gym gear. She cringes at the sight of the offensive wet pile in the middle of the room.

She wraps the white towel around her body and goes to open the bathroom door, stepping out into the large living room. She moves through until she reaches the kitchen where she sees Lexa slaving away at the puddles with towels.

Clarke clears her throat slightly to grab Lexa’s attention and she looks up. Her mouth parts when she sees Clarke standing above her in nothing but a towel.

“Can I…,” Clarke bites at her lip, “maybe borrow some clothes?”

Lexa continues to stare at the blonde, looking her up and down once more before breaking her gaze stands up, “of course, Clarke.”

Lexa moves past Clarke in a hurry, trying to avoid looking at Clarke again. Clarke just waits patiently as Lexa finds clothes for her to wear. Moments later, Lexa returns with a pile of clothes in her hands, which Clarke takes graciously.

“Life really is a full circle,” Clarke says staring down at the clothes in her arms.

Lexa only cocks her head to the side in confusion.

Clarke laughs awkwardly, “well not long ago _I_ was the one having to let you borrow my clothes, and now I’m having to borrow yours.”

“Funny how the world works, I guess,” Lexa replies averting her eyes, clothes still dripping and sticking to her body. She clearly looks uncomfortable, but she is trying her best not to show it.

Clarke feels instantly guilty that Lexa is still in her wet clothes, she nods in thanks and sets off quickly back to the bathroom and closes the door behind her. She takes the towel off and hangs it on one of the racks, then goes to inspect the clothes set she was given. She picks up some very comfortable looking grey sweatpants which she pulls on quickly, sighing at the soft material. She picks up the shirt and inspects it, it’s a tatty, old white and green UCLA shirt. Clarke’s eyes widen at the material.

_Lexa studied at UCLA? Is she perfect?_

Clarke slips on the shirt and sighs at how warm and comfortable she feels. She is literally wearing Alexandria Wood’s clothes. Clarke did _not_ think that this was how her day was going to go. She goes to cabinet and slips on her father’s watch: 1pm.

 _“Wow, today is going by so slowly,”_ Clarke thinks to herself and grabs her phone also.

 “Shit, I should really let Lexa shower and warm up,” she says as she remembers the poor girl probably still slaving away at the puddles.

At that, Clarke opens the bathroom door and sets back out to the kitchen where Lexa is idly waiting, leaning against the countertop with her back away from Clarke.

“I’m sorry I took so long,” Clarke says biting her lip, “thanks for the clothes.”

Lexa turns with her eyes widening at the sight of the girl dressed in her clothes. Her face softens, and she smiles softly, “they suit you, Clarke.”

Clarke returns the smile, “please go warm up and get out of those clothes, I feel uncomfortable _for_ you.”

“Will you be okay out here if I shower?”

“Of course! I have your grandmother’s paintings to keep me company,” Clarke smiles.

The words pull a huge smile across Lexa’s face and Clarke practically collapses at the sight. She truly does have the most beautiful smile Clarke has ever seen.

Lexa begins to move, and Clarke quickly adds in, “I totally just left my clothes in the middle of your floor, can I go… put them anywhere?”

Lexa giggles, “I will take care of them, Clarke. Full circle, right?”

Clarke bites her lip as Lexa moves past her in the direction of her bedroom. This is the most otherworldly experience Clarke has ever been had. Clarke loiters around the kitchen until she hears the bathroom door close and she exhales, not realising she has been holding her breath this entire time. Clarke won’t deny that she _does_ feel awkward in Lexa’s apartment. It’s so foreign. So… fancy. She looks out at the sliding doors across the room and sees that the rain is still pouring torrentially. She moves over in the direction of the doors and peers out of the glass, surveying the area. It’s not quite as satisfying as Clarke imagined, but she knows that’s because she can hardly see 5 feet in front of her. She can still hear the distant grumbles of thunder outside.

She hears the shower turn on and Clarke moves to sit on Lexa’s leather couch, which is a lot more comfortable than she originally thought. Clarke notices that she too has blankets under her coffee table, and Clarke goes to wrap herself up in one. She is now the epitome of the word ‘content.’ The more she sits there in silence, the more her mind starts buzzing with the events that had just occurred. It _was_ really scary out there; the lighting was so dangerously close and so fucking loud. Clarke didn’t even think she would be able to get both her and Lexa out safely. She was so thankful that Lexa’s apartment was close, otherwise they would have had to have drip-dried in some poor soul’s shop for a few hours until the rain had passed, which doesn’t look like it will for a _long_ time.

Her heart aches for Lexa, she was so scared. In the short while that they _have_ known each other, she has pretty much been forced into a place of vulnerability with Clarke, which mustn’t be easy for her at all. Clarke knows weakness isn’t something Lexa likes to show lightly. Clarke on the other hand, doesn’t mind showing weakness or opening up about her feelings and emotions, unless it’s her dad of course. Clarke would _love_ to tell Lexa about her father, maybe that way they could be even, but the idea sends Clarke into a panic already, she can’t do it. Not yet. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Lexa… it’s just, not something she can talk about easily.

Clarke went mute for a good amount of time after Jake’s passing, her mom thought she would never come out of it, but Jasper had his ways of coaxing her out. Anya too. They were both so supportive and so patient with Clarke, they helped her through a lot of the grief, and they know above all how hard it is for Clarke to speak about her father.

Clarke was definitely curious about what Lexa was going to say about her parents, but if Lexa was to tell her, Clarke wanted it to be because _Lexa_ wanted to, not because she felt like she owed Clarke an explanation.

Clarke jumped at the sound of the bathroom door opening behind her and she spun around on the couch instinctively, looking towards the sound. Out comes Lexa, shaking out her wet hair, in nothing but boxers and a black sports bra. Clarke quite literally short circuits right then and there. Clarke looks her up and down, staring at the sight of Lexa’s borderline abs, her toned arms and her toned legs. Her toned fucking everything. Clarke is so happy that she is has a blanket wrapped around her because she could feel her nipples harden under her shirt and she is well aware of the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath her shirt.

Lexa finally looks up from shaking her hair out and meets Clarke’s gaze, who is still well and truly staring, she won’t deny it.

Lexa smiles, “I’m going to attend to our clothes, then I’ll be right out.”

Clarke only nods her head and watches Lexa turn around to pick up the huge clothes pile on the bathroom floor. Clarke is nearly undone at the sight of Lexa’s muscled back, already fantasising about digging her fingernails into those shoulders. Is she an angel? Like honestly? Did God just chisel her and send her down to earth to show society what perfection looked like? She watches Lexa walk out of the bathroom with their clothes and down her corridor into what must be her laundry. Clarke honestly contemplates having another shower at this point.

A few minutes pass before Lexa comes walking back through, still wearing her boxers but now wearing a navy t-shirt over her sports bra.

“Thank you for doing that, Lexa,” Clarke says hiding her disappointment at the brunette’s new garment.

“Of course, Clarke. You did it for me, it’s only fair,” she replies walking past the couch and into the kitchen, “not saying that I wouldn’t have done it anyway, because I would have.”

Clarke laughs, “I know.”

Lexa smiles over her marble countertop and then looks to the floor, “what a mess we have made,” she says jokingly but Clarke feels a pang of guilt.

“Can I help in any way?”

“I can handle it, thank you though.”

“I also hope you don’t mind that I took one of your blankets, they’re very soft and comfortable.”

Lexa smiles, “I don’t mind at all, make yourself at home. Can I make you a drink? Hot chocolate?”

Clarke’s mouth waters instantaneously at the words, “god, yes please.”

Lexa smiles into a nod and begins preparing the hot chocolate, Clarke watches her work for a while before getting up off the couch, still holding the blanket around her. She makes her way around the couch and back to the wall with the paintings, wanting to inspect them one more time.

Her grandmother really was such a talented artist. Clarke studies each one before moving along the wall, taking them in like it was the first time she’d laid eyes on them. Clarke is so enraptured by the art, she doesn’t even notice or feel Lexa’s adoring stare on her from the kitchen while she works. Clarke stares at each of the paintings for a few minutes, taking in the details while she can. After some time, she feels Lexa slide into the space next to her who holds two steaming mugs of chocolatey goodness.

Lexa holds out one of the mugs and Clarke takes it graciously.

“It’s my own recipe, so be nice,” Lexa says eyeing Clarke before sipping at her own mug.

“Oh really?” Clarke says dryly as she brings the mug to her lips, letting some of the liquid slide down her throat.

Clarke’s eyes widen as her tastebuds soak in the hot drink.

“Holy shit.”

“Good, right?” Lexa says with a huge grin sprawled across her face.

“That’s an understatement,” Clarke says taking another sip, throwing her head back in delight, “is there _anything_ you can’t do?”

Lexa tilts her head and scrunches her face up in thought, humming teasingly.

“Jackass,” Clarke says rolling her eyes playfully.

The pair make their way back over to the couch and settle atop it, continually sipping at their beverage.

“This is some seriously weird déjà vu,” Clarke says interrupting the silence.

“It is rather strange that we have ended up in this state of affairs, again.”

“Full circle,” Clarke smiles into her cup as she looks into the girl’s green eyes.

Lexa smiles, “full circle.”

The girl’s share a comfortable silence as they finish their drinks. Clarke will happily admit that she has never reached this level of comfort before in her entire life. Freshly showered, wearing Lexa’s clothes, wrapped up in a blanket, with hot chocolate in hand, on a couch with Lexa Woods. Yeah, life can only go downhill from here.

Lexa looks up and stares out at her glass doors and sighs, “it looks like the rain isn’t easing up.”

Clarke doesn’t bother to turn her head, she only hums in response.

“I anticipated it was going to rain today, but not to this extent, I especially didn’t anticipate that insane thunderstorm.”

Lexa freezes at the words.

“God, sorry,” Clarke says with regret.

Lexa shakes her head, “it’s fine, Clarke. I’m fine.”

Clarke feels guilty all over, and it shows on her face.

“Again, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to have seen me like that,” Lexa says furrowing her brow.

“Don’t be. I’m just glad I was there. I’m happy it was me.”

Lexa looks up at Clarke who continues, “I have panic attacks a lot too, I know they’re embarrassing, but don’t be embarrassed with me, you don’t need to be.”

Lexa is taken aback by Clarke’s words. She wants to lunge out and hug her again like she did when Clarke had saved her. She expected Clarke to laugh at her, or poke at her, like others have done in the past. She remembers a time on set once, back when she just started her acting career, where her character was running around in bad weather, trying to find shelter – which was an abandoned car. She knew the rain and thunder was man-made, but everything was so new, it just triggered something inside of her. She started having a panic attack on set and the crew had no idea what to do, she could hear some of the cast muttering and giggling to each other off to the side. It was horrible. Her walls only fortified more after that incident. So yeah, Clarke was something truly special, something out of a dream to Lexa. She is so kind and caring, _genuinely_ caring. But… as nice as this feels, it scares her, more than the thunderstorm today. Lexa doesn’t want to get too close or too attached, she has been burned _way_ too many times. Her walls need to stay up. Yeah, the walls stay up. The feelings have to go.

Lexa agrees with herself in her head and simply musters a, “thank you, Clarke.”

Clarke nods softly in response before Lexa continues, “did you… did you call me Alexandria before?”

Clarke feels prickles spreading across her entire body, “you don’t remember?”

The brunette’s brow furrows in thought and shakes her head slightly, “I do, and I don’t. It’s difficult to explain. I remember grabbing your hands, and you saying that you were there, and then when you called me Alexandria.”

Clarke bites at her lip, “I did, yeah. I thought it would grab your attention more.”

Lexa softens her face, “well it did, no one ever calls me that. I would have thought you would have forgotten my full-name.”

Clarke scoffs at the words. As if _she_ could forget a name as beautiful as fucking _Alexandria_ , like even the name sounds like it belongs to an angel.

“I could never forget a name like that.”

Lexa’s cheeks go pink at the words, accentuating what’s left of her bruises, Clarke is actually surprised at how well they _were_ healing and wants to make it known, “your bruises… they are healing so quickly?”

Lexa is surprised at the sudden change in conversation but realises what Clarke was talking about and lets out of a soft chuckle, “yeah, they’re satisfactory. I’ve been applying that cream you gave to me, every day. It appears to be working wonders.”

Clarke is flattered at the fact that Lexa is _actually_ using the cream. She didn’t think that the girl would use it, it was more a friendly gesture. They exchange more smiles before Clarke’s phone goes off with a notification. She picks it up and glances at the name on the lock-screen and smiles, she hasn’t spoken to her mother since that night where she practically freaked out on her.

_Mom: Hey honey! I was just thinking about you and realised we haven’t spoken in ages. I miss you. Can we catch up? Are you free now for a late lunch?_

Clarke bites at her lip in thought, she really hasn’t seen her mother in ages, her work schedule is _all_ over the place. She should really capitalise on the moment while it’s there.

_Yeah, mom. I’m free, sounds good, I miss you too. Where do you want to meet?_

_Mom: Arkadia? They do really nice soups and damnit, I want a soup._

Clarke laughs at her mom’s response.

_I’ll be there in 30._

Clarke turns around to peer outside of the doors, the rain has somewhat softened since she last glanced out.

“Everything okay, Clarke?”

Clarke swallows a lump of guilt, she didn’t even realise how rude she was being on her phone with Lexa staring patiently for her to finish.

“I’m sorry, it was my mom. She wants to meet for lunch,” she begins, “which is a nice surprise because we hardly ever have time for each other with her doing shift work all the time. She does her best though,” Clarke smiles at the thought of her mother.

Lexa’s face softens as she listens to Clarke fawn over her mother, “you should get going then, I’ll drive you home.”

“What? No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I insist, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles as Lexa extends her hand to take Clarke’s empty mug and she gets up off the couch before pacing over to her kitchen. She drops the mugs into her sink before walking back over to her corridor and into her bedroom. Clarke can only imagine what her bedroom would like if the rest of her apartment looks like… _this._ Clarke goes back into Lexa’s bathroom to get a hold of her saturated shoes and socks and reluctantly secures them back onto her feet. Clarke cringes in place before walking back out into the living room and Lexa returns wearing sweatpants and a grey hoodie. She extends a white one to Clarke, “put this on, it’s cold outside and I don’t want you getting sick.”

Clarke is taken aback by the kind gesture, and it shows on her face. Lexa is so thoughtful and kind. Who is she? Truly, who is this girl? Clarke’s heart sinks remembering that she quite literally drove the girl home still in a t-shirt at the beginning of the week, and here she is, making sure Clarke is warm before they make the trip home.

Clarke laughs nervously as she takes the hoodie and puts it on over her shirt, and my god is it comfortable. Lexa’s scent practically radiating off it.

“Thank you, Lexa. You’re really kind, you know that?”

Lexa smiles and looks down at her feet, “hardly,” she looks back up, “let’s get going.”

Clarke nods, and the pair set off out of her apartment and down the complex’s stairwell. The rain has come to a considerable stop, not completely but it’s not heavy enough to drench them upon exit. Clarke thanks the heavens that Lexa’s car is parked quite close to the entrance. Clarke follows Lexa closely as she leads them over to her car, a pristine looking black Audi.

_Wow._

Lexa opens Clarke’s door for her before moving to the other side and getting into the driver’s seat herself. Clarke feels wealthier than she ever has in her entire life. She sinks comfortably into the leather, brushing her hands along the clean dashboard.

“This is a beautiful car,” she breathes as Lexa turns on her car and pulls out of the parking spot.

Lexa nods, “thank you, Clarke.”

The car trip is mostly silent besides the directions given by Clarke. This is some truly super weird déjà vu shit. Lexa seems to think the same as she looks over to Clarke and the pair burst out into laughter at the realisation that everything is working out exactly the same way as it did at the start of the week.

Lexa pulls into where Clarke’s complex is, stopping right in front of the door, Clarke unbuckles her seatbelt and turns to Lexa, “thank you for taking me home, and for the clothes, and the hot chocolate, and the shower.”

_And existing._

“Of course, Clarke. It was my pleasure.”

Clarke bites at her lip in thought before saying, “are you free tomorrow?”

Lexa cocks her head in thought, “I believe so, why?”

Clarke feels her palms sweat a little, “can I take you to see the Aurelie?”

At the words, Lexa’s eyes sparkle tenfold to what they did by the river, a smile breaking out across her face in excitement.

 “You’d take me?”

Clarke nods and Lexa adds, “why?”

“Because,” Clarke scrunched her nose up at the thought of what’s waiting there for her, Lexa seems to notice and her eyes squint in playful suspicion, “because I know you love art, and I love art, and you haven’t seen the gallery yet, I have. I can be your guide.”

Lexa smiles and nods her head and Clarke lets off a victorious grin before opening her door and stepping out, “I’ll text you when,” she says turning back to face Lexa.

“Okay,” she replies before Clarke closes the door and makes her way into her complex.

Clarke is once again on cloud nine as she winds up her stairs and approaches her apartment door. She giggles to herself as she can hear Kibbles’ muffled complaints through the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she says as she slides her key through the lock and opens the door.

She goes to pick up her cat and closes the door behind her, she drops her phone and keys on her kitchen countertop and continues to stroke away at the ball of ginger fluff in her arms. She slumps on her couch and exhales, Kibbles standing up to rub himself over her face and she chuckles at the feeling. Clarke sinks into her second-hand couch, taking in the interior around her, it’s definitely nothing like Lexa’s, but Clarke is happy here, it’s homely for her.

_Lunch._

Clarke quickly shakes her thoughts and stands up, Kibbles’ dropping to the floor. She doesn’t have long till her mom starts calling her explaining how she is late and that time is precious. She definitely doesn’t want another one of _those_ lectures. Clarke makes her way down her hallway and into her bedroom where she works at her drawers to find some underwear and a bra to put on. She reluctantly strips her clothes to put on her undergarments, and slips on her light blue jeans from the other day, followed by Lexa’s UCLA shirt and white hoodie, because she may as well utilise the clothes while she has them, right?

She brings the hoodie up to her nose, and admittedly goes weak at the knees as she inhales Lexa’s comforting scent. Clarke throws the sweatpants on her bed to deal with later and goes to put on fresh socks and secures some white converse onto her feet before setting off back through to the kitchen. She shoves her phone into her back-pocket and grabs her keys, yelling a goodbye to Kibbles before locking the door behind her.

She jogs down her stairs with a pep in her step, and walks out to where her car is parked, promptly hopping inside and starting her drive to Arkadia to meet her mother.

It’s a quick drive to Arkadia, maybe a 10-minute drive? Yeah, something like that. It’s over the bridge anyway. It’s still raining, but not nearly as severely as it did before. She finds a spot around the corner from the restaurant and parallel parks her dusty vehicle, her old car is _nothing_ like Lexa’s car. But, it’s a car, with a working radiator, so what’s there to complain about?

Clarke slinks out of her car and runs for the cover of the street shops, shielding her eyes from the pattering rain. She turns back to her car and clicks a button on her keys effectively locking it before she starts moving along the edge of the street and around the corner into Arkadia.

The restaurant is surprisingly rather busy for 3pm, but she spots her mother’s sweet face almost immediately, and Abby’s eyes meet hers straight away.

“Clarke!” She yells over the sea of people and Clarke smiles as she walks over to her mother who is getting out of her seat to greet her daughter.

“Mom,” they both pull each other in for a long embrace, god it really has been too long.

The pair pull apart and take their seats at the table, Clarke instantly going for the menu to scout something to eat. All she has had today is Lexa’s hot chocolate, so her stomach grumbled at the sight of all the foods on the menu.

“What soup are you getting?” Clarke asks excitedly as she looks up at her mother, equally eyeing her own menu.

She hums in thought as her eyes process all the words, “this vegetable soup is really catching my eye,” she says practically watering at the mouth and Clarke chuckles.

“I’ll get the chicken and broccoli soup,” Clarke says with a nod and closes her menu.

As if on cue, a dashing waitress approaches the two women with a courteous smile on her face, “welcome to Arkadia, may I get anything for you two to drink?”

Clarke motions for water and Abby asks for a pot of tea and the waitress nods before adding, “have you decided on anything to eat?”

“Chicken and broccoli soup for me, please,” Clarke says, and the girl writes it on her pad before turning to Abby who orders the vegetable soup.

Once the waitress is finished with her notetaking, she turns to leave with a smile and Abby’s eyes are beaming brightly at Clarke.

“How have you been? What’s been happening in your life? How’s Jasper and Anya, how’s the radio station? Is Kibbles still settling in well?”

Clarke reels back at the interrogation but softens and smiles as she knows her mother is entitled to the 21 questions because they really do have no idea what goes on in each other’s lives anymore, she is so thankful for the time they have been given, even if it did mean having to leave Lexa’s.

“Well,” Clarke begins sucking in a breath, “I’ve been really good. I’ve had a pretty busy week, but it was a good one. I met up with Jasper yesterday to look at fifth and it was breathtaking, you would appreciate it too. Jasper is good though, and I assume Anya is well too, she had another opening for one of my pieces,” Abby’s breath hitched for Clarke, aching to speak but she let her continue, adoration in her eyes, “… the radio station is going well, Nathan is a fantastic co-host, we get along well. Kane started up a new advice-type segment which I have been given control over which is pretty cool. Kibbles’ is settling in nice, I just feel bad because I’m _never_ home these days, so he’s alone most of the time.”

The waitress comes back with the water and the tea, placing it gently on the table. Clarke takes a sip of her water silently announcing that she has finished speaking. Abby stares at Clarke for a while, like she is trying to identify something.

“You look good, Clarke. You’re practically glowing,” her mother says eyeing with a smile.

“Thanks, mom. I feel good.”

“Who are they?” Abby says instantly.

“What?” Clarke chokes on her water a little.

“The person making you so happy.”

_How the hell does her mother know._

Clarke is silent until Abby continues, “you’re wearing their hoodie.”

Clarke’s eyes widen, “are you a detective now? Did you quit nursing?” Clarke feigns a gasp and leans forward, “oh my god, you _are_ a detective.”

Abby shakes her head playfully, “no, just your mother, and I know that’s not your hoodie. It doesn’t carry your scent.”

_Oh, she is good._

“It’s Lexa’s,” Clarke says unwavering, lightly blushing as the name rolled off her tongue.

“Lexa?” Abby says with confusion tinging her voice.

“ _Idiot,”_ Clarke says to herself, “ _you didn’t even tell your mom her name.”_

“Yeah, the girl I saved the other day, the one I called you about.”

Abby leans into the table, with intrigue riddling her facial expression, remaining silent to egg Clarke on into continuing.

Clarke clears her throat awkwardly at the suspense she is creating, “I asked her out for coffee the next day and we got to know each other a bit more. She’s a famous actor, but she’s so humble about it and never brags about her status. She has a love for art, her grandmother was an amazing artist before she passed, and Lexa’s apartment is riddled with her works which are absolutely out of this world. She’s really kind and caring, she acts so tough and has a lot of walls built up but inside she is just insecure and haunted by demons,” Clarke is in a trance of speech and Abby just stares at Clarke with an open mouth as her daughter continues on, “I went for a run this morning and bumped into her, and we decided we would run together but we got caught up in this insane storm and ended up going back to her apartment to dry off and really was just a whole lot of déjà vu, mom. I feel like she is someone who gets taken advantage of a lot, for her niceness, and she has the most _beautiful_ eyes I have ever seen my whole goddamn life, and her _smile_ ,” Clarke swoons at the thought, “anyway so yes, that’s why I’m wearing her hoodie… cause I needed dry clothes.”

Abby gapes in silence while Clarke chugs water trying to soothe her dry throat, practically gasping for air as she hardly breathed while saying her unintentional speech.

“Earth to mom,” Clarke says staring at her silent mother.

“Well,” her mother begins, taking a sip of her tea, “we _really_ need to do a better job of making time to see each other because I can’t keep up,” she laughs, “it sounds like you really like this girl.”

Clarke blushes a light pink, “I guess so. I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is into girls like that, but something about her… is so intoxicating. She’s golden.”

Abby flashes Clarke a big smile as she watches Clarke’s eyes light up in a way she hasn’t seen in a _long_ time, “well quite frankly, you’ve had your heart broken by enough boys, maybe you will have better luck with a woman… Do be careful though… I’d hate to see these feelings bite you in the ass.”

Clarke sighs and finishes the remaining water in her glass, “I know. Which is why I’m just playing things by ear and going with the flow. If anything, I would be honoured just being her friend, which I’m completely content being. I have enough trust issues as it is, I won’t let her break those walls down easily,” Clarke flashes her mother a reassuring smile and Abby just nods her head.

_Oh, how wrong she was. Lexa had already weaselled her way into Clarke’s heart, breaking those walls down with a hammer. And she knew it._

Finally, the waitress returned with their long-awaited soups and placed the plates on the table before sharing a smile and walking away. Clarke eagerly pulled her plate towards her, going for the bread and enthusiastically dipping it in her soup before bringing it to her lips, revelling in the flavourful combination.

“You mentioned Anya had a space in her gallery for you?” Abby begins as she copies Clarke’s motion of the bread dipping.

Clarke’s eyes widen in excitement at the sheer sentence.

“You are going to think I’m crazy for this but -,”

“Clarke, honey. At this point, I don’t think I could be surprised by anything else,” her mother cut in with a smile.

Clarke shared a toothy smile with her mother before unloading her plan onto her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this plan, you may ask? Find out soon!


	9. Chapter Nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, Christmas period was hectic! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. This chapter is a lot more intense emotionally, however a story is nothing but a journey. I wrote this chapter to ‘Dream’ by Priscilla Ahn (which is a beautiful heckn song by the way you guys). Additionally – the segments that are entirely made from italics are memories.

It was late afternoon by the time Clarke arrived at her studio, with pure electricity coursing through her veins. This has been the most insane and amazing day all at once, and Clarke knows she _has_ to channel all this energy onto a canvas. She got to see and dine with her darling mother who she hasn’t seen in weeks _and_ got to have the most ethereal experience with Lexa earlier that day. Despite witnessing her awful panic attack, Clarke can’t help but feel like they bonded today, not to mention the girl saying yes to letting Clarke take her out to see the Aurelie the next morning.

Clarke’s grin spread wide at the image and thought she should probably follow through and text the brunette some details regarding tomorrow. Clarke stepped out of her car, a shiver rippling through her body at the late afternoon breeze. As she opened the door to the complex, she whipped out her phone, quickly locating her messages with Lexa and began typing:

**Clarke:** _Hey there! Regarding tomorrow, how does 10am sound? Meet outside the gallery?_

Her response wasn’t instant, which allowed Clarke to scale the infinite stairwell and enter her studio door without interruption until her phone dinged with a notification, making Clarke’s heart flutter.

 **Lexa** : _Sounds wonderful. Looking forward to it!_

Clarke smiled at her phone but faltered when she saw three grey bubbles appear at the bottom of the screen. _She’s still typing_?

**Lexa:** _Not to sound intrusive… but how did lunch with your mother fair?_

“Oh my god,” Clarke said with delight as she set her phone down on one of her tables, so she could strip off her hoodie, setting it down on said table before picking her phone back up.

**Clarke:** _It’s not intrusive at all_

**Clarke:** _It went really well actually_

**Clarke:** _It’s always nice seeing my mom_

**Clarke:** _Thanks again for driving me home :)_

Clarke was pulsating with inspiration as she pulled a large canvas from her stack, placing it gently against her easel. She knew she was going to be painting for a _long_ time today, she rolled up her sleeves and put her hair up into a messy bun and began mixing colours together; her favourite green.

 

//

 

Lexa was making tea when her phone buzzed from her marble countertop:

**Clarke:** _It’s not intrusive at all_

**Clarke:** _It went really well actually_

**Clarke:** _It’s always nice seeing my mom_

**Clarke:** _Thanks again for driving me home :)_

Lexa smiled at her phone as her kettle began to whistle, announcing that its job was done, forcing her to put her phone down. Lexa moved to pour the hot water into a cup, dropping a tea bag in its centre. She moved back to the marble island, eyeing her phone and then began hitting the screen with her fingers:

**Lexa:** _My pleasure, Clarke. See you tomorrow._

Lexa smiled and looked around her space, towels blanketing her floor like snow. She sighed gently at the sight, pinching the bridge of her nose with thoughts flooding her mind of the day’s events.

“I totally lost it today,” she said raking her hands through her hair.

_“What would have happened if I was alone? If I didn’t have Clarke by my side, and I was alone in that storm…”_

It’s not too often that Lexa has panic attacks like that, mainly because where she’s from it never storms _that_ bad, let alone be in the _middle_ of it. Lightning has always triggered her panic attacks, for the past 13 years. No one ever knew how to quell her panic attacks, except one. She was an angel sent from heaven to Lexa. She was a volunteer at the orphanage she went to, coming in Monday-Thursday 12pm-5pm, and she made the orphanage experience more tolerable then it was. _She_ knew how to handle Lexa when she was having a panic attack, which sucked when she wasn’t at the orphanage volunteering because the staff could never calm her down, and the kids just laughed. They always laughed. Everyone always laughed. Except Clarke. Clarke didn’t laugh.

Lexa moved to pick up the soggy towels littering her kitchen floor and paced them through to her laundry, taking out their wet gym gear and shoving the pile into her tumble-dryer, then pushing the damp towels into the washing machine.

“Clarke didn’t laugh,” she breathed.

A smile knitted over her plum lips as she paced back through to her living room, picking up the rest of the towels along the way and repeating the same process. She strode back into her kitchen, picking up her cup of tea and making her way to cuddle up on her couch, wrapping herself up in the blanket Clarke used.

Lexa sighed at the vanilla scent wafting off the blanket. Clarke was so nice, truly. Lexa has never met someone as kind as Clarke, which terrified the life out of her because all good things _will_ come to an end. They always end. Her stomach flipped at the thought of seeing the Aurelie with Clarke tomorrow, even if this wouldn’t last long, Lexa was going to enjoy it while she had it, had Clarke.

Lexa sipped at her tea in silence, revelling in moment. She’d learned to enjoy the moments she was given, to appreciate them in its entirety, she was too used to them being ripped away before she had the chance to fully enjoy them. Which only aided in her strong personality and stoniness. She recalled Clarke’s radio talk about this very subject, of course Lexa would never tell Clarke she’s been tuning into the station ever since Clarke mentioned it.

Once the brunette had finished her tea, she set it on her coffee table before hearing her phone go off, picking it up delicately, smiling at the name.

**Raven:** _Sup loser, did you want to do some exploring tomorrow? Ya know, before shit hits the fan with the media and filming consumes our life._

Lexa laughed at her friend, god she missed her so much. It truly is a shame they struggled to keep in touch after the shoot finished for Parallax. They managed to text here and there, especially during the first year out of the film, with a phone call if they were lucky. But maintaining any form of relationship as an actor is so stupidly hard with all the travelling and filming hours. She thanked God and whatever other divine power that Reyes and herself were co-stars again.

**Lexa:** _As great as that does sound, my morning and potentially afternoon is occupied._

**Raven:** _Um, what the fuck? Doing what?_

Lexa bit her lip as she formed her response.

**Lexa:** _Clarke said that she would show me around the Aurelie tomorrow, she’s an artist too so she’s passionate like me._

She could practically feel Raven’s scoff through her reply.

**Raven:** _Sounds lame, Woods. Go be gay for art together._

**Raven:** _But, you, me, dinner, tomorrow. I miss your dumb ass._

Lexa smiled again.

**Lexa:** _Alright, alright, I’ll text you tomorrow afternoon and we can finalise some plans._

**Lexa:** _And for the record Reyes, I really missed you too._

Lexa sighed a happy sigh as she began sifting through all her social medias. They were in a state of chaos, Lexa rarely touches her social medias, mainly because they are out of hand 90% of the time. She didn’t quite understand her fans obsession with her, but the attention was nice, and she enjoyed it. She got herself up off the couch to attend to her laundry once again. She pulled out their now-dry gym clothes and paced to put them on her bed before returning to move the towels into the tumble-dryer.

She moved back into her bedroom and began sorting through the gym clothes pile, sorting them into piles of two. She moved to put her clothes pile away accordingly before returning to her bed, staring at Clarke’s pile. She picked up her yellow hoodie and held it in her hands for a while, feeling the soft material. She bites at her lip and throws the hoodie over her shirt because she may as well utilise the clothes while she has them, right? It still carried her scent and Lexa smiled cheesily.

Lexa moved the rest of Clarke’s clothes to one of her chairs before snaking her script out of one of her bags and plopping herself onto her bed, flicking through the papers. Before she knew it, her eyes were drooping, and she fell asleep with her script on her chest.

 

//

 

Clarke’s body clock really was godly for her. Clarke didn’t even need an alarm clock, which thank god because she couldn’t imagine anything worse than a loud noise to jolt her awake every morning. 9am on the dot, she sat up stretching her muscles out with a big yawn, Kibbles making his way onto her bed for the morning patting ritual.

“Ouch,” Clarke said mid-stretch. Her arms were quite literally dead.

“I can’t believe I came home so late last night, and I’m still awake at 9am.”

Clarke indeed did come home late, 3am to be exact. Her hands couldn’t stop painting, she finished two full artworks before her eyes were telling her to put the brush and chalks down, driving quickly home before throwing herself at her bed, not evening bothering to change.

She got out of bed and moved to the bathroom, so she could brush her teeth and relieve herself, slashing her face with cold water from the tap. She had paint all over her hands and arms, she quickly began scrubbing away at her skin. She got most of it off, but there were still traces on her hands that no amount of water could remove.

She spun around back into her bedroom and stripped off her jeans, hoodie and shirt and threw them onto her bed.

“What am I going to wear today,” she said aloud, throwing her hands up dramatically.

_“It is the Aurelie after all… So… smart casual?”_

She strode over to her wardrobe and ruffled through her various garments. She eyed one of her short sleeved black dresses, tight-fitting at the waist, and falls _just_ above her knees. She slipped on a pair of stockings, before sliding the dress over her physique, fishing out a tight-fitting white jacket and her black heels.

She waltzed over to her jewellery box, grabbing her golden dangly earrings that fall just above her hair. She surveyed herself in the mirror, twirling from side to side.

“Do I look okay?” She said turning to the cat who sat patiently behind her, who yawned in response.

She sighed at herself once more, and then nodded before turning to leave her bedroom and fill up Kibble’s food bowl, he chirped pleasantly as he stuck his face in. Clarke pulled her watch up: 9:35am.

“Shit!” She exclaimed.

_“I gotta get going! Lexa is always prompt and I don’t want to leave her hanging.”_

Clarke ran back into her bedroom, picking up one of her handbags, shoving her phone and purse inside before grabbing her car keys and rushing out the door. Clarke had so many butterflies in her stomach as she made the drive to the Aurelie. God, the gallery was a sight. It was a beautiful stone building, with stone pillars coating its exterior. It was surrounded by trees, leaves starting to bud on the branches, the day was most definitely a beautiful one. The sky was clear and much to Clarke’s surprise, the temperature was tolerable, perfect you might say. Not too hot, not too cold, Clarke almost thought she’d time-jumped to Autumn.

She found a parking space and exited her car, searching to see if she could recognise the black Audi amongst the sea of cars, to no avail. She moved onto the pathway leading up to the gallery, she couldn’t see Lexa anywhere. She pulled her watch up: 9:56am.

“Interesting,” she said as she moved to the base of the stairs leading to the entrance of the gallery.

Clarke took a moment to truly marvel at the building, Anya had done so well. Clarke was so proud of her. Clarke has known Anya since she was 14 years old, her and her dad met in an arts class when Anya was 33, they quickly became good friends and she became a good family friend almost instantly. Anya was a sweet soul, extremely caring and charismatic, always doing charity work when she could. Jake died when Clarke was 16, even though Anya and Jake’s friendship was brief, it was a long two years and Anya had taken a massive liking to Abby and Clarke and she stuck around through all the rough times after Jake’s passing. Anya truly kept them together. When Anya was 37 she opened the Aurelie, it was a struggle and took a lot of blood sweat and tears to build but 5 years later it is one of the most esteemed galleries. God, Jake would have been proud.

“Clarke?”

Clarke jumped five feet at the voice behind her. She turned around, heart racing. The voice was pleasantly familiar.

“I’m sorry. I startled you again. I seem to have a bad habit of doing that,” Lexa said furrowing her brow.

Clarke smiled, “it’s okay, you keep me on my toes.”

Clarke looked at her watch subtly: 10:19am.

Lexa chuckled awkwardly noticing Clarke’s motion, “I’m sorry I’m late. I should have texted. Here, I brought these,” she said extending her arm to Clarke with a take-away cup in her hand.

Clarke eyed it suspiciously and took it gently, confused by what was going on.

“It’s a caramel latte, I know you wanted to go to Lucy’s yesterday, but we didn’t get around to it cause… you know. So, I thought I’d get you one since you wanted one so badly, it was why I was late.”

Clarke was dumbstruck.

_Oh my god._

Clarke looked at Lexa like she was a revelation. Like she just descended from heaven with a new set of commandments, like she just parted the red sea, just for Clarke. This was the sweetest gesture anyone has ever done for her.

“I…” she began.

No words came out, she desperately swallowed the lump in her throat and took a sip of her coffee, so she could coat her desert-dry oesophagus.

“Thank you, Lexa. This is so sweet.”

Lexa chucked adorably and teased, “do you mean the coffee, or what I did?”

“You, idiot,” Clarke playfully hit her shoulder, “but this coffee is pretty good too.”

Clarke came down from her high and finally took in the brunette in front of her. Her throat went dry again instantly.

_Oh fuck._

Lexa was wearing a smart white button-up shirt that was tucked into black suit pants, black closed in shoes that came to a point. Black suspenders were strapped over her shoulders to hold the pants in place. She looked like something out of a magazine with her sunglasses atop her head and her coffee cup in hand. Her hair was tied up into a high pony-tail, with strands of curls falling at the sides of her face

 _“Be still my beating… heart,”_ Clarke said to herself as she brought the coffee cup back to her lips. 

It looked like Lexa was equally staring her up and down before Clarke finally broke the silence, “shall we?” She said gesturing her hands towards the entrance.

Lexa nodded, and the pair set up the stairs until they were face-on with the massive glass doors.

“Wow, the building is breathtaking,” Lexa marvelled as she observed the building from side-to-side.

“Wait until you see the inside,” Clarke smiled as she opened the door for the brunette, following her promptly inside.

For a Sunday, there were actually quite a few people inside the gallery, not to her surprise though as it _was_ the Aurelie, it was always busy. Lexa took in a huge breath of awe once they stepped further inside, she was in her element.

“This is amazing,” she breathed.

The girl marvelled at the huge space, with hallways leading off into more rooms. White walls and marble pillars, monuments and artefacts concealed by glass cases, paintings of all sizes stretching across the walls, glass sky lights littering the high ceiling. It was otherworldly. Clarke just stared at the awestruck girl, with a grin on her face. Her stomach flipped as her mind raced, she scrunched her nose up as she thought about _the_ painting and Lexa noticed her facial expression and smirked, “what are _you_ thinking about?”

Clarke quickly wiped her facial expression clean and hummed a “nothing, shall we look around?”

Clarke’s blood was buzzing with nerves and excitement, it made her head spin. The pair walked over to what seemed the start and revered each painting as they moved along the walls, sipping at their coffee. Clarke couldn’t wipe the smile off her face the whole time they were admiring and discussing the paintings, Clarke has never found someone to fawn over art like this, other than Anya. But Anya was a prodigy. Her mom liked art, but not in a ‘let’s discuss every detail’ kinda way, more like ‘wow, you’re talented, I like this’ kinda way.

The girls fed off each other’s energy as they moved from room to room, discussing the monuments and artworks in length, the pair looked like they worked there. Clarke naturally knew more about the artworks displayed as she had traversed the gallery at length with Anya, so she just passed down the knowledge from Anya to Lexa, who listened intently.

Occasionally, a passer-byer would tune in on Clarke’s explanations which made her puff out her chest with pride. Lexa looked at her like she was the only person in the world, eyes full of admiration and wonder that made Clarke’s knees buckle. God, her eyes.

Much to Clarke’s excitement, there were a lot of new artefacts and artworks around the place, as Anya likes to swap out pieces every so often for fresher content, which is often why Anya will call up Clarke with an opening for one of her works every so often.

They moved from room to room, never a dull moment.

“Oh, Clarke! Look at this one!” Lexa said as she pulled Clarke in the direction she was talking about.

They approached a relatively large statue, made of stone. It was an adult woman, bending down to pat a little girl on her head who was looking up keenly.

“This is so cute,” Clarke smiled as her eyes raked over the statue.

“The Aurelie really does have a bit of everything, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Clarke chuckled, “the owner likes to have a variety of artworks here, so it appeals to all types of consumers.”

“You know the owner?” Lexa gasped as she turned to look at Clarke.

“Yeah, you could say that. We’re… family friends,” Clarke replied as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“No wonder you know this place so well,” Lexa smiled turning back to the statue.

Clarke mouthed a “yeah.” It was supposed to be audible but looking at the girl next to her just took her breath away. Wow she was so lucky. She was touring Alexandria Woods around her favourite gallery.

“If she’s here, I’ll introduce you,” Clarke smiled and gestured behind them, “shall we continue?”

Lexa smiled, and they continued along their walk through the halls. The girls still holding their now empty coffee cups. They entered the gallery’s main room, lined with more paintings, with walls cornering off different sections.

“Wow, this place is huge,” Lexa said as the pair turned one of the corners, revealing a much larger room, lined with smaller looking paintings.

“It’s a good thing I have you with me Clarke, otherwise I’d get lost h-,”

Lexa’s cup dropped to the floor, and she covered her mouth with both of her hands.

Clarke only watched, not interrupting the moment.

“Is that-,” Lexa began as she walked forward to the other side of the room.

There, in the centre of the wall, standing out compared to all the rest, was her grandmother’s painting. Clarke picked up the girl’s cup and sauntered slowly behind the brunette as she walked until she was in front of the painting, eyes never moving from the artwork. Clarke stopped behind her, letting Lexa soak in the moment by herself. It was a few minutes before she turned around to face Clarke, tears _streaming_ down her face.

“Was this you?” She croaked, the words barely audible.

Clarke nodded, “you said how your grandmother’s dream was for one of her works to be featured in a gallery and this piece deserved to be in a galle- oof,” Lexa slammed herself against Clarke in a tight embrace, catching Clarke completely off guard.

Lexa hugged Clarke so tight she thought her spine would snap in half.

“Thank you,” Lexa breathed as fresh tears fell from her face onto Clarke’s neck.

Clarke willingly brought her arms up around the girl’s back and held her, not nearly as tight but tight enough. The embrace went on for what felt like hours until Lexa finally pulled away, her cheeks and face puffy from the excessive crying, however it only made Clarke smile. She was beautiful.

“I… how?” Lexa said turning back around to face her grandmother’s painting.

Clarke cleared her throat as she stepped to the right of Lexa, “as I said before… I’m good friends with the owner. Every once and a while, she gets an opening for new artworks, and she likes to ring me up and ask for one of my pieces to feature. She’s extremely supportive of my art career. She actually called me that day when you gave me the painting, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of featuring this one,” she gestured to the painting in front of them, “I know how much she meant to you. How much it would mean to the both of you to have her work featured. It’s more deserving to be here than any of my works. It’s incredible.”

Lexa only breathed in response, no words came out, she couldn’t form any. Her yes darted to the gold plate underneath the painting.

_Created by Margaret Woods, 1996._

“How did you-,” the brunette began.

“Well, you told me her name when I was making us coffee. You told me your last name when we were having coffee at Lucy’s. I know you were 3 when she painted it, so I deducted your age from that and voila. I then texted Anya everything so she could engrave it, so the people knew who it was created by,” Clarke said proudly.

Lexa’s eyes went wide, “Anya?”

“Yeah, she’s the owne-,”

“Alexandria?!”

Both girls turned at the voice shouting from their left, Anya had just turned the corner when she called out. She looked thunderstruck.

“Anya?!” Lexa yelled, eyes wide with surprise.

“Oh my god,” Anya said as she started to run over, Lexa equally running until they collided in a tight embrace.

Anya pulled away and gripped Lexa’s face in her hands, “oh my god, it’s really you.”

Lexa’s floodgates opened again, causing Anya to cry as well as they embraced once again.

Clarke had never been more confused in her life.

_What the fuck is going on here._

She thought it best to just stay where she was and let them sort out whatever the hell was going on.

The girls stepped away from each other, “when I saw the painting… I wasn’t sure…” Anya began, “god her eyes… I knew they had to be yours, but I wasn’t sure… how could I ever forget.”

“It’s okay, you never knew her name, and there are a lot of Woods,” Lexa said wiping her eyes.

Clarke moved cautiously up to the pair, “you two… know each other…?”

Anya turned to Clarke, wiping her own tears, “yeah… we do. I used to volunteer at her orphanage.”

“Orphanage?” Clarke gaped, and Lexa looked down at her feet with shame.

Clarke instantly felt guilty for sounding so shocked. In truth though, she _was_ shocked. Lexa was an orphan? She knew Anya? Anya _worked_ at an orphanage? What the FUCK was going on.

Anya turned to Lexa again, cupping her face again, “I’m so sorry I left you.”

Lexa only shook her head, “I understand why you did. You had your future to think about. You couldn’t stay in LA forever, artists thrive _here,_ not there, I’m sorry I was selfish and got mad.”

“Still, I should have made more of an effort to contact you.”

“I was 16 Anya, there was no way you could have stayed in touch with me. By the time I got out, I assumed you’d forgotten about me.”

“I could never forget about you,” Anya said pulling the girl in for another hug.

“Is your grandmother with you?”

Lexa went limp in Anya’s arms and she let go, Lexa only shook her head.

“I’m so sorry,” Anya began before Lexa interrupted, “it’s okay.”

Clarke felt so awkward, she just swayed her hands from side-to-side, letting the girl’s catch up in spite of her confusion.

“You’ve done so well for yourself! The owner of the Aurelie? Moving was the best thing you could ever do!” Lexa said with excitement, livening up, slapping Anya’s shoulder playfully.

Anya had a smug look on her face that made Clarke laugh, “yeah well Lexa is a famous actor.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Anya’s mouth dropped and turned to look back at Lexa.

She only rubbed the back of her neck, “I mean I wouldn’t say famoooous,” she dragged the words out and kicked at her feet.

“She’s being modest. She is famous, and an amazing actor. I’ve seen her movies,” Lexa’s head whipped around to look at Clarke in surprise, “you what?”

Clarke giggled and turned to look back at the piece behind them. Anya moved in beside Clarke, with Lexa following to move next to Anya.

“Ya know kid, the people love that piece,” Anya said putting an arm over Lexa’s shoulders.

“Really?” Lexa’s eyes glistened at the words.

“Really.”

Anya turned her head to Clarke, “really self-effacing of you to put up once of her works instead of your own, kid. I was taken aback when you said you wanted me to put something up that wasn’t yours, thought it was just another one of your weird requests but I trusted you, and it all makes sense now. Ah,” she threw her hands up in the air, “this is crazy! How do you guys even know about each other?”

At that, Anya’s phone rang, and she let out loud and ‘very Anya’ type grunt before answering it.

“What is it? Oh. Shit, is it that time already? Yeah. Yahuh. Okay, I’ll head over right now. Don’t let him leave!”

Anya ended the call and put her phone in her back-pocket, she pulled the two girls into a big group hug, “I’m so sorry kiddos, I have to run. I have a business talk to attend to you, we have to catch up, okay?”

The girls nodded, and Anya let the pair go, she stared at Lexa, taking her in, before she nodded and turned away, disappearing from view. Emerald met cerulean, and they just held each other’s gaze in silence before Lexa moved her eyes back to the painting.

“I can’t believe you did that for her,” Lexa breathed.

“I did it for both of you,” Clarke blushed lightly, causing the other girl to blush in return.

Clarke glanced down at her watch: 12:30pm.

“Holy shit, we’ve been here for over two hours,” Clarke laughed.

“Feels like 20 minutes,” the brunette laughed in return, “should we get lunch?”

Clarke nodded, and the pair set off through the gallery and back through the glass doors. Clarke sighed into the fresh air, a cool breeze washing over her body like a baptism, Lexa seemed to enjoy the sensation too. Clarke deposited their coffee cups into a trash can while Lexa pulled her sunglasses onto her nose, looking like she damn well owned the place, like she hadn’t just had the cry of her life. God, she was hot. Clarke was practically salivating at the mouth as she imagined sliding those suspenders off her shoulders and unbuttoning her shirt. She was a sucker for button-ups. But suspenders too? Good god, have mercy.

“Clarke?”

Lexa stood in front of her, head tilted like a puppy in confusion.

Clarke shook her head with embarrassment, “I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

Lexa chucked, “yeah, I was asking where you wanted to get lunch?”

Clarke bit at her lip, “ah.”

Clarke hummed in thought and then snapped her fingers comically, “do you like tacos?”

“I do indeed.”

“Great. I know a stand literally around the corner, it does banger tacos.”

Lexa smirked, “well, lead the way.”

“ _Oh, be still…”_ Clarke said to herself as she set off in the direction of the stand.

The girls walked around the corner of the huge building and down a block before they approached a little stand, a man smiling courteously as they approached. Clarke eagerly went first to order, her stomach grumbling at the mere thought of eating something. The man listened to Clarke’s order and quickly began preparing it as she spoke, it wasn’t long before he handed over the taco and Clarke gave him her credit card in return.

Clarke had a very satisfied look on her face as she moved aside for Lexa to order, she approached the glass and the man prepared her taco and handed it to the brunette in record time. She went to pull out her card before Clarke intervened and slapped her own card on the glass instead.

“I don’t think so,” she said smugly as the man scanned the card.

“Clarke,” Lexa deadpanned at the action.

“What? You bought me coffee this morning. It’s only fair.”

The man handed the card back and the pair said their goodbyes and thanks before turning around to leave.

“Come, I know a place we can sit,” Clarke said as the pair backtracked.

Lexa complied, and they walked back past the Aurelie and into a park. Clarke’s favourite park. Clarke guided them to a bench that overlooked the river and what Clarke thinks is the more beautiful side of the city. The girls sat and ate their tacos in silence, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze, the sounds of the birds and flowing water.

Lexa was the first to finish, and she set her paper container to the side and stared out at the view, Clarke sneakily taking glances at her. God, she was a vision. She looked so good in sunglasses and damn is she good at composing herself.

“This is my favourite park,” Clarke said as she set her empty container aside too.

Lexa moved her sunglasses atop her head again, so she could look Clarke in the eyes, “Why?”

Clarke smiled as she looked out at the river, “this will sound silly but… I really love the water. This park has the best view of the river. I’ve never been to the ocean so… this river means a lot to me, I guess.”

“Really? You’ve never seen the ocean? Isn’t there one really close to here?”

“Mhm, there is. I’ve always wanted to see it but it’s a few hours away.”

Lexa furrowed her brow and looked out to the river. They both stared out for a while before Lexa broke the silence, “that must have been weird for you… back in the gallery. With Anya.”

Their eyes met again, and Clarke opened her mouth, “a little. It’s just so surreal that you two know each other. I’ve known Anya since I was 14, I almost don’t remember her entering my life. She’s just… always been there. It’s utterly crazy that she knew you too, and now we’re here. Small world.”

“Would you like to hear the story of how we met?” Lexa said turning to face Clarke, pulling her legs up onto the bench.

“Very much. But… only if you’re comfortable to.”

“I’m comfortable, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded giving Lexa the heads up to begin.

Lexa took in a deep breath to steady her heartrate.

“When… when I was 12 years old, my parents and I were on our way to an important dinner. The weather was horrible, a terrible storm broke out, but father told us we had to make that dinner. We were on the highway in the middle of the woods when,” Lexa took a deep breath in, “when a lightning bolt struck the road in front of us, he swerved to dodge it, but he lost control of the car and drove head on into a tree… killing them both on impact…”

Clarke reached out and put her hand on Lexa’s knee, Lexa let out a watery smile and went to rest her hand atop of Clarke’s and continued her story:

“I broke my leg on the impact too, as well as my cheekbone from hitting the seat in front. I called 911 and tried waking my parents up, I was so confused and scared. There was blood everywhere. The lightning was so loud. I passed out and when I woke up, two strange women were hovering over my bed, telling me my parents were gone, and that they were going to take me to a place where I would be looked after. My grandmother at the time was 74 and was in the early stages of developing Alzheimer’s, which meant she was unable to take care of me, and I had no other family around. So, I got put into the system. The orphanage wasn’t too bad, the staff were shitty at times, the kids weren’t much better either. That’s where I met Anya. She was a volunteer at the orphanage, five hours a day, four days a week. She did a lot of painting when she wasn’t working, she taught me a lot about art and we’d draw sometimes. We got really close, she was like my older sister and protected me against the other kids. She always knew how to calm me down if there was a storm. When I was 16, she told me she was moving to a different state, to kickstart her art career. I was selfish and got mad, because she was my only friend, my family. As I grew older I knew she made the right decision and I just wished I could tell her that I was sorry for how I reacted, but it was too late, and I had no means of contacting her or finding her. When I was 18, I left the orphanage and got a part-time job at a café and found a small studio to live in. To my disappointment, by the time I reached my grandmother she had already forgotten who I was. I hated myself for missing out on those years with her, locked away in that orphanage,” Lexa gritted her teeth at the thought which made her tighten her grip on Clarke’s hand, “I made it my mission to see my grandmother every day and do my best to look after her, sometimes she remembered who I was… until she didn’t. It was heartbreaking. A year later, she passed away.”

Clarke was wiping her tears away with her other hand as Lexa continued, “but I knew that I did everything I could. After that, I focused on making a life for myself, I was 19, in my prime, I sought out acting classes which got me into an acting school and I guess you know the rest. I never knew what had happened to Anya, or how successful she had become. Two different worlds I guess.”

“Lexa… I…”

Clarke couldn’t get the words out. What a story. What a sad fucking story. Who would have thought that such a beautiful and loving girl like this had gone through so much trauma? It made Clarke’s story about her dad feel so insignificant against a story like that. Clarke could easily just out her story too, but Clarke wasn’t strong enough for that. She wasn’t strong like Lexa was.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything. I know it’s a lot,” Lexa smiled sheepishly.

“God, Alexandria,” Clarke pulled Lexa into an intense hug, “I’m so sorry.”

The brunette sunk into the embrace, burying her face in the crook of the blonde’s neck. They clung to each other like children, Clarke wished and tried to take all of Lexa’s pain away with this one single hug. Her heart broke in a way it never has before, and it has been _broken_ before.

“Thank you for telling me,” Clarke said as she pulled away, eyes fixed on the watery emeralds.

“Not many people know that story. My childhood. The media would have a field day if they got their hands on it.”

“I would never-,”

“I know, Clarke. I was just saying, it’s not something I say lightly.”

“Who else knows?” Clarke rubbed at her eyes and adjusted her hair.

“Well, Anya obviously. Raven. My ex. And now, you. So, four.”

“Your ex?” Clarke said without thinking.

Lexa hummed a response, “mhm, Costia. She was an actress too. We worked on a tv series together and dated for 10 months. She cheated on me with another actor on a different show. I was terrified she would go to the press about my story, but she didn’t… she just, disappeared. I haven’t seen her since, besides in the media and online, which is a given.”

_?????????????????????????????_

_Who would cheat on a girl like this?_

Clarke was positively writhing with anger. This girl had already gone through so much, only to be cheated on? Clarke was too mad to even register the fact that Lexa just admitted she was into girls, which is what Clarke had been trying to figure out since she first saw her.

Lexa seemed to pick up on Clarke’s emotion, “hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. It was awful at the time, but it was my fault. It was a couple of years ago anyway.”

Clarke perked up at the words, “how was it _your_ fault you got cheated on?”

Lexa bit at her lip, “it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past now.”

Clarke knew not the press further, and she only nodded.

Lexa was like Pandora’s box, Clarke didn’t know how much more information she could absorb. She’d learned so much about the girl in front of her, in such a short space of time too.

_Oh my god, she was into girls._

Clarke’s face lit up as she thought about it, she was acting like a complete teenager again, she felt embarrassed about it, but Lexa’s smile grew as she watched Clarke’s facial expressions change.

“You alright?” Lexa smirked.

Clarke chuckled awkwardly, “yeah… Actually, question?”

Lexa nodded her head for the ‘go-ahead.’

“Speaking of the media. How come there aren’t paparazzi’s following you everywhere?”

Lexa chuckled, “because they don’t know we are here yet. This is the ‘freedom period’ as Raven refers to it as. Calm before the storm, you could say. Tomorrow will change all of that unfortunately, as soon as people see us on set, word will get out and everything goes crazy.”

Lexa’s phone rang which made the girl’s jump at the sudden interruption, she quickly answered her phone, Clarke knew it was Raven just by how loud she was talking.

_“Woods!”_

“Hi, Raven, can I help you?”

_“Yeah you fucking can, are you done being gay yet? I know I said dinner but I wanna see you now.”_

Lexa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose causing Clarke to laugh.

“No, I’m _not_ done being gay, I’m rather busy.”

_“Bullshit. Clarke? Clarke! If you can hear me, you’ve had her all morning, give her ba-,”_

Lexa quickly put her hand over her phone and pulled it into her lap and mouthed an “I’m so sorry” to Clarke, who only shook her head and laughed.

Lexa grinned sheepishly before putting the phone back to her ear, “if I meet you now, will you shut up?”

_“Yes.”_

“Fine,” Lexa let out a loud sigh.

_“Fuck yes! Text me your address, I’ll pick you up in an hour.”_

At that, the girl hung up.

“Looks like you have someone to keep you on your toes too,” Clarke chuckled as she stood up, flattening her dress out.

Lexa eyed her waist and watched her hands flatten the fabric before standing up too, meeting the blue gaze, “indeed. As I’ve said… Raven is a character, but she means well. She’s a good friend.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Clarke said as the two began their walk back to the parking lot.

The walk was brief seeing as the park was considerably close to the Aurelie. Lexa walked Clarke over to her car before they began exchanging goodbyes.

“Thank you so much for today. And for what you did with the painting,” Lexa said pulling the blonde in for another hug.

“It was my pleasure. It’s the least I could do.”

They pulled away and smiled before Lexa turned around to walk to her car with Clarke stepping inside of her own, closing the door behind her. She exhaled and ran her hands through her hair, completely frazzled. She erupted in laughter as she let her hands fall onto her steering wheel, “oh my god.”

She quickly began dialling a number:

“Jasper? Yeah, hi! Where are you right now?”

 

//

 

Lexa was hurrying out of her complex’s doors at the incessant honking erupting from a car parked way too close to the entrance. Raven had her windows rolled down and she leaned over to try stick her head out of the passenger’s window, “honk honk bitch, come on!” She honked her horn playfully twice more.

Lexa rolled her eyes as she entered the girl’s car.

“You’re literally early, Raven.”

Raven laughed cockily as she sped off, both hands on the wheel, “just eager to see you!”

Rock music blasted through her speakers which normally would have given Lexa a headache, but she was too much in cloud nine to pay much mind to it.

“Why?” Lexa practically yelled.

“Why?” Raven slapped her shoulder playfully, “because I missed you! I want some best friend time! It’s been years!”

“That’s an exaggeration, we saw each other last year.”

“Yeah, over a weekend, for a con, where we were on _separate_ screenings. Emphasis on _separate_ screenings. Which means we had to stick with our _respected_ cast, and talk to our _respected_ fans and talk on our _respected_ panels and-,”

“Oh my god, Raven, I get it,” Lexa laughed as Raven continued to speed down the streets of the city, “where are we going?”

“You ask too many questions!” Raven yelled over the electric guitar blaring through her speakers, taking a corner _way_ to fast.

Lexa gulped and grasped onto her seatbelt so tightly like if she was to let go she would die. Yep, she definitely missed Raven. She sat back and let the woman drive them to who knows where, booming loud rock music, driving a little too fast, and smiling like she just won the lottery. Lexa can’t remember a time she was this happy, she really was counting her blessings.

Raven sped out of the city and up a congregation of hills that seemed endless but wow, was the view beautiful. The sun was preparing to rest, colouring the sky a stunning cerulean, much like Clarke’s eyes. Tints of yellow beginning to stretch across the blue expanse, touching the white clouds with its warmth. It was going to be a beautiful sunset.

 Raven continued up the hills and along the roads until the glistening city was out of sight. Raven screeched to a halt in what seemed like the middle of no-where.

“We’re here!” Raven said triumphantly, turning her car off. She slid her keys out of the ignition and jumped out of her car.

“Uh, okay,” Lexa said to herself awkwardly as she unbuckled her seatbelt and exited the vehicle.

Raven was already walking up another hill by the time Lexa got her bearings, she promptly followed Raven up the hill, atop the hill was a _giant_ water tank. What was Raven up to?

“Raven? Where are you going!”

Raven turned around and shot Lexa one of her pearly smiles, “you’re so slow!”

Lexa huffed and picked up her pace as she trekked her way up the hill after Raven. By the time she made it to the water tank, Raven was waiting patiently for her.

“Raven, what are we doing here. There’s nothing here,” Lexa said puffing slightly. She slid her suspenders over her shoulders and began to roll up her sleeves.

“Woods. Shut up for a second and just trust me,” the brown-eyed girl said as she moved towards one of the ladders and began to climb upwards.

“What is she… whatever.”

Lexa wiped at her brow and followed the brunette, commencing her climb after her. It was a three-story climb and Lexa was thanking every divine power out there for her superb fitness level and physique. Once she reached the top, she had to stop herself from falling backwards and ultimately to her death. The view was breathtaking. Literally breathtaking, Lexa had to remind herself to breath with her lungs burning from her recent exertion. Raven sat at the far end of the tank, legs hanging over the edge, arms extended back to brace herself on the tank.

Lexa walked over and copied the girl’s position and stared out. The sun was _just_ kissing the horizon, casting a beautiful glow on the far city, fully in view. The golden touch spread to the distant hills and mountains surrounding the small city, showering gold over the river that encircled through the city and out through the mountains.

“How did you find this place?” Lexa breathed.

Raven grinned outwards, “I’m Raven Reyes.”

Lexa chuckled, “it’s so beautiful here.”

“Yeah, nothing like that shithole we filmed Parallax in.”

“Hey!” Lexa feigned a gasp, “I quite liked it there. Though, it doesn’t even hold a candle to this city.”

Raven nodded intently.

Despite the fact the girls were eager to erupt into conversation and catch up on everything they’d missed, they were content just enjoying the incandescent magic unfolding before their eyes, watching the sun set over the city, the breeze washing over them like a strange warm hug, the wind soft in their ears, sounds of the rushing water barely audible but it’s enough. Lexa has never felt more relaxed before in her life. Here, sitting on a water tank, in the middle of nowhere, overlooking the valley and glistening city being touched by the sunset with the sky exploding into colours of pinks, yellows and oranges, with none other than her best friend beside her.

They’re an odd pairing, Lexa is so reserved while Raven… Raven is not. Raven is the antonym of Lexa.

 

_“_ _Ah! Welcome everyone! We are all very thrilled to have you here,” the lead producer announced as he collected some papers and straightened them up._

_Lexa was sitting nervously at the table, surrounded by strangers. This was her first table reading, at her first major film. Lexa composed herself charmingly, but deep in the core of her stomach, she was shaking._

_She looked around the table, assessing her cast, some were distracted on their phones, others were flipping through their scripts and the rest were eyeing the producers awaiting their next move._

_“So!” The lead producer began, “today I’d like for everyone to get to know each other as I’m aware this is the first time you’re all in each other’s presence. We are going to read through the first five scenes, and just get a feel for your character, not mention memorising some of those lines. We begin filming in a couple of days,” he clapped his hands together, “Lexa! What a joy it is to have you here cast as our lead, we’ve heard a lot about you from the LA Screen Acting Academy.”_

_Lexa puffed up like a peacock, with a smirk across her face. Oh, she was going to be fine here._

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_The producers smiled intensely, some of the cast rolled their eyes, others were sparkling at the fact Lexa was in their cast._

_“Okay. Turn to page 3, start with the hospital scene. Cue Lexa and the medics,” he said flipping his pages._

_Everyone took a breath, wriggling their muscles out of their catatonic state, getting into character. Naturally majority of the cast weren’t set in the hospital, but it helped to get their head in the game along with everyone else._

_Lexa eyed her lines, taking a breath, but just as she was about to start the producer interrupted, “hang on, where’s Reye-,”_

_“Sorry I’m late!”_

_A girl stumbled through the doors, with a burger in her hand, hair all over her face and papers falling to the ground._

_“You,” she picked up a paper, “would not,” and another, “believe the shit I have been through today,” and the last one. She moved clumsily to the chair next to Lexa who looked horrified at the disturbance._

_“My flight was delayed,” she began again, “I missed breakfast_ and _lunch,” she took a huge bite out of her burger, almost collapsing in a heap at the orgasmic taste in her mouth, “my taxi got lost, and this place is a damn maze to get through! I had to ask four different people where ‘The Reading Room’ was,” she said making quotation marks with her free hand._

_“Raven Reyes,” the producer sighed, looking skyward as if asking for divine intervention to keep him sane._

_“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” she said taking another bite of her burger._

_Lexa was distraught. This is Raven Reyes? The Raven Reyes. Who is in fact, her co-star. The person she would be working with the most. Oh god. What has she gotten herself into._

_“Hey,” the brunette said finishing off her burger and wiping her hands on one of her many napkins, “I’m Raven,” she extended her hand out to Lexa._

_“I’m aware,” Lexa replied, hesitantly taking the girl’s hand in her own, “Alexandria Woods.”_

_Raven choked on her breath, “well excuse the fuck outta me, miss fancy-pants,” she flailed her hands in the air mockingly._

_Lexa flashed irritation._

_“What’s the hold-up, let’s get going,” Raven said aloud, collecting her stack of papers, turning to Page 1._

_“Page 3, Reyes,” the producer groaned._

_Raven nodded and flipped a couple pages._

_Lexa internally sighed and spoke to herself, “this is going to be a long year.”_

 

Lexa giggled at the thought, “hey Raven, remember when we first met?”

“Oh my god, yeah. I thought you were a stuck-up bitch,” she gave a toothy smile at the green-eyed girl.

Lexa playfully shook her head, “and I thought you were an immature, chaotic, crude child.”

Raven nodded her head slowly in thought, contemplating the words carefully, “yeah, not wrong.”

The girls laughed, and Raven pulled at her backpack, opening the zips and ruffling inside. The sun had set, leaving a dark orange in its wake. Black velvet enveloped the once cerulean expanse, stars gradually budding the sky the more it took over. The city now twinkling with the reflection of the moon and countless lights that lit up the river around it.

“Guess what I have,” Raven says smugly as she pulled out a fully-rolled blunt.

Lexa’s eyes went wide with excitement, “Raven! Where did you get that?”

“I’m Raven Reyes.”

Lexa squinted her eyes and feigned annoyance causing the brown-eyed girl to grin. She lit the blunt and moved to lay on her back with Lexa doing the same. The girl’s shoulders were touching as they stared up at the stars. Raven sucked on the blunt, exhaling gently and passed it onto Lexa.

“God, I remember the first time I made you do this, you were so reluctant.”

Lexa smiled at the memory, inhaling the blunt, “of course I was. I’d never done anything like that before. You were and _are_ a terrible influence.”

“I cracked the great Alexandria Woods,” Raven grinned as she took the blunt from Lexa’s fingers.

Lexa scoffed and moved her free hand behind her head, “hardly. I will _never_ smoke with anyone else _but_ you.”

The brown-eyed girl chuckled, “I’d hope not. It’s kinda our thing,” she sucked in the blunt again before passing it back.

“I’m glad we’ve kept this tradition going,” Lexa smiled inhaling the blunt, this time eliciting a cough from the girl which made Raven laugh, “ahem, sorry. I hope you enjoy this rebellious side of me, Reyes. This _side_ only ever comes out with you, specifically when we are alone.”

“Damn straight, Woods. I’m glad you’re comfortable with me, though. I like the relaxed you way more than the uptight one,” Raven pinched the blunt, inhaling and exhaling softly.

Lexa smiled, and repositioned her head so it was resting on the girl’s shoulder, still laying on her back, “I’ve really missed you.”

“Same. It’s hard not having your partner in crime by your side. I’m so fucking happy we are cast together again. It sucks we’ve only seen each other like… five times since parallax? I don’t even know anymore. Last time I saw you was when that bitch broke your heart.”

Raven clenched her spare fist and banged it against the tank in anger. She hated Costia. Raven was so protective of Lexa. Sure, they had an extremely rocky start to their friendship, as Lexa’s wall were up _far_ too high, and her shell was _far_ too hard, but a year is a long time to get to know someone. Raven was 19 and Lexa was 21 when they got cast on Parallax. It took a year to film and then after that they split ways, getting parts elsewhere. Lexa got cast onto a TV show called ‘The Odd One’ which took off, and Raven got cast in another movie. Costia was on Lexa’s cast, which is where they met. Raven and Lexa kept in contact throughout that year, with Lexa updating her progress with Costia. The pair’s respective screenings attended the same cons, which allowed them to see each other and they could catch up. Thankfully Raven turned 21 towards the end of that year so they could go clubbing and such.

Lexa and Costia started dating early on in that year, Raven always got bad vibes around the girl. But Lexa was happy. Until she wasn’t. Early on into the following year, The Odd One got called back for a Season 2, however Costia wanted to leave the show to pursue another gig, effectively killing her character off in the show. It was a shock. Until it wasn’t.

She left for a different show because someone on _that_ cast interested her _more_ than Lexa did. Lexa was a mess after that. Fortunately for Raven, she was out of work that year, so she spent _a lot_ of time with Lexa where she filmed and helped her through her heartbreak. She couldn’t stay long however as there was a situation back home involving her mother that she needed to attend to. Raven and Lexa did _a lot_ of smoking during that time. Raven snarled like a dog whenever Costia’s name was mentioned. During their Parallax year, when Raven got Lexa high for the first time, she told Raven her story. The same story she told Clarke today. From that day onward, Raven vowed to protect Lexa from anything else, and be the friend she never had growing up. But, she failed. She was too far away, and Lexa got hurt anyway.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Raven,” Lexa was shaking Raven’s arm and she snapped out of it.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m a dumbass. I got thinking about-,”

“I know,” Lexa cut her off, as she inhaled her last breath of the blunt before turning it to Raven who took it eagerly, successfully finishing it, and she tossed the rest off the edge.

The brown-eyed girl stretched both her arms above her head and sighed happily, as her mind was slowly being sent to another world. The girl’s stared at the pitch black, million-star sky, getting lost in the constellations above.

Lexa too felt her soul leaving her body. It’s been far too long since they’ve done this.

“Sooo…” Raven drawled out, “how was the gallery with, Clarke,” she teased the name by popping the ‘K’ in her mouth.

Lexa’s smile went from ear to ear at the name, and she was thankful the girls weren’t looking at each other.

“Amazing,” Lexa breathed, eyes fixated on the stars above, which were moving in patterns.

“Oh, come on Woods, give mama more than that,” Raven said playfully but Lexa was out of it.

“Woooah. Raven. I have noooooot been this high in yeaaars,” Lexa said as her mind was soaring.

Raven laughed, still waiting for a response which Lexa picked up on, she collected her thoughts for a reply:

“Honestly, Raven. Imma be real. Right here. Right now. With you. On this… water tank,” Lexa closed her eyes, recalling the morning’s events. Clarke, with her _god so tight_ dress, her piercing blue eyes, her angelic smile. Her soft embrace, the way she held her when she cried. Sacrificing her spot to display her own art, for her grandmother’s.

“She put my grandmother’s painting in the Aurelie.”

“She what? How?”

“Well, I gave her a painting cause she liked it. And then she put it in the Aurelie.”

“Bro, how fucking high are you right now, that sounds crazy,” Raven laughed.

Lexa giggled, Raven was right. For someone who wasn’t completely caught up with the ‘Clarke and Lexa’ story and what they’ve done and been through already, it wouldn’t make sense. Lexa made a mental note of explaining the events properly when she would focus appropriately.

“I’ll tell you the full story tomorrow,” Lexa said waving her hand in the way.

Raven mentally agreed.

Woah.

Lexa lied before when she said she was the most relaxed she has been in her whole life, because _now_ she is the most relaxed she has ever been in her whole life. Her mind kept flashing to Clarke. She can’t believe what she did for her. For her and her grandmother. God, it’s crazy! Maybe she really is an angel.

“Raven,” Lexa called out.

There was no response.

“Raven Reyes,” Lexa said a little louder.

“Mm. What. What’s up,” Raven turned her head to look at Lexa, homing in on her face.

“Clarke. She’s… she’s really kind to me. She’s so beautiful, Raven.”

Raven flashed her a cheesy smile, “oh yeah? It’s not like you to fawn like this.”

Lexa giggled cutely and stared back up to the endless sky, “and who’s fault is that?”

“Do you like her?” Raven said, trying to be as serious as possible.

Lexa tossed her words around in her head for a few moments.

“I think so. But. I don’t know,” the green-eyed girl gave out a frustrated sigh, “I’m scared, Raven.”

“Mhm,” Raven nodded her head up and down, understanding what the girl was saying, “I get that. It’s okay to be scared. You’ve been through so fucking much. I say, stay guarded, follow your heart,” Raven tapped Lexa’s chest, where her heart was, “trust that.”

Lexa smiled, “okay.”

The girls then remained silent for a long time after that. Lexa has no idea _where_ Raven got this blunt, but Lexa was pretty sure she was in a different solar system. In some ways, Lexa was disappointed because she had so much she wanted to tell the girl, and she wanted to hear what she had been up to as well, how her mother was going. But… in the other ways, letting herself go like this felt so good, she was floating with her best friend. Before she knew it, Lexa was back on earth, flying through the clouds, like a bird. A bird.

“Raven!” Lexa said abruptly, pulling Raven out of her own reverie.

“Mmm,” she hummed a response.

“My mind is doing you,” Lexa said, completely seriously.

“I’m sorry? What?” Raven said propping herself on her elbows in surprise.

Lexa giggled, “I mean, my is doing _a_ you.” Raven still looked confused.

“I’m soaring like a raven,” Lexa smiled, completely blissed out.

Raven smiled softly at the girl, who was completely not there with her. She let herself fall back and she went to rest her head against the girl’s shoulders.

“Me too, Lex,” Raven closed her eyes happily, “me too.”

 

//

 

“Are you kidding me!” Clarke shoved Jasper a little too aggressively.

The boy recoiled back on the sofa laughing loudly at the frustrated girl who pouted across from him.

“What’s that? I’ve beat you 3-0 now?” Jasper grinned smugly.

“Listen here asshole. You’re the Smash Bro’s expert. Not me, you’re basically cheating!”

Clarke set her controller down on her coffee table as she sipped once again at her wine.

“Well, you aren’t wrong. I _do_ have an advantage over you,” Jasper said doing the same, “to be fair, you were about to win, I just got lucky cause you slipped up.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, sipping at her wine again.

Clarke set up off the couch and moved the empty pizza boxes from the table into her kitchen and began washing some of her dishes.

“Oh, come on,” Jasper rolled his eyes, “are you seriously doing dishes right now?”

Clarke only hummed a response and Jasper sighed deeper into the couch.

“You know,” Jasper began, “I still can’t believe what you did for Lexa. Like, that’s really nice of you.”

Clarke smiled at the name as she continued to scrub away at her plates.

“It was the least I could do,” she replied, moving onto the cups.

Jasper smiled as he watched her work, noting the smile that seemed permanently stitched on her face since he mentioned the name.

“She’s different, Jas,” Clarke said as she began on her cutlery, “she’s golden. I know I’ve said it a thousand times, and you’ve listened to me go on about her all afternoon. But…” she paused as she began to dry to dishes with her cloth, “I don’t know. I’m so attracted to her. Like, oh my god Jas.”

Jasper chuckled at her antics, “I know. I’m happy today went so well for you. From what you told me, everything went as smoothly as could be.

Clarke nodded incessantly at the words.

Jasper finally got up off the couch, bringing their empty glasses over to Clarke, who began feverishly washing them out. Jasper knows this _all_ too well. Whenever Clarke was anxious, stressed, or excessively thinking about something, she would either do the dishes or house clean.

Jasper laughed, “well, I’m going to take my leave. It’s been a fun five hours, Clarke. I’m gonna catch a cab and crash, thanks for inviting me over.”

Clarke dropped her cloth and pulled the boy in for a hug, “no thank _you._ Thanks for listening to me talk about her for five hours, more like it. It was fun, I _will_ beat you one day Mr. Jordan,” Clarke said seriously, but they were both too buzzed to continue the improv and erupted in laughter instead.

They waved goodbye and then Jasper was out the door, leaving Clarke alone in her apartment. Clarke was ready to knock out at this point. She finished her drying, and then paced to her bathroom to brush her teeth and splash her face, thankfully she’s been in her pjs since Jasper arrived, so she just jumped onto her bed. Literally, she star-jumped onto the bed, sighing at the soft fabric smashing against her face.

She rolled onto her back, flicking the off switch on her lamp until there was no light left in the room. Clarke wiggled her way under her covers, with a smile still stitched onto her face.

“God, today went perfect,” she said aloud.

Everything went the way Clarke had wanted, well, reaction to the painting wise. She did not anticipate a heartfelt reunion between – what she would call her aunt – and her love interest. She was happy for them though, they clearly meant a lot to each other, even more so after Lexa told Clarke her story. Lexa’s story… how heart wrenching. Clarke couldn’t believe Lexa entrusted her with her story, when only three other people knew. Who had by that point known her extremely well. Clarke was lucky, and she knew it.

Images of Lexa flashed through her mind, her forest green eyes, her naturally beautiful curly hair, her angelic cheekbones, her chiselled jawline, her defined collarbones, her sleek shoulders, her muscled biceps, her slender waist, her toned stomach, her perfect thighs, her tanned skin, her ethereal smile…

Before Clarke knew it, her hands were sliding under her elastic waistband…

…her button-up shirts…

Clarke slid her hands under her underwear…

…her suspenders that strapped _too_ tightly over her shoulders…

Clarke let her fingers slide inside of her wet folds eliciting a loud moan…

…her smirk…

Clarke began to rub at her clit, making her back arch…

… her push lips…

Clarke slid a finger inside of herself, making her moan again. She continued to pump in and out of herself as she repeated those images in her head over and over again.

“Lexa,” she whispered out into the open as she slipped another finger in, “god,” she cried as she worked at herself tirelessly.

Clarke imagined that it was Lexa’s fingers inside of her instead of her own, and it worked like a charm. Before she knew it, her orgasm was building, _far_ too fast for her liking. Within minutes of her palm beating down on her clit she felt her orgasm take over her body, distributing pleasure to every part of her form.

Clarke was entirely blissed out as she recovered from her orgasm, thoughts still on Lexa. God, she was in way too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adore Raven as a character.  
> This chapter was extremely fun to write, everything is coming together!  
> Will Lexa ever succumb to her feelings? Find out soon *eyes emoji*  
> Feel free to comment and leave feedback - it is more then welcome!


	10. Chapter Ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I’ve returned. Honestly, I’ve been in a bit of a rut when it came to this story. I have a really bad habit of comparing myself to others and I got into my head about my own story, thinking it’s not good enough. But, alas! I will continue anyway, here is the next chapter. I’m not a vain person, but I’d really appreciate it if you guys left kudos and kind comments as it really does motivate me. In addition, I appreciate all and any feedback, if you guys want you can also provide suggestions/additions for the story :)

Clarke woke up to… knocking? On the door?

Clarke begrudgingly opens her eyes, hissing at how bright the sun was.

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

“What the hell?” Clarke sat up straight, rubbing at her eyes before looking out the window.

Clarke’s eyes widened, “is that the afternoon sun?!”

Clarke quickly reached over to get a hold of her phone, quickly tapping the screen to look at the time displayed on it, forgetting she has a watch on her wrist.

“12:32pm!” Clarke exclaimed.

“Griffin! I know you’re in there now! Let me in!” Clarke heard a woman yell angrily through her apartment door, which by the way, was at the opposite end of her apartment.

“Octavia?” Clarke said to herself in confusion before promptly getting up to answer the door.

12:32pm? Clarke has _never_ slept in _that_ late. What was happening to her? Holy shit.

Clarke opened the door quickly, so quickly that Octavia nearly fell through as she was preparing yet another rally of knocks.

“Can I help you?” Clarke said stupidly, annoyed at the interruption, somewhat still asleep.

“Yes, you damn well can!” The black-haired women said as she pushed past Clarke in a huff, going to take a seat at her little square dining table.

Clarke closed the door behind her before turning around to meet the girl’s strong gaze as she continued speaking, “you weren’t answering any of my texts! Or calls. It’s not like you to sleep in like this either, so I thought you’d died. I thought I’d come over and see what was up, I was banging on your door like an idiot for 10 minutes, I nearly called the police!”

Clarke laughed at her dramatics, “what texts?” Clarke said as she lit her phone up, eyes widening at the mass of notifications on her screen, “ah, _these_ ones.”

11 missed texts from Octavia, 4 missed calls.

“Jesus fuck,” Clarke exclaimed as she raked her free hand through her hair in exasperation.

Octavia only nodded her head as Clarke went to take the seat opposite to her, eyes never leaving her phone and she opened her and Octavia’s messages.

 **Octavia[7:38am]:** GRIFFIN

 **Octavia[7:38am]:** ARE YOU IGNORING ME OR WHAT’S UP

 **Octavia[7:38am]:** I HAVEN’T SEEN OR HEARD FROM YOU IN A WEEK

 **Octavia[7:39am]:** Also

 **Octavia[7:39am]:** Have you heard about Monty’s birthday party tonight?

 **Octavia[7:39am]:** If so, are you going?

 **Octavia[8:23am]:** Earth to Griffin

 **Octavia[9:01am]:** Heeeeeelloooooooooo

 **Octavia[10:43am]:** Holy shit.

 **Octavia[11:30am]:** I swear to god, Clarke. If you don’t answer me.

 **Octavia[11:50am]:** Fuck it, I’m coming over.

Clarke looked up at Octavia’s awaiting face with the most sheepish look. The girl only nodded at Clarke with a ‘yeah, _those_ notifications’ face.

“Sorry! I was just sleeping,” Clarke shrugged.

Octavia rested her elbows on the table, “which leads me to concern number two, you _don’t_ sleep in.”

Clarke was ready to protest but nothing came out as she knew Octavia was right, who only raised her eyebrows at the blonde’s surrender.

“I guess I was just tired, I don’t know… I have no excuse. Sorry to worry you...”

Octavia’s face completely softened at Clarke’s words thus ending the scolding session, she smiled, “it’s okay, anyway! So, to answer my messages, are you coming to Monty’s party tonight? The whole gang will be there.”

Clarke put her phone down on the table and let out an obnoxious yawn, “the gang?”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “oh my god, wake up!” She leant over the table and playfully slapped Clarke’s shoulder, “yeah, the gang. Jasper, Monty, Bell, Murphy, one of Monty’s other friends who he has the biggest crush on, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna ask him out and…” Octavia’s voiced lowered to a whisper, leaning in closer to Clarke, “this girl I like.”

Clarke’s brows shot up at that. Her statement about Monty and his boy-crush forgotten.

“Girl? Who?”

“Uhhh, you know what I’m just going to wait for you to meet her, she makes good first impressions.”

“Right…” Clarke said as she eyed her suspiciously, “and she’s coming, why?”

“Because I wanted an excuse to see her again and meet our friends.”

“Are you like, official?”

“God, no. I just like her a lot, and I think she likes me too. We spent a lot of time together last week. We met at a bar.”

“Classy,” Clarke scoffed.

“Yeah, I know how it _looks_. But it’s not like that. I was just getting my usual, she walks in and sees me at the bar, speedily taking the seat next to mine, introducing herself saying she’s from out of town. We start talking, and drinking, and she has this quirky attitude that fits so well with mine its utterly intoxicating,” she sighs at the thought, “we got each other’s numbers and we have been seeing each other here and there… coffees or lunches, whenever I had the time really… I’m so into her, Clarke.”

Clarke just sat there grinning like a proud mother as Octavia rambled on about this mystery girl. Clarke was almost offended at the fact that this is her first-time hearing about it, but Clarke was equally guilty as she hadn’t informed her of Lexa, who she had equally been seeing the past week. Octavia is as much of a best friend to Clarke then Jasper is, but Octavia works full-time at a lawyer’s firm, so they hardly get to see each other. Speaking of…

“How are you here right now? Don’t you have work?”

“I took today and tomorrow off so we can really party tonight, it’s been far too long since we have all hung out properly, being an adult sucks,” Octavia replied as she sunk into her chair, folding her arms in a huff like an angry child.

“Well!” Clarke got up from her chair abruptly, “let’s make the most of it! Breakfast?”

Clarke realised that it’s far too late for breakfast… Oh my god. She doesn’t even remember a time where she’s missed the ‘breakfast time period.’ What’s happening to her? Did last night’s orgasm just shift the continuum of time? What is Lexa doing to her? Is it even Lexa?

“Jesus, Clarke, why are you thinking so loud,” Octavia said getting up also, tucking her chair in.

Clarke chuckled awkwardly, “sorry, let’s get uh… lunch?”

Octavia smiled and nodded, picking up her keys from the table, “I’ll drive.”

 

//

 

“Absolutely not, Raven.”

“Why!” Raven pouted as she threw her hands up in exasperation.

Lexa opened to door to her on-set caravan, with Raven right on her heels.

“Why? Because I wouldn’t know anyone, that’s why!”

“That’s beside the point! You’d know me! Am I not enough?” Raven shot Lexa puppy eyes who was grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge.

“You are more than enough, you know that. But this is someone’s _birthday_ party, I don’t them _or_ their friend group, I’d feel out of place and I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

Raven rolled her eyes as she took to the caravan’s couch, “come on, Lexa! It would be good for you to meet new people.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows as she unscrewed the cap from her bottle, “nice try, Raven. I know your tactics.”

Raven sighed into the couch, pouting like a child as she watched Lexa sip feverishly at her bottle.

“Fine. If not for yourself, go for me. I’d really like to have someone else I know there… I may be all confidence and social excellence, but this girl makes me nervous… I’d like my best friend to be there… You don’t even have to drink, and we don’t have to stay long.”

Lexa looked at her best friend, seeing how genuine and vulnerable she was being in this moment. Lexa knew then that this _really_ was important to her. Considering they were incapacitated for most of the night last night, they didn’t get to have the ‘catch-up’ talk, so they started to have it this morning. It was pretty funny actually, they both fell asleep in their high reverie, with Lexa waking up first around 2am.

 

_“What the fuck?” Lexa sat up and looked around, trying to remember where she was._

_She planted her hands on the water tank, surveying the distant and beautiful glowing city ahead. She turned her head to see Raven passed out beside her, Lexa fumbled for her phone, hissing at the bright light._

_“2am!” Lexa exclaimed loudly, loud enough to stir Raven._

_“Lexa, kindly shut the fuck up,” and she went to turn over._

_Lexa wasn’t having it, she went to shake the girl awake, “Raven, it’s 2am, we have to be on set in 6 hours!”_

_At that, Raven jerked awake and sat up, “fuck!”_

_Raven copied Lexa’s befuddlement by looking around, trying to grasp their location._

_“Oh my god, I don’t even remember falling asleep,” she laughed._

_“Neither do I! Come on, we have to get going!”_

_Both girls stood up, but slowly so they didn’t fall over the edge since their heads were still foggy. Raven went down the ladder first, with Lexa following. Once they made it down safely, they promptly paced down the hill and into Raven’s car._

_“Come back to mine, we can stop at yours tomorrow, so you can change,” Raven said as she started her car._

_Lexa nodded and she slowly drifted back to sleep on Raven’s window._

_The next thing Lexa knew was waking up in Raven’s bed, with Raven beside her, a considerable distance between the two. Her alarm blaring indecently loud which caused Raven to stir too with a loud, “fuck!” And she threw her hands up in the air in annoyance._

_It was 6:30am, and they wanted to be able to eat something and prepare for the day ahead before heading on over to the set. Whilst they were having breakfast, Lexa caught Raven up on what_ really _happened with Clarke, from start to finish so everything made more sense to Raven. In turn, Raven informed her of this Octavia girl she’s been seeing all week and how attracted she is to her. It made Lexa smile, and she couldn’t stop thinking about Clarke the entire time._

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation, “fine, Raven. I’ll go.”

Raven instantly stood up and enveloped Lexa in the most bone-breaking hug possible, effectively squeezing all the air out of the unsuspecting brunette, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you, I love you, I love yo-,”

“Oh my god, damn, I get it,” Lexa said laughing as she wriggled herself out of Raven’s strong embrace, sucking air back in.

“It starts at 8pm. I’ll drive you to yours after we are done here since I already have my things in my car,” Raven grinned.

**KNOCK KNOCK**

“Woods, Reyes, hurry up, you’re wanted back on set,” a deep voice boomed from the other side of the door.

“Well, back to it,” Raven says as she clapped Lexa on her back before moving to the door.

 

//

 

“Lexa Woods hey… damn dude, you’re in deep too!” Octavia said stabbing a fry with her fork.

Clarke blushed as she picked up her hamburger, taking another bite out of it, “we’ve been busy it seems.”

Octavia hummed a yes as she chewed thoughtfully on her fry.

“I still can’t believe you put old Maggie’s painting in the gallery, like, damn Griffin, you got game.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I didn’t do it to woo her like that, I did it because… I don’t know. It meant a lot to her. I didn’t do it so I could get something out of it.”

“Such a romantic,” Octavia rolled her eyes.

Clarke absentmindedly reached for her milkshake, sucking on the straw in thought. Clarke has never felt this way before, about anyone. God, Lexa makes her feel so giddy inside. Clarke knows she has to tread these waters carefully though, Lexa has such a troubled and sensitive past, it would be foolish to take things too fast. Clarke has demons of her own that she knows she needs to work through before letting anyone get close to her. And even though Clarke got told a pretty big chuck of Lexa’s life yesterday, there is still so much more she wanted to know. What happened in those orphanages? Why wasn’t she fostered? Where did she receive her education? The orphanage? Why does she blame herself for Costia cheating on her? Was she her first relationship? How long has she known Raven?

“Clarke?”

“Hm? What?”

“You’re sucking on an empty milkshake over there,” Octavia deadpanned, stabbing another fry.

Clarke looked down at her hand that was holding the milkshake which was indeed empty and let out a hearty laugh.

“Sorry,” she said genuinely.

“No, it’s all good. You okay, though?”

“Perfect, just thinking about Lexa, I guess. She’s just… difficult, not in a bad way. She’s just got a lot off walls, all with good reason.”

Octavia nodded her head with understanding, “I understand… well, if there is anyone who can break down a wall, it’s you, Griffin.”

Clarke smiled at that, “I guess so, it’s going to be hard to see her now that she has started filming though.”

Octavia’s eyes brightened at that, “I almost forgot you said she’s famous or something, that’s so cool though!”

“It is until you realise you will hardly be able to see or spend time with her. Not to mention the press will get intense soon.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure she will get days off or something, I doubt she is on every day.”

“I suppose,” Clarke shrugged, “it’s something I will have to talk to her about I guess.”

Clarke started laughing as she said that, “I’m talking like we are about to start dating. Jesus, I don’t even know if she likes me yet.”

Octavia picked up her last fry and shoved it into her mouth, “all in good time, my friend.”

“Speaking of time, what time is this party, anyway?” Clarke asked as she stabbed at her burger, having lost her appetite.

“8pm, I suggest getting ready at 7pm so you can be there on time.”

“Oh, please. Am I ever late?”

Octavia stared at her for a few moments in disbelief at the words, “are you kidding me, Clarke? You were once 45 minutes late to a hangout because you couldn’t get your eyeliner right.”

Clarke was about to fire back with something witty but kept quiet because her best friend was right. Octavia just nodded with a ‘that’s right’ face.

There was a short silence before Clarke stared at the table and said, “I’ve been painting her.”

“Fuck… Clarke, you have it worse than I thought.”

“I know…”

“You stopped painting people after your dad…”

“I know,” Clarke’s breath hitched at the word.

Clarke used to love painting portraits of people, because that was Jake’s speciality and he taught her everything he knew, how to really capture and paint a person’s essence. She enjoyed painting males, but what she was really passionate about was painting the female figure due to their slender physique and natural beauty. Her and her father would often paint human portraits or various other types of paintings side by side, sharing coffee and smiles…

 

“ _Dad!” Clarke gasped at the wet sensation fresh on her nose._

_She wiped at the blue paint with the back of her wrist and smirked as she lunged at her father’s cheek with her free hand that was holding a red-tipped paintbrush. He let out a hearty laugh as he cupped his daughter’s cheek tenderly with his free hand and she leaned into his warm touch._

_“You two better not be making a mess,” Abby teased as she walked into their studio, placing two cups on the table in between their easels, coffee for Jake and tea for Clarke, she wasn’t old enough for coffee yet._

_“Of course not,” Clarke grinned, feigning innocence and she looked up at her mother._

_“Say that to your nose and your father’s cheek,” Abby laughed as she came around the easels to see what they were painting, “let me see what you two have been so busy doing.”_

_Her mother let out a light gasp as she stood behind her family, as she did every time her eyes laid on their work. Abby’s eyes glowed as she looked over her husband’s work, moving to gently massage his shoulders and he leant his head back to rest on her stomach._

_He had painted a beautiful outdoor setting, with the three of them having a picnic. A memory formed not that long ago, a time when they capitalised on the beautiful day they were given last Sunday. It was a long shot of the hills around them, with the lake in the background surrounding three small figures enjoying their picnic together. Jake knew Abby was smiling and it reflected onto his own face when she planted a kiss atop his head before moving behind Clarke and kneeling behind her, so she could wrap her arms around her daughter and let her head rest on her shoulder._

_Clarke had painted a woman in a red dress, who was sitting on a swing. Clarke hadn’t quite mastered faces yet, so she painted the girl looking down, with her brown hair falling down and around her face and shoulders. Her hands were gripping at the chains and her legs suspended in the air._

_“I saw her the other day when I went to the park, I thought it was aesthetic,” Clarke beamed with pride._

_Abby’s eyes widened as she moved to look at her daughter, “Clarke, you’re 8, how do you know such a big word?”_

_Clarke raised her arm and pointed to the man next to her who only smiled toothily, “what? It’s a good word!”_

_Abby hummed and planted a kiss atop Clarke’s head, “I need to go to work, don’t get up to too much trouble while I’m away.”_

_Clarke giggled when her dad sent her a cheeky smile before standing up and stretching, “I’m going to walk your mother out, I’ll be right back,” he ruffled his daughter’s hair and moved away leaving Clarke alone in the studio. She eyed Jake’s coffee cup on the table and moved towards it with the most childish grin on her face, she’d never tried coffee before because her parents always told her she was too young for caffeine like that, but now, now was her chance. She picked up the cup and eyed the liquid before bringing it to her lips and sipping at it, her face contorted at the taste, “ew!”_

_She placed the cup back on the table before wiping at her mouth with her sleeve, “coffee is so gross, I’m never drinking that again.”_

“Ah, thank you,” Clarke smiled as the waiter placed her hazelnut cappuccino in front of her, who offered a smile in response.

She brought the cup to her mouth and sipped, blissed out as the liquid slid down her throat.

 _“_ That’s not entirely all true though, I’ve painted my dad a few times since then,” Clarke said as she mirrored Octavia who set her cup back down on the table.

“That is true, but your dad has been the only exception. You haven’t painted an actual portrait other than him since you were 16.”

“I know… But O, if you saw her, you would know why. I’ve never been so inspired before, she’s my muse. She’s truly breathtaking, her beauty is so natural and ethereal, I painted her the first day I met her.”

_Which was technically the third day, when she left Lexa’s apartment after having driven her home._

Octavia stared at Clarke for a while, concern and worry flashing across her face, “I’m worried for you, Clarke. This is serious. You’re _painting_ her. You swore off that. What if she hurts you?”

“Then she hurts me.”

Octavia deadpanned, “be serious.”

“I am Octavia, I don’t know what’s happening or how it will turn out, but I enjoy her presence, she’s kind and good people. Even if this _does_ end in hurt, I’m just going to enjoy the time I have with her now, I haven’t been this happy in such a long time… It feels nice. I’m more then satisfied with being her friend and I don’t want to jeopardise that, I know she views me as a friend also.”

Octavia smiled at her friend, “okay.”

Clarke appreciated her friend’s concern and care, in truth, Clarke _was_ a little scared at how this was going to pan out. She knew this would undoubtedly end in heartbreak because her feelings would never be reciprocated, but god, Lexa was worth it.

“ _This is so stupid, I’M so stupid,”_ Clarke said to herself and she sipped at her coffee once more.

“Either way, I’m here for you, Clarke. I know I’m busy all the time, but truly, reach out any time, I want to be here for you through this.”

Clarke smiled, “thank you, I’m sorry too you know… I’ve been so bad at reaching out to people this year. I just threw myself into my work and painting, I haven’t made much time for anyone… I don’t even see my mom that much. I’ve missed you a lot. I can only handle so much of Jasper,” Clarke laughed which elicited a laugh from the girl across in response before Clarke continued, “how has work been anyway?”

“Boring. So much paperwork, but I’m working my way up the ranks which is all I could really ask for I suppose.”

“Do you still want to be a lawyer?”

“Sure. I’m fascinated by it, but that goal is unattainable right now, and most likely for a while. I’m still saving… At this rate I’ll be able to afford law school when I’m 40,” Octavia laughed but Clarke only listened, “I’m surprisingly learning a lot at the firm though, there are some super interesting cases that I’ve had to read and sort through. I just wish I didn’t have to work full-time, I miss our friends.”

Clarke saw the sadness emanating off her friend’s face, “I’m sorry O, I wish things were different.”

“Same, 14-year-old Octavia definitely wouldn’t have thought 24-year-old Octavia would be in this position 10 years later,” she sighed.

“Hey,” Clarke went to grab the black-haired girl’s hands, “listen to me, I know it’s shitty now… but things are going to start working out for you. We’ve been through a lot, but I can promise you things are going to start getting better for us. I know it will. I can feel it,” Clarke smiled genuinely, and Octavia nodded her head, releasing the tension in her shoulders, unaware of how worked up she was getting.

“Stand up loser, I want to hug you,” Octavia said as she got up out of her seat, tucking it behind her.

Clarke smiled and obliged as she mirrored her friend’s actions. She walked over and pulled Octavia into a tight hug, and they held on to each other, “thanks for being you, Clarke. I’m so glad we’re friends. 14-year-old Octavia _also_ never would have thought that we’d be best friends 10 years later, thanks for being stubborn.”

She released Clarke from the embrace who only smiled and said, “of course, I know a good friend when I see one, even if you thought I was annoying.”

The pair walked outside of the restaurant they were in and hopped back into Octavia’s car after the girl explained that she had somewhere she had to be, and that she was going to drop Clarke back home.

“Thanks for driving O, I’ll see you later!” Clarke said as she stepped outside of the girl’s car.

“You betcha,” Octavia replied before she sped off, leaving Clarke to make her way into her complex, up the stairs, and into her apartment.

“Home sweet home,” she announced loudly as she slumped her handbag onto her dining table.

She sauntered over to her couch and swung her leg up dramatically, letting herself fall flat onto the cushions, which took her breath away on her impact.

She stared up at her plain, white ceiling, for what felt like 10 minutes… just staring. Sometimes it feels nice to just stare at something, with nothing particular on your mind. But, the brain has a way of stringing thoughts together, from one thing to the next until she was thinking about the memory of her father that she reminisced when she was waiting for her coffee. It’s strange, Clarke didn’t freak out today when her father got brought up, why was that?

Clarke hummed to herself at the strange revelation, maybe she finally is getting over everything? Clarke then thought back to her conversation with Octavia and her reaction to finding out that she was painting Lexa. Truthfully, it didn’t even click with Clarke that Lexa was the first person besides her father that she had painted in 7 years. It just… happened, she couldn’t control herself. God, she was in so deep, she wished she could just bury herself alive and be done with it at this point. They’ve only known each other a week, and they hardly know anything about each other, but Lexa makes Clarke’s heart skip in a way _no one_ else ever has in her life.

She huffed and pulled out her phone,

“Ugh, it’s only 3:00pm.”

To pass the time, she flicked through her social medias, scrolling and scrolling until her thumb hurt. She opened her twitter and began scrolling through her timeline, liking things here and there, she hadn’t been on her twitter timeline for days, so she was happy she had something to flick through to pass the time.

However, she slowly got bored and began swiping faster and faster till things were blurry until she scrolled past a photo of someone she knew was familiar, she halted her thumb and began scrolling upwards until she found the photo she was searching for. When she finally found it, she let out a light gasp and her eyes sparkled; it was a picture of Lexa on set with some woman she had never seen before, and they were smiling at each other candidly.

The description for the photo on the tweet was: _Lexa’s back baby! God, she’s so hot, I’m swooning._

Clarke furrowed her brow at the words, a pang of jealousy spreading across her chest. She sat up then, eyes never leaving the photo, who even was this person that tweeted this? Clarke clicked on the profile, remembering it was some random person she followed back some time ago, who hit her with the “hey, follow for follow?” Clarke didn’t care, so she agreed.

“I guess this is only the start,” Clarke said aloud.

Everyone will know Lexa is here, and she will soon be the talk of the city, and there was nothing Clarke could do about it. Clarke shook her head free of the rising jealousy in the pit of her stomach, she couldn’t afford to think this way. Lexa was a friend.

She set up off the couch and proceeded to her kitchen sink, where she turned the tap on and splashed her face repeatedly as if it would wash the jealousy away.

That was _her_ Lexa.

But was she?

No.

Would Clarke like her to be?

Yes.

But Lexa is only her friend.

Clarke unlocked her phone to look at the photo again, and reflected Lexa’s smile in the photo, she looked stunning. She was in casual clothing, hair loose around her shoulders, you could see a camera crew setting up in the foreground of the photo.

Clarke was getting unnecessarily territorial about Lexa and she shunned herself for it. But how could she not? She had gotten so close to Lexa in such a short amount of time, she had opened up to Clarke, cried with Clarke, laughed with Clarke, embraced Clarke, gave Clarke her phone number… Her phone number…

“Fuck it,” Clarke announced as she opened her text messages with Lexa and began furiously typing.

 **Clarke[3:48pm]:** Hey Lexa! Thinking of you today, I hope your first day of filming goes well!

Clarke sent it off as soon as she finished typing the last word, without even realising what she had done.

“Shit!”

Clarke eyed her text, “oh well, it’s out there now.”

She placed her phone on her countertop and made her way into her bedroom, so she could sort out an outfit for the night. Clarke really didn’t feel like dressing up, after all it was only a house party, and _maybe_ going out clubbing after. Either way, Clarke wasn’t about to dress up as much as she usually would, her mood plummeted a little after seeing that tweet.

It made Clarke feel as though she would never see Lexa again, especially now that filming has started. Truthfully, she was just sad. She shook the thoughts away, and focused on thoughts of her friends, the friends she hasn’t seen in weeks. This worked like a charm as the instant she thought of her friends she smiled, most of them had been friends since school so they were all exceptionally close.

Clarke pulled a red sundress from her wardrobe and laid it on her bed, as well as bringing her black flats to rest on the bed also.

“Done,” Clarke smiled, “that was easy.”

Clarke waltzed back over to her phone and was surprised to see a notification, Clarke ashamedly grinned from ear to ear when saw Lexa’s name.

 **Lexa[4:10pm]:** What a pleasant surprise this was, I appreciate you remembering, Clarke.

 **Lexa[4:10pm]:** It’s going as well as it can be, I didn’t get much sleep last night, thanks to Raven. Because of that, I’ve been having a hard time remembering my lines today, but everyone is extremely forgiving considering it’s the first day.

Clarke was beaming.

Is she 23 or 13?

It didn’t matter, she revelled in the feeling of having a teenage crush again, it felt so nice and refreshing.

Her thumbs hovered over the screen as she chewed her lip over what to reply.

 **Clarke[4:13pm]:** Raven seems like a wonderful influence on you

Clarke was surprised to see Lexa’s reply was almost instantaneous.

 **Lexa[4:14pm]:** You have no idea, Clarke.

 **Clarke[4:14pm]:** Aren’t you supposed to NOT have your phone with you while you work? :P

 **Lexa[4:14pm]:** Fortunately for me, I’m on my tenner. How’s your day been? I hope your night fared better than mine.

Clarke was _actually_ having a text conversation with Lexa, they haven’t done this before. Clarke was insanely giddy right now, she propped herself up on her countertop, so she could rest her legs as she responded.

 **Clarke[4:15pm]:** I must have because I actually SLEPT IN this morning, that NEVER happens. I haven’t slept in since I was 18, it was strange and weird and I’m not a fan.

 **Clarke[4:15pm]:** And so far, my day has been splendid, I caught up with a friend for lunch that I haven’t seen in a while, so that was nice.

Clarke absentmindedly began swinging her legs in the air like a child whose legs were too short to reach the ground.

 **Lexa[4:16pm]:** Gee, did I exhaust you that much yesterday that I broke your sleeping habits?

 **Lexa[4:16pm]:** And that’s nice, I’m happy for you

 **Clarke[4:17pm]:** Oh, totally. Spending time with you is SOOO exhausting, I’m surprised I’m not still asleep!

 **Clarke[4:17pm]:** Nah, I enjoy your company a lot, you could never exhaust me

 **Lexa[4:17pm]:** I could definitely think of ways that I could exhaust you

Clarke was NOT expecting that response, she started choking on her own saliva as her swallow didn’t go down properly, did Lexa just?

It looked like Lexa didn’t think she would type that response either because she quickly, far too quickly, began typing follow up replies.

 **Lexa[4:17pm]:** Like rock-climbing!

 **Lexa[4:17pm]:** Or hiking!

 **Lexa[4:18pm]:** Um, anyway, my break is over, it was great talking with you, Clarke

Clarke finished chugging her water and wiped her mouth with her sleeve which had been a habit of hers since she was a child. Clarke laughed at how exasperated Lexa was being, it clearly wasn’t an intentional innuendo.

 **Clarke[4:21pm]:** You too, Lexa. Break a leg!

 **Clarke[4:21pm]:** If that even applies…

 **Clarke[4:21pm]:** Ps. If you actually did want to go rock-climbing or hiking, I would be totally all for it

 

//

 

“What the fuck is wrong with your face,” Raven was eyeing Lexa as she stood on the sides looking absolutely mortified.

“I may have kind of slipped an innuendo when I was texting Clarke.”

Raven laughed, “show me, weirdo.”

Lexa begrudgingly brought her phone up to show Raven her last few texts with Clarke and Raven let out a knee-slapping laugh, “oh my god, Lexa! This is so good!”

Lexa slapped Raven’s shoulder, “be serious!”

“Nice coverup, idiot. On the plus side, looks like you just set yourself up for two dates with her,” Raven handed Lexa back her phone, “besides I doubt she even took it like that.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

_Little did they know Clarke nearly died._

“We only have a few hours left, so get it together, Woods,” Raven teased as she turned her back to Lexa and walked over to ask her stunt coordinator a question.

“Right…” Lexa said, “get it together, Woods.”

 

//

 

It was 7pm on the dot and Clarke did as Octavia said and began doing her makeup for the night. She was in a considerably better mood in comparison to her mood when she was picking out her outfit earlier.

She played music from her phone as she did her eyeliner and mascara, swaying her hips and humming to the lyrics. She additionally put on some light foundation before brushing her hair and spraying herself with a vanilla-scented perfume.

She paced into her bedroom and picked up the sundress off the bed, promptly sliding it over her figure, and slipped into her flats.

“How do I look?” She turned to Kibbles who was laying on her bed, watching her every move, he chirped in response.

“Oh my god, you finally responded to something I said, this is the best day of my life!” She went over and gave him a scratch on the head before picking up her black handbag and phone.

She arranged for Octavia to pick her up at 7:45pm and she did not disappoint, as soon as the clock ticked over, Clarke heard knocking on her door.

Clarke swiftly opened it in response and Octavia’s mouth fell open.

“Oh my god, you’re actually ready.”

Clarke only smirked in response, “let’s get going, shall we?”

Clarke walked out, locking the door behind her and the pair began their walk out the complex and into the older woman’s car.

“This Lexa chick is changing your life,” Octavia said as she started her car, “you’re actually on time, you’re never on time.”

Clarke laughed at the comment, “it’s a new year’s resolution.”

“You’re a month too early for that, sunshine.”

Clarke laughed and hummed a tune for the rest of the ride before Octavia pulled into Monty’s driveway, the girl’s got out the car and made it over to the door, Octavia knocking obnoxiously.

“Coming!” They heard from behind the door.

A brown-haired, Asian boy opened the door shooting them pearly smiles, “Clarke!”

He pulled the blonde into a tight embrace, “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too, Monty. Happy Birthday.”

“I guess I’ll go fuck myself then,” Octavia teased as she stood beside the embracing pair.

“O, shut up. I saw you 20 minutes ago,” Monty deadpanned.

Octavia grinned at the response and the pair made their way inside the house and through to the living room, where all the noise was coming from.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Monty extended his arms, gesturing to the house around him.

“I still can’t believe you have your own house,” Clarke gaped, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Clarke!”

The blonde jumped at the sudden shout, and was quickly swept up by a tall, well-built man with shaggy brown hair and a kind smile.

“God, Bell, you’re gonna break my back,” Clarke breathed out and he let her go.

Octavia moved beside the man and punched his shoulder, “sup, bro, long time no see.”

“O, I saw you 20 minutes ago.”

“Maybe I just want the same treatment Clarke is getting!”

Everyone laughed, oh how Clarke missed these guys.

“Who else is here?” Clarke asked.

Bellamy replied, “so far, just you, me, O, Monty, and Murphy is somewhere in the kitchen.”

“John!” He called out.

“Bellamy, I swear to god, I will kick your ass if you call me that one more time,” a man slinked from around the corner, dead serious as he spoke.

His frown shifted slightly at the sight of the blonde and went over to hug her, “good to see you again, Clarke.”

“You too, Murph.”

Clarke looked around at her friends, a smile exploded across her features, her chest swelling with pride. This was her group of friends. Her family.

“I’ve missed you guys,” she spoke out.

“Don’t get all sappy on us now,” Murphy replied.

“What he _means_ to say is, he misses you too,” Bellamy corrected.

Monty looked at Clarke, “want a drink?”

Clarke nodded in response and followed him through to the kitchen where he poured some liquid into a red solo cup. She took it graciously and sipped at it before distorting her face which elicited a smirk from Monty, who was watching eagerly.

“God, Monty, what the hell is this?”

“My own creation.”

“It’s so strong! I’ll be drunk off this cup alone.”

“Let’s hope not,” Octavia interrupted as she entered the kitchen and began pouring herself a cup also, “we have lots planned for tonight, so you can’t tap out early.”

Clarke grimaced at the thought, but she was with her friends, so how could she grimace? At that, they heard a knock on the door and someone moving to respond to it.

Bellamy yelled out, “Monty, Nathan is here!”

Clarke’s eyes widened, Nathan? Nah, it can’t be her Nathan. That’s impossible. Monty moved away to greet the newcomer and Clarke just sipped at her drink, she somehow enjoyed the burn as it slid down her throat. She crept back into the living room and nearly dropped her cup when she saw the newcomer standing in the centre of the room, surrounded by her friends. It _was_ her Nathan.

What the fuck.

“What the fuck,” she breathed, “Miller?”

The man turned around and widened his eyes at the blonde, “Griffin?”

He started to wipe his hands on his trousers, Clarke assumed they were sweating because he was nervous.

“You guys know each other?” Murphy asked as she slunk into one of the couches.

“Yeah, they work together,” Monty replied innocently.

Nathan was aghast as he looked upon Monty’s face, “how come you never mentioned you knew Clarke?”

“I don’t know, wanted to make it a surprise, I guess. Relax babe,” Monty said as he wrapped an arm around Nathan.

“Babe?” Clarke’s brows shot up.

Nathan looked like he was going to pass out.

“Yeah, I finally asked him out this morning when we were having breakfast because this one was too shy to do it himself,” Monty smiled and noticed his boyfriend’s condition, “god, you’re so pale, let me get you a drink,” at that, the Asian boy set off into the kitchen leaving Nathan in the middle of the room, the rest of her friends engaged in conversation with each other.

Clarke made her way over to Nathan, “why are you so tense?”

Nathan looked at Clarke sheepishly, “I didn’t know you were friends with Monty.”

“I mean, I admit seeing you here is surreal, but we’re friends, right? Why are you looking at me like I’m the devil?”

Nathan only stared in response before he almost whispered a reply, “because now you know I’m gay.”

Clarke laughed lightly at the anticlimactic response, “Nathan, I’ve known for a while. My bi-dar is well in tune.”

Nathan’s brows raised at Clarke’s words, “yes, Nathan, I’m bi. Why were you scared? Did you think I was going to judge you or something?”

Nathan shrugged, “maybe, I don’t know. I’ve had some really bad experiences in the past about this stuff, and we work so closely together… I don’t know.”

Clarke raised her hand to rest atop Nathan’s shoulder, “it’s okay. We’re good. I couldn’t imagine a better spouse for Monty.”

Nathan instantly relaxed at the words and he let a huge grin plaster his face before the front door swung open with Jasper waltzing in, “I’m here, bitches!”

“Hey!” Octavia called out from the couch, “that’s my line!”

“Sorry about it,” Jasper teased as he set his backpack down.

Everyone made their way to greet Jasper, passing him around for hugs. The gang was finally back together. Clarke felt a warmth spread across her chest which she knew wasn’t from the alcohol.

“Oh,” Jasper said, pulling away from the last hug down the line, “there are two women outside, they said they’ll be here any minute.”

At that, the group heard the two women come through the door, closing it behind them, and the entire group peered their heads to see who the newcomers were, and out came Raven and Lexa.

Clarke actually dropped her cup this time, with liquid caking the floor, luckily missing everyone as she was furthest away.

“Shit!” She exclaimed, drawing _everyone’s_ attention.

“Clarke?” Monty said, and the crowd parted like the red sea around her leaving her exposed to every eye in the room, including the newcomers.

Both Raven and Lexa’s jaw dropped, Lexa more so. She looked the blonde up and down, taking in her red sundress and her beautifully done makeup, she did however also notice the blood draining from her face.

“You okay, Clarke?” Lexa said, a light laugh leaving her mouth.

All eyes were now on Lexa, all jaws dropped, “you guys know each other, too?” Bellamy gaped.

“Holy shit, I am nowhere near drunk enough for this creepy small world bullshit,” Murphy moved to grab his drink from the table, “do you just know everyone, Clarke?”

Clarke broke her gaze from Lexa to meet Murphy’s, then looked down at the massive puddle, spreading across the hardwood floor, “uh, let me clean this.”

Monty quickly intervened, “don’t worry about it, Clarke, let me clean it up. You go introduce the girls to our friends,” and he set off before she could reply.

She moved around the puddle and closer to her friends, she looked between the newcomers and her friends, Octavia was beaming at Raven, and Clarke noticed this.

“Hold on… O, the girl you were talking about is Raven?!”

Octavia didn’t even register Clarke’s words as she moved to greet the brunette with a hug.

Clarke was going to pass out.

“I need to sit down,” she announced as she quickly set off to get as far away from the living room as possible.

She traipsed through some hallway and found a spare bedroom where she quickly opened the door and sat down on the bed in there. She ruffled her hair, “what the fuck.”

Clarke felt like she was going insane, was Raven and Lexa really here? Or was Monty’s concoction enough to make her hallucinate.

“Hey there.”

And that was her answer.

There Lexa was, leaning against the door frame to the spare bedroom. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a lilac button-up shirt that was tucked skilfully into her jeans, wrapped by a belt, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. She casually had her hands in her back-pockets as she looked down at Clarke on the bed.

“You doing okay?” She spoke again.

Clarke broke her stare to meet the girl’s concerned eyes, and smiled, “yeah, I’m okay. Just overwhelmed. I think I’ve had my fill of ‘what a small world’ for the rest of my life. I just found out that my co-host is now dating one of my friends and I was completely unaware, so I was taken aback when I saw him come in. And the _last_ person I would expect to see here is you and Raven, I think that’s what rattled me. Octavia said this girl she liked was coming tonight but I, never in a million years, would have expected it to be Raven.

Lexa chuckled, “I will admit, I did not expect to see you here either. Raven didn’t mention that Octavia was friends with you.”

“I doubt she even knows.”

“We are just destined to run into either other, I guess.”

Clarke blushed, thanking herself mentally for not turning the light on to the room when she entered. She got up slowly and paced towards the brunette, “sorry to run off like that.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine.”

“Shall we go back to the others?”

Lexa nodded and the two made their way back through the hallway, Lexa looked over to Clarke and took her dress in more, “you look beautiful tonight, Clarke.”

Clarke was thrown off by the comment and couldn’t form a response fast enough by the time they entered the living room and… “there you are, Clarke!” Octavia beamed from across the room, gesturing her over, with Lexa following suit.

The four stood in a circle of sorts and Octavia quickly spoke up, “this is the girl I was talking about, her name is Raven.”

“I know.”

Octavia cocked her head to the side, and looked over to Raven who nodded, “we’ve met.”

“Woah, well, if I knew that, Clarke I would have said it was her sooner.”

Clarke laughed awkwardly, “well, how were you to know?”

Octavia turned to Lexa, “whose your friend, Raven?”

Clarke looked between Lexa and Octavia, “Octavia… this is Lexa.”

Octavia’s brows shot _completely_ up at that, “what?”

Clarke only nodded nervously.

“ _The_ Lexa?” Octavia stated.

“ _The_ Lexa?” Lexa repeated with amusement in her voice.

“Okay, wow. This is insane,” she playfully slapped Raven’s stomach, “why didn’t you tell me you were friends with Lexa?”

“I had no reason to,” she laughed at rubbed at the sore spot, “how was I to know your best friend knew my best friend.

“Okay!” Monty broke his way into the circle, with Nathan close behind, they were both holding red cups in their hands, “you all need a drink, or 20.”

Everyone but Lexa accepted a cup, when Clarke looked at Lexa curiously she only replied, “designated driver.”

Clarke had planned on getting smashed tonight, but now with Lexa here, she wanted to maintain her good impression, knowing she is a _wild_ drunk. She settled with a light buzz. She really did have to pace herself when it came to Monty’s concoction because if she had too much of that, she really would be drunk off her ass and end up on the floor somewhere.

After some time, she was sitting on the couch with Lexa when Raven called over from a makeshift beer bong table, “come play against me and O, and no, you can’t say no.”

“Asshole,” Lexa muttered to herself, but audible enough for Clarke to hear who chuckled, “well, let’s not keep them waiting.”

The pair set up off the couch and stood on the opposite end of the table to Raven and Octavia.

“Just so you know, we are undefeated,” Octavia beamed over to Bellamy and Murphy who were moping their defeat in one of the corners.

“Just so _you_ know,” Lexa began, “I’m more competitive than Raven, we won’t lose.”

“We will see about that,” Raven smirked at Lexa with a look Lexa has seen _all_ too much.

“Oh, it’s _on,_ Reyes,” Lexa grabbed the ping pong ball and moved to position herself before taking the shot, with it perfectly sinking into one of the opposing team’s cups.

“Yes!” Clarke cried out and she went to high-five Lexa who happily reciprocated it.

Raven only smirked in response, oh it was _on._

//

It was a super close game, Raven and Lexa’s competitivity was _not_ to be taken lightly, Clarke sunk a few which earned cheers from her partner, Octavia wasn’t as good of a shot but in her defence, she was well past ‘buzzed’ at this point.

This was the moment, both teams only had one cup left. Lexa’s sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, a few of her top buttons had been undone, and her hair was now tied up in a ponytail, that’s when you _know_ she meant business.

Clarke couldn’t help but stare at Lexa who was all too engaged in the game at hand. Clarke honestly couldn’t believe what was going on, she was playing beer pong with Alexandria Woods. She’d never seen someone wear button-ups better in her life, and her legs suited skinny jeans far too well, it was frankly just unfair.

“This is the money shot, mamas got this,” Raven said as she positioned herself, taking the shot, who _just_ missed the cup as the ball bounces off the rim, “fuck!”

This brought Clarke back into reality and she looked over to a flustered Raven, the ball settled in front of her and Lexa urged her to take the shot, being her turn. Clarke gulped and took the ball, the responsibility, this was it, her moment, she _had_ to impress Lexa. Okay.

“ _Okay,”_ she said to herself as she positioned herself, “ _you got this, Clarke Griffin. All those years of drinking games has led to this very moment. This is your moment. This is who you’re meant to be. Unleash your inner beer pong beast.”_

Oh god, she was way more drunk then she thought.

She sucked in a breath and took the shot.

It flew silently through the air with four sets of eyes trailing its every movement.

And just like that,

It landed straight into their cup with a ‘splosh.’

“No!” Raven yelled.

“Yes!” Lexa cried out, turning to Clarke and picking her up by the waist into a hug.

Clarke felt dizzy at the contact that was Lexa and not the alcohol. Lexa spun her around not once but twice before setting her back on the ground, “you did it!”

Clarke smiled giddily, “ _we_ did it actually, you technically sunk more than I did.”

“Still,” Lexa countered, “you got the winning shot, that’s what matters.”

Raven was pouting across from them, Octavia laughing at her reaction. She thought the pout was adorable.

“Congrats,” Raven admitted sourly.

“Oh, Reyes. Don’t be a sore loser now,” Lexa taunted.

“Oh, you listen here. Do _not_ make me recount the time you lost to me when we played monopoly.

“You cheated!” Lexa retaliated which made Raven’s smirk grow wide and she turned to Clarke, “see?”

Clarke really wanted to admit that she found Lexa’s competitivity completely endearing, but she couldn’t let that slip, but she was certain with one more drink she would. She needed to slow down.

“Hey, Lexa, would you mind getting me some water?”

“Of course, Clarke.”

Lexa shot her a smile and walked away around the corner and into the kitchen. Clarke made her way over to the couch and watched the interactions between Raven and Octavia. God, they were so cute, Clarke was so happy for them. They were so obviously into each other, she hoped they’d admit their feelings soon, if they hadn’t already.

Clarke wished she could heed her own advice. As if on cue, Lexa turned the corner and made her way over to Clarke, with a cup in her hand. She sat next to Clarke and held out the cup, “here you go.”

“Thank you,” she sipped feverishly at the liquid, “I must say, I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

Lexa chuckled, “not a drinker?”

“On the contrary, I love partying and drinking,” she bit her lip nervously and met Lexa’s gaze, “I didn’t want to give you a bad impression.”

Lexa cocked her head, “why would you give me a bad impression by getting drunk?”

Clarke gathered her thoughts in her haze, “because, I’m a silly drunk.”

Lexa smiled, “what’s wrong with that?”

Clarke looked at the floor, she was stumped for a reply. 

Lexa broke the silence, “you do realise you can’t give an impression, after having already given one.”

“True,” Clarke replied, “did I give a good one?”

Lexa laughed at the response, “considering you saved my life, yes, Clarke, you gave a good one.”

Wow, that seemed like so long ago for Clarke. At times, she almost forgets that was how they met, other times, she couldn’t stop replaying it in her head.

Clarke met her gaze once more, staring into the forests that were her eyes, narrowing them slightly as if she was trying to reach into them if it were possible.

Lexa knew Clarke was a little drunk at this point and was more amused by this then she would ever admit. She held Clarke’s gaze because clearly the blonde was enjoying it, but she was staring so intently into her eyes, that Lexa couldn’t help but ask, “what are you so busy trying to figure out?”

Clarke responded quickly and straight to the point, “how eyes like yours exist.”

Lexa smirked, “eyes like mine?”

Clarke hummed a yes, “I have looked into many eyes, but I have never been so captivated by someone’s before. Yours share your soul, which is special. People’s eyes are usually empty, but yours aren’t. I could look into them for hours and never get bored.”

Lexa was _not_ expecting a response like that. God, no. She felt her cheeks flush crimson at the blonde’s words. She was so serious when she spoke too, she was being completely genuine, Lexa had never heard someone talk about her eyes like that before. What was she supposed to do with that?

Clarke looked down at the floor again, “you also have soft eyes,” she took a breath and Lexa just watched her, “I’ve only ever met one other person who has soft eyes… and that was my dad.”

Clarke leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, she upset herself without even meaning to. Lexa knew Clarke had upset herself by mentioning her dad, but she said it in a way like she had to get it out, just once.

Lexa raised her arm and began rubbing circles on Clarke’s back, trying to comfort her as best she could in the moment, which more was then enough for Clarke, who appreciated the gesture greatly.

_Was._

Lexa’s brows furrowed at the words, but continued to lightly rub Clarke’s back, who maintained her position. The more Lexa thought about that particular compliment, the more she had to fight the feeling of her eyes welling up, she thought to herself that that was probably the most important compliment Clarke could ever give someone. And she gave it to _her._

Clarke began to sit back, and Lexa withdrew her hand, “sorry, I didn’t mean to get melancholy.”

Lexa only shook her head, “never apologise for that.”

“I’ll be right back,” Clarke said to Lexa, who only nodded a response as Clarke set up off the couch.

Clarke made her way through the crowd to find Octavia in the kitchen who was standing with Monty and Bellamy.

“Hey guys, is it okay if I go home?”

“Aw what? We are just about to go clubbing,” Octavia said as Raven joined the circle.

“I know,” Clarke shrugged, “I’m just really not feeling good.”

“It’s okay, you came and that’s all the matters,” Monty smiled.

“Have Lexa take you home,” Raven suggested, knowing Octavia was Clarke’s ride here, “I’ll make my own way home.”

“Are you sure?”

Raven nodded and Clarke smiled at her friends, “thank you guys, this was really nice. We must do it again, okay?” She hugged each person, including Raven, “can you say goodbye to everyone else for me?”

Monty smiled into a nod before turning around to find his boyfriend. Clarke sighed and left the kitchen to return to living room. Lexa was still patiently awaiting Clarke’s return, concern flashing across her features as she saw the girl reappear.

“Hey, um,” Clarke began, “would it be okay if you took me home?”

Lexa got up immediately, “of course.”

Lexa walked Clarke out of the house and down to her car, opening the door for her before getting into the driver’s seat. Once they settled, she looked over to Clarke, “are you okay?”

Clarke managed a smile, “yeah, I’m okay.”

“Did I upset you in any way?”

“Oh, Lexa, god no,” Clarke reassured, “I honestly just upset myself, which sounds stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, Clarke. Come, let’s get you home.”

Lexa started her car and began the drive back to Clarke’s apartment, the ride back was completely silent, but the pair were content with that. Lexa pulled into the complex and found a parking and got out the car, Clarke just sat still in her seat. The progress she thought she made earlier, was gone. She was definitely not over it.

Lexa made her way over to Clarke’s door, and Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt. Lexa opened her door and held her hand out for Clarke, “come on.”

Clarke sheepishly took Lexa’s hand to help her out the car before they broke the link. Clarke wished she could just hold onto her soft hands forever. Lexa walked Clarke up to her apartment door and watched her as she unlocked and opened the door. Clarke stepped inside and turned around to meet the emeralds, “would you… could you stay?”

Lexa didn’t even need to think about it, “of course, Clarke.”

Lexa walked inside and closed the door behind them before checking the time on her phone: 11:24pm.

Lexa made her way over to Clarke, “are you tired? Would you like to go to sleep?”

Clarke thought about it, but she knew she couldn’t fall asleep like this, “not really. Would you be up for watching a movie with me? I have Netflix.”

Lexa smiled and nodded, “how about you get into something more comfortable, and I’ll pick something for us to watch?”

“That sounds like a fantastic plan.”

Clarke set off into her bedroom, she had come down from her buzz and she wasn’t even sure how she got herself into this mood. It happened so quickly, she completely plummeted. But at least this time, she wasn’t alone.

Clarke shimmied out of her sundress and flats and into some sweatpants and one of her old shirts before making her way back into her kitchen where Lexa was working at… something?

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making you tea, it helps.”

Clarke smiled, “that’s sweet, thank you.”

Clarke moved to the couch and pulled out a blanket and peered at the movie on pause. She turned around to look at Lexa.

“Mulan?” Clarke said with amusement.

“What?” Lexa replied innocently, “I thought I’d continue our Disney tradition since we watched Lion King last time.”

Clarke erupted a laugh and a smile at the thought as Lexa moved to place two fresh cups of black tea on the coffee table.

“Oh,” Clarke began, “I left your clothes on my bed if you want to get into something more comfortable yourself.

“Thank you,” Lexa said before she made her way down the hallway.

Clarke sipped at her tea in silence while Lexa changed, the tea was delightful, it was just like her mother used to make.

“How did you know I like sugar in my tea?” She said aloud as Lexa re-entered the living room, wrapping around the couch and onto the cushions.

“I assumed. I’m well aware of your sweet tooth, Clarke.”

Clarke could die right now and be completely happy with it.

Clarke was rendered speechless actually, which only made Lexa smile more.

God, she was so endearing.

Lexa pressed play on the remote and settled into the couch, laying the blanket atop their legs which were propped up side by side on the coffee table, teas in hand. They both unashamedly mouthed the lyrics to each Mulan song that came up. Clarke was so content right now, with Lexa. She managed to make her feel better, Clarke knew it was going to be another bad night if she was alone, but she wasn’t… Lexa stayed. Lexa took care of her. She was lucky.

Clarke then went to rest her head on Lexa’s shoulder, without saying a word. She felt Lexa jump silently at the contact but made no effort to move Clarke or indicate that she was uncomfortable. After some time, Lexa went to rest her head against Clarke’s. Clarke slowly felt sleep encumber her, her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. She was warm, and safe. Lexa was warm and safe. Clarke slowly faded out one of the songs that was playing, and closed her eyes, falling completely asleep.

//

She was roused later by Lexa gently nudging her awake, “hey.”

Clarke sleepily hummed a response, and she heard the girl chuckle.

“Clarke, come on. Let me help you to bed, you won’t be comfortable here.”

Lexa wished that she could just carry Clarke to bed, she knew she was more than capable of doing so, but she didn’t because that would be weird. Right?

Clarke nodded and stood up, steadying her spinning head. Lexa guided her over to her bedroom and Clarke got into bed, with Lexa helping her getting under the covers. Clarke settled instantly, and Lexa went to move away.

“Where are you doing?”

“I’m going to go sleep on your couch.”

“Don’t be silly, we can share,” Clarke rolled up her blankets and moved to the furthest side of the bed before patting the empty space.

Lexa truly considered saying no but she knew Clarke wouldn’t take no for an answer, so she did as she was told and got under the covers. There was a considerable amount of space between the two girls, but they were facing each other on their sides, Clarke already falling back asleep which only made Lexa smile in adoration. Before the brunette knew it, the blonde’s breathing had evened out completely, and she was fast asleep.

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!  
> lexa is a lil munchkin, isn't she?  
> see you next week!


	11. Chapter Eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter alert!  
> hope you guys enjoy it. keep smashing that kudos button and leaving kind comments, it makes my heart swell.

Clarke’s eyes slowly fluttered open, but to her surprise, her eyes opened to Lexa sleeping across from her and not her bedroom wall like usual. She jumped slightly at the sight of the brunette, seemingly forgetting for a moment that Lexa had stayed the night. The girls were laying on their sides again, but unlike how they fell asleep, they’d moved a lot closer during the night. They weren’t close enough to be sharing the same pillow but somehow, their legs had tangled together.

Clarke internally melted at the friction and warmth, feeling heat already pool at her core. Alexandria Woods was in her bed. In the most innocent way, of course, but in her bed nonetheless. Clarke couldn’t comprehend how kind Lexa was to her last night, she had stayed when Clarke asked her to, she didn’t have to do that. Clarke studied the brunette’s features, her brows furrowed and twitched a little, she was clearly dreaming. Lexa was such a peaceful-looking sleeper, her long lashes gently resting on her cheeks, her plum lips slightly spread apart as she breathed heavily. Clarke thought it to be the most adorable thing she had ever seen in her life, she wanted nothing more than to kiss those pillow lips.

Was it creepy that Clarke was just staring at Lexa without her knowledge? I mean… probably. But she was right there, looking so beautiful in her slumber, Clarke couldn’t _not_ look at her. Clarke wished she could freeze time, the pair sleeping innocently side-by-side, their legs entangled together, Lexa putting sleeping beauty to absolute shame.

Clarke was surprised, because usually when she would have a ‘bad night’ she would have nightmares of her father, but she slept soundly through the night, not even waking up once. Lexa’s presence was dangerously comforting and it’s something Clarke wishes she could get used to, falling asleep and waking up with Lexa beside her. It took every ounce of restraint to not reach over and stroke the girl’s cheek.

“Are you staring at me,” Lexa breathed out, eyes never opening.

Clarke jumped at the sudden break of silence, and quickly untangled their legs on instinct.

Lexa blinked her eyes open, revealing that beautiful green Clarke loved so much.

“What? No,” Clarke began, going red with embarrassment, “what makes you think that?”

Lexa sat up straight and rubbed at her eyes, “because I could feel it, and I knew you were awake because your breathing changed.”

Lexa was aware of Clarke’s breathing habits? That was surprisingly sweet and intimate.

Clarke sat up also as Lexa yawned and stretched her arms above her head, with Clarke staring at the new tan flesh that was revealed where her shirt rode up.

“What time is it?” Lexa said as she lowered her arms back down.

“Um,” Clarke tore her gaze away as she raised her wrist up, “10:23am,” she replied.

“Ugh, it’s early,” Lexa groaned and threw her head back down onto her pillow dramatically.

Clarke giggled at Lexa’s childish antics, “early? It’s late!”

Lexa moved her eyes from the ceiling and onto Clarke, specifically just to roll them at her.

“I would have thought you’d be a morning person, considering you must have to get up early for filming.”

Lexa hummed, “you’d think. But I’m actually not a morning person at all, I detest the early starts.”

“Shouldn’t you be there right now?”

“If I had to be there now, Raven and I wouldn’t have gone out last night. Fortunately, the timing worked out, and we only have to be there for 1pm today.”

Lexa perked up at her words and sat back up, “god, I hope Raven is okay and didn’t forget to set an alarm.”

Clarke nodded her head in response, “yeah, I wonder what they all got up to last night, I’m sure they’re okay though,” Clarke lowered her head to stare into her lap, “I’m sorry for dragging you away last night.

Lexa looked at Clarke curiously, “don’t apologise. The only thing keeping me there was Raven and yourself, but Raven seemed completely fine with Octavia, so she didn’t need my help. You did,” Lexa furrowed her brows, “are you okay, now? What happened over there?”

Clarke shifted her gaze to meet Lexa’s for a beat, before returning it to her lap.

“It’s… it’s a thing that happens whenever I or someone else mentions my dad… I get into this really self-destructive mindset that I can’t get out of by myself,” she shifted her eyes back to Lexa, “so thank you for helping me out of it. This has been the first time I haven’t had a nightmare after getting into that mental state.”

Lexa smiled sympathetically and genuinely at the blonde. God, Clarke was hurting so much, Lexa ached for her. She has nightmares too, about a time not even Raven knows about.

“I did mean what I said though. You have his eyes. Just… a different colour. He would have liked you.”

Clarke managed a small smile at Lexa who was staring intently, unsure of how to respond.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to as Clarke got up off the bed in one swift motion, “if you’d like to shower, there are towels behind the door of the bathroom, I’m going to go make us breakfast.”

Clarke marched to the door before turning around with a sweet smile, “how do you like your eggs?”

Lexa’s throat was dry, “um. I like all forms of eggs.”

Clarke chuckled, “helpful,” and turned away, proceeding back through the hallway, leaving Lexa alone in Clarke’s bedroom.

Lexa sat on the bed in thought for a few minutes, collecting herself. Clarke had so many demons, and Lexa was aching to know about them, but she knew this was something Clarke would have to tell her in her own time. She knows what it’s like to be secretive and tentative to reveal information about one’s past. Lexa’s past is intense, and there’s a lot about her past that she prefers, and would like to, never mention again. There’s only one person in the entire world that knows everything about Lexa, and that’s Anya. Well, up until Anya left, of course.

The brunette gently lifted herself off Clarke’s bed and moved to the bathroom, she heard lots of clattering coming from the kitchen and Lexa’s stomach grumbled at the thought of breakfast. She wondered if Clarke was a good cook, but she guessed she would find out soon.

Lexa closed the bathroom door behind her and made quick work of stripping her clothes. She looked around the bathroom, it was strange… The first time Lexa ever set foot in this bathroom was when she was all bloody and bruised. It was unpleasant nostalgia, but the memory didn’t upset her in any way, Lexa strangely felt at home at Clarke’s apartment. But something about that was so comforting.

The brunette stepped into the shower and began working at the taps, sighing pleasantly into the hot water raking over her slender figure. She used Clarke’s shampoo and body wash, smiling at the strawberry scent they carried. Lexa wondered if Raven was okay, considering her designated driver had to rush off. She made a mental note of calling Raven after breakfast, at that she turned the taps off and walked over to the door to grab a towel and dry herself off before getting back into the clothes she stripped off earlier.

Lexa rested the towel back on its hook and left the bathroom before walking through the hallway. Clarke had her back away from Lexa, she had light jazz playing from her phone and was humming loudly to the melody. Clarke couldn’t resist swaying her hips to the rhythm as she moved the eggs around with her spatula in one pan, and bacon in another. The smell was heavenly.

Lexa couldn’t help but lean against the wall and smile in amusement at the blonde, her eyes following the way Clarke swayed her hips to the music. She unashamedly watched Clarke work away at their breakfast for a minute or two before:

“Are you staring at me?” Clarke teased Lexa’s words back at her as the toaster went off with a pop.

Lexa’s eyes widened, and she shook herself off the wall, coughing awkwardly, “no.”

Clarke turned around to meet Lexa’s gaze as she approached the kitchen counter, “liar. I heard your footsteps coming through the hallway a few minutes ago.”

Lexa blushed with embarrassment and quickly changed the subject, “what have you made for us?”

Clarke smirked and turned back to her work, “a cheesy omelette, bacon, parsley, and toast with whatever condiment you’d like.”

Lexa was salivating, “that sounds incredible, I’m so hungry… do you, per chance, have avocados?”

“Avocados?”

“Yeah. I really enjoy smashed avo on toast.”

“You sound like an Australian.”

Lexa smirked, “I discovered the combination _in_ Australia, it’s divine. You must try it.”

Clarke chuckled and opened her fridge, pulling out a perfect looking avocado, “we’re in luck then.”

Lexa’s eyes glistened at the object being waved around in the air which only make Clarke chuckle more, “well, Lexa. I will give you the task of avo smashing while I tend to the rest of breakfast.”

Lexa nodded and took the avocado from Clarke’s hands, the pair moved around the kitchen like it was natural and Clarke couldn’t help but love the idea of making breakfast with Lexa every morning, in a kitchen of their own. The domesticity of it all was sending electricity through her veins. It was a silly thought though, but Clarke revelled in the idea while she could.

Clarke put an omelette and two pieces of bacon onto each plate, littering it with basil, parsley, salt and pepper. Lexa moved a slice of toasted sourdough, covered in avocado, to each plate, effectively finishing off the master piece.

Clarke dramatically brought her right hand to her lips and kissed outwards, “bellissimo.”

Lexa playfully shook her head and took her plate over to the dining table, with Clarke following shortly after. They settled into their chairs, taking cutlery from the stand in the centre of the table and dug in.

Lexa cut away at her omelette and put a piece in her mouth before widening her eyes and looking at Clarke, “are you some kind of chef in your spare time, too?”

Clarke laughed as she slipped a piece of bacon into her mouth, “I am definitely no chef, but I do enjoy cooking, it’s therapeutic for me. I managed to teach myself a thing or two about it when I left home.”

“Mmm, well. Remember that time you asked me if there was anything I couldn’t do? Well, cooking is one of them,” Lexa said as she scooped another piece into her mouth, eliciting a low moan that Clarke homed in on like a siren.

“Raven is a god-awful cook,” she continued, “truly, that woman burnt spaghetti once, so it’s nice to finally have a friend who _can_ cook.”

_Friend._

Clarke only smiled in response despite the pang in her heart as she continued to work her way through breakfast. The pair were mostly silent throughout, save some small talk here and there. Lexa eyed Clarke with anticipation when she went to try the avocado on toast, earning a nod approval in return stating that, “despite avocados being devoid of flavour, this is an exquisite combination.” Once they finally finished, the pair took their plates to the kitchen with Lexa insisting she washed up considering Clarke made breakfast. While Lexa was washing up, she asked Clarke to call Octavia for her, so she could find out Raven’s whereabouts, who gladly complied. Clarke was resting on her couch when she made the call:

_“What do you want, Griffin, it’s like 8am.”_

“Actually, it’s past 11:30am. Good night, I presume?”

_“Understatement. After you left, we all went to this club that I already forgot the name of and we partied till 4am, and this point I was belligerent. But I remember walking around the city with Raven until the sun came up and then we somehow made it back to my apartment in one piece.”_

“Oh good, so Raven _is_ with you? Lexa’s wanting to know if she’s safe.”

Lexa shot Clarke a smile from over the counter at the use of her name.

_“Yeah, she’s with me. Can’t you hear her snoring? God, it’s incessant.”_

“Incessantly cute though, right?”

 _“Right,”_ Clarke heard the girl giggle, _“we had a fun time last night, that’s for sure. Are you okay though? What happened last night? And judging by what you said before, Lexa stayed over?”_

“Save the details, you’ll have to tell me all about it in person when we see each other next, and…” Clarke glanced over to Lexa who was feverishly washing at the pans, “I got into one of my moods. I brought up my dad and somehow managed to upset myself over it, but yeah, Lexa stayed the night.”

_“Like… stayed the night stayed the night or…”_

Clarke blushed absentmindedly and lowered her voice, “not like that, she just made sure I was okay and safe. We watched a movie and then went to sleep. I didn’t even have a nightmare last night, O.”

There was a short silence.

 _“That’s… a first. Whatever she did or is doing, she’s doing a good job. I’m almost offended, you always had nightmares with me,”_ and the pair chuckled.

Lexa had finished the dishes and was leaning on the counter with her elbows, and made eye contact with Clarke to let her know she was done.

“Yeah,” she laughed awkwardly, “anyway, I just wanted to check up, I’m gonna go now though. Can you get Raven up soon? She has to be on set with Lexa at 1pm, she can’t miss it.”

_“Loud and clear. I’ll get her up now, cya later alligator.”_

Once Clarke heard the line go dead, she lowered her phone into her lap, “it sounds like Raven and Octavia got up to a lot of fun last night.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows with a smirk, “did they now?”

Clarke chuckled, “considering they only got home when the sun was rising, I’d assume so. Though, I still think we had more fun watching Mulan.”

The brunette rested her chin in her hands as she leaned over, “did we? As I recall, you fell asleep not even half way through.”

Clarke gasped, “I did? I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“Indeed. It’s okay though, I enjoyed it enough for the both of us, besides you passed out so quickly I assumed your body needed the rest. Besides, it was cute.”

Before Clarke could respond, Lexa’s phone was ringing, who promptly answered.

“Raven?”

“ _God, bitch, don’t be so loud. Anyway. So, was it like, we had to be there for 1pm, or leave by 1pm?”_

Lexa rolled her eyes and Clarke laughed at the notion.

“Good morning to you too.”

_“Don’t play games, Woods. I just woke up, but kindly answer my question.”_

“Be there _for_ 1pm. So, I suggest getting ready now and leaving now.”

Raven groaned from across the line, _“my head hurts like a motherfucker. I have regrets but I also have no regrets.”_

“Tell Octavia to get you coffee and Advil, drink plenty of water too. Don’t be late, okay? We already had a shitty start yesterday, we are beginning to look unprofessional,” Lexa chuckled lightly.

_“Well in my defence, I’ve always been unprofessional. Don’t sweat it, Woods. They love us, I’ll see you soon!”_

“Bye.”

Lexa looked up to meet Clarke’s gaze, “she most definitely keeps me on my toes.”

Clarke let out a laugh before Lexa continued, “I should get going myself though, will you be alright?”

The blonde got up off the couch, “most definitely, thanks for looking after me, you’re a good friend.”

_Friend._

Lexa gave a courteous smile before she began gathering her things. Clarke just stood by awkwardly watching, not really know what to do, so she just waited patiently until the brunette was ready to leave.

Once Lexa was ready, Clarke moved to open the door for her, after she did, Lexa made no move to leave once the two were standing by the door. It looked as if she was wanting to say something but couldn’t figure out how to get it out. So, the two just stood there, in _way too close_ proximity, looking into each other’s eyes before Clarke finally broke the silence:

“Thanks again for taking me home last night and staying. I’ll repay you somehow.”

“Don’t be daft, Clarke. You owe me nothing,” she offered another shy smile before pulling Clarke into a brief hug, “I’ll see you around.”

And with that, she was gone.

Clarke slowly closed the door after Lexa was well out of sight and slumped on her couch with her head buried in her hands.

She let out a super unattractive grunt, “this is the worst crush _ever_!”

There’s still so much about Lexa she doesn’t know, despite them spending the morning together, they didn’t even _talk_ about anything. Clarke has so many questions and she is even more eager to reveal things about herself to the woman, but they never quite seem to have enough time to do so.

Not to mention Clarke totally ruined the party last night.

“How embarrassing,” she says as she shakes her head in her hands.

Clarke still feels warm inside though, when she thinks about how Lexa stayed when she asked. Octavia has stayed a few times in the past, but the more she asked, it started to feel like a chore, and then when Octavia got full-time work she couldn’t afford to stay over anymore. Jasper has stayed a few times too but… sometimes you really just need a female friend, you know? Lexa genuinely wanted to help… which was nice.

She barely even remembers Mulan or falling asleep. She _did_ however remember resting her head on the brunette’s warm shoulder and it honestly felt like the most comforting thing in the world, even _more_ so when she felt Lexa’s head rest on hers in response.

Fragments were slowly coming back to Clarke, the more she thought about it. She remembers Lexa lifting the blanket higher so it covered their shoulders and Lexa sliding down the couch more so Clarke could rest against her more comfortably. And… did she… did she wrap her arm around Lexa’s waist at some point?!

Clarke’s head shot up out of her hands and she felt her face flush red hot.

She _does_ remember shifting in her sleep to wrap her arm comfortably around the brunette’s waist… and… Clarke also remembers the feeling of Lexa tracing light patterns on her forearm with the fingers as she watched the film.

“Surely not.”

Surely not. These memories must have been fabricated from a hallucinogenic sleep state and cannot be real. Monty’s concoction definitely could have the ability to do that. They feel real though. She will never know unless she asks Lexa directly, which she won’t.

Either way, Clarke had never felt more at peace before. And then they shared a bed, platonically, but it still was comforting to know there was a safe presence there beside her. God, Clarke wanted to always wake up next to Lexa. Is that creepy? They barely know each other. Lexa sees her as a friend, Clarke knows that for certain. It’s heartbreaking to know that you like someone that will never reciprocate those feelings, but she is content with a friendship. Lexa _is_ a good friend.

Clarke let out a sigh, it was nearly around 12pm and she had no plans for the rest of the day, but all she did know was that she needed to vent to someone, and she knew exactly who to vent to.

 

//

 

Lexa stood laughing at Raven who was approaching her with shades on her nose, a cap on her head, coffee in one hand and bottled water in the other, “doing okay there, partner?”

“Shut the fuck up, Woods.”

Raven made it to Lexa and the pair began walking through the studio with their trailers as their end destination.

“No seriously,” Lexa began, “I _have_ to know what went on last night.”

Raven groaned as her stomach churned all the alcohol that still remained in her system and she sipped at her coffee, followed by the water.

“Regrets, that’s what happened.”

“You really should not have stayed out till sunrise, Raven. You knew you had work today. You’re going to have to be in makeup for a few hours just so they can fix your face.”

Raven whined like a child, “I know that. Sure, my stomach hurts like a bitch and I drank _way_ too much for my own good last night but oh my god, Lexa. Octavia and I had such a good night together.”

“Did you--”

“--no. No, we didn’t. We just talked, for hours and hours, it was so nice, and we learned so much about each other.”

Lexa couldn’t help but almost feel jealous at her friend’s words, she and Clarke have never really gotten into deep discussion about anything before, save for Lexa’s brief backstory. Truthfully… Lexa knew absolutely nothing about Clarke. What even is Clarke’s favourite colour?

Lexa looked up at Raven’s awaiting face and realised she must have tuned the girl out and she got asked a question, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I said what did you and Clarke get up to last night?”

Lexa hummed in thought as she opened her trailer and the pair walked in, “well… what do you already know?”

“Just that she wanted to go home because she wasn’t feeling well, and that you stayed the night with her to make sure she was okay.”

Lexa believed her and was about to begin her story when she caught on to Raven’s facial expression, one she has seen all too much.

“Raven.”

“Hm? What?”

Lexa dropped her backpack onto the floor of her trailer and folded her arms at the girl who was avoiding her gaze like the plague.

“You know something else.”

Raven scoffed, “no, I don’t.”

Lexa took a step forward and Raven crumbled like a cheesecake, “okay, okay.”

Raven tapped her foot in frustration at how the only person in the entire world that Raven has ever and can ever be scared of is Lexa.

“I know why Clarke was ‘sick’ last night,” Raven air-quoting on sick.

“Something to do with her dad, right?”

Raven only nodded.

“You know what happened to him, don’t you?”

“I do. Octavia told me last night, but I swore to her I would never say anything and quite frankly, that is a story you need to hear from Clarke. It’s… it’s intense, Lex.”

Lexa’s brows furrowed at her friend’s words.

“How intense?”

“Intense. Like… I can understand why she is still affected after all these years. You just… ask her yourself, I can’t violate her privacy.”

“I understand.”

There was a short silence before Lexa continued with her story, “anyway… she asked me to stay over last night as we just watched a Disney movie and then we fell asleep. She made us breakfast this morning and now I’m here.”

Raven looked as if she was processing her words and mulling them over in her head

“That’s it?”

“I mean… yeah, I guess. She _did_ fall asleep on my shoulder last night during the movie,” a blushed smile spread across Lexa’s face at the thought.

“Oh my god,” Raven laughed in amusement, “you are _so_ gay, Woods.”

Before Lexa could reply there was a knock on the door drawing both of the girl’s attention.

“Harper!” Lexa exclaimed.

“Good afternoon, you two. Just stopping by the say they want Lexa in makeup.”

Lexa threw her hands up in exasperation, “okay,” and began to make her way out of her trailer with Harper and Raven following suit. Raven separated from the group, so she could set her things down in her own trailer while Harper and Lexa made their way over to where makeup was located.

“Is it cool if we go over some lines while you’re in the chair?” Harper says as she adjusts her ponytail.

Lexa nods vigorously, “yes please, that would be great.”

“Oh, hey also, did you see that photo of us going around yet? It’s gone viral.”

Lexa’s brows furrowed and she shook her head as they opened the door to the makeup room, they exchanged kind greetings to the team before she sat down.

Harper brought her phone over to Lexa who took it and eyed the screen, “how did they even take this?”

“We figure someone here leaked it, or it could have been a publicity stunt to bring hype and the press over.”

Lexa only rolled her eyes as one of the artists began brushing some powder across her cheeks.

“How did you not see it? It would have blown up on your media.”

“I don’t really check my socials that much… besides, I’ve been busy.”

“Busier than shooting a film?”

“Yeah, busy shooting heart eyes at a certain blonde,” Raven says as she waltzed all too loudly through the door the girls forgot to shut.

Lexa wants to look over and glare at her, but she can’t because her face is being firmly held in place. Harper has an amused look as she turns to Raven, “oh, really? Do tell.”

“Sorry, Raven. We were actually about to start rehearsing our lines,” Lexa grumbled.

Harper laughs, “oh please, we have plenty of time for that. Come sit,” she tapped the free chair next to her and gestures for Raven to sit.

“I know we only just met Harper, but I know we are going to get along great.”

Lexa tried not to roll her eyes, because as much as she wanted to, she was getting her mascara done.

 

//

 

_“Hey kiddo, how was your first day at your new school?” Jake says as he descended the stairs to see Clarke traipsing around the kitchen._

_Clarke only grunted angrily in response and Jake laughed, “come, sit down, I’ll make you a grilled cheese and you can tell me all about it.”_

_Clarke smiled toothily and sat on one of the bar stools, “okay!”_

_She made herself comfortable as Jake took the cheese out of the refrigerator, “well, my teachers are really nice, but I didn’t make any friends. There’s this one girl, Octavia, she’s so cool, dad. I really wanna be her friend but she told me I was annoying.”_

_Clarke huffed obnoxiously, and Jake laughed as he took two slices of bread out of the packet and began buttering them._

_“I doubt she thinks you’re annoying, kiddo. What makes you want to be friends with her?_

_“She’s just really cool, everyone knows her, and she has this really cool older brother that everyone adores.”_

_Jake moved the cheese slices onto the buttered bread and moved them to the awaiting pan.  He pressed them onto it with a loud sizzle that made Clarke feel dizzy in anticipation._

_“And do you adore this older brother?” He teased._

_Clarke crinkled her nose, “not like that, dad,” she poked her tongue out, “he is nice though, maybe if I get him to like me, Octavia will like me too.”_

_“Clarke, don’t force anything, kiddo. Just continue with what you’re doing, and something will come out of it. Whether it’s good or bad, something will come out of it. You’re a likeable kid, and I’m not saying that cause I’m bias. You will find common ground with this girl and you will find a way to coexist and I’m sure she will eventually like you, I know how persistent you are,” Jake chuckles and kisses his daughter on her forehead as he drops the steaming plate in front of her._

_Her eyes widen and her stomach grumbles, she is sure she is drooling, and she can’t find an ounce in her to care. She eagerly picks up a slice and takes a bite out of the triangle piece, she hisses at how hot it was and dropped it loudly back onto her plate._

_“Easy there eager beaver, blow on it,” Jake laughs as he goes to wash the pan he just used._

_Clarke nods and blows at her plate before she is interrupted by her front door opening and in comes Abby with a loud, “I’m home!”_

_“Mom!” Clarke yells in her ecstasy and runs over to the woman, gripping onto her like a koala._

_“Hey honey, how are you?”_

_The pair walk through back into the kitchen where Jake gestures over to the plate._

_Abby nods and strokes the blonde’s head, “ah, I see. It’s a grilled cheese kinda day, that bad huh?”_

_Clarke slumps back onto the bar stool and attempts to pick up the triangle slice again, “I didn’t make any friends.”_

_Abby laughs as she moves into the kitchen to give her husband a chaste kiss on the lips before, “it’s your first day, you’re also 13, Clarke. You will easily make friends, what’s not to love about you?”_

_“You’re bias,” Clarke grumbles as she stuffs her face._

_Abby smirks, “maybe I am, but don’t stress. I promise you, you will make some friends soon, okay?”_

_Clarke only nods through her mouth-full._

_Abby grinned at her husband, “you know that triangle slices are my thing?”_

_Jake laughed and pulled her into a hug, “maybe I just want to be more like you.”_

_Abby shook her head and walked upstairs to drop her things off and change out of her work clothes._

_Jake made his way back over to Clarke and sat on the stool beside her. He ruffled her hair gently, “you’re gonna be okay, kiddo.”_

_Clarke leaned onto her father’s shoulder and continued chomping away, “thanks dad, I’m happy I can always come and talk to you.”_

_“Always, Clarke. Always”_

“Hey, dad.”

Clarke moved to rest her freshly bought flowers in front of her father’s grave.

“I’m sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been kinda busy,” Clarke chuckles as she sits down and makes herself comfortable, eyes raking over the words she reads every time she’s here.

_Here lies Jake Griffin, beloved husband and father._

“I miss you.”

She pulls her backpack in front of her, so she has something to hold, “I’ve had the craziest week, you wouldn’t believe it even if I told you, but I’m going to anyway. I need to talk about it with someone who understands. You always understood.”

Clarke feels the beginning of tears pricking her eyes, but she continues anyway, “mom’s doing well. I haven’t had much time to see her either… I really need to make more of an effort, and I plan to. She’s just as busy as I am, really. She says it’s the only thing she has, her work… which is sad, but it makes sense as to why she is always working. She really is great at her job though.”

Clarke inhales and exhales deeply.

“I’ve started to paint portraits again. Crazy, right? I swore to you I’d never paint them again unless it was you. But dad, I met this girl and you would have absolutely adored her. We are just friends but… I want it to be something more. But I know I can’t force it, and I should just keep doing what I’m doing, and something will come from it, I know. She’s so kind and humble, and thoughtful and just… special! She has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and her smile… I can’t even begin the find a word to correctly categorise her smile, but it stops my heart from beating every time. I…”

Clarke blinks back some tears, “I don’t know what to do. I really like her, but I’m too scared to say anything, and she’s this famous actor whose time is limited, and she would never go for a nobody like me and I know it would be nothing but a terrible idea to engage in anything other than something platonic. But I can’t seem to shake those thoughts from my head. I’m fairly certain she only wants to be friends too. Which is probably for the better. She has so many demons and I wish I could be the angel to slay them for her, but I don’t think I can, or if she would let me. I do however feel like I should start opening up to her more, she’s a lot more open with me then I am with her.”

Clarke dwells on her last words for a while, “yeah, I should probably open up more. If I want to know more about her, it should at least be reciprocal. I don’t know if I trust her enough to tell her about… well… you know. But, I’ll get there.”

Clarke sits in silence for about an hour, just talking with her father, getting everything that was on her mind off her chest, and it felt great. She actually loved coming here, it felt like she still could talk to her father about anything, and despite not getting a response, it was still extremely therapeutic for her. This place was special. It’s where her dad lived.

“I thought I would find you here.”

Clarke jumped at the sudden interruption of silence and spun her head around to see Anya towering over her. The blonde instantly relaxes when she saw who it was. Anya went to sit down next to Clarke and they both just stared at the grave for a few minutes before Anya speaks up, “I tried calling and texting, I got no response to either. I went to your apartment, only to hear Kibbles on the other side, and I had this strange sense that I just knew you would be here, and here you are.”

Clarke smiles a sad smile and she goes to lean against Anya who wraps the younger girl up in her arms.

“I just had a lot to tell him.”

“I get it, your dad was always a good listener.”

Clarke nodded against the woman before she continued, “he listened to so much of my bullshit.”

Clarke laughed genuinely at that, “he loved it though.

Clarke shifted out of Anya’s embrace and turned to face her, “can I help you with anything? Why were you looking for me?”

“Well, I wanted to catch up with you, I finished all my paperwork, so I thought I’d reach out.”

Clarke smirked through her antics, “you just want to know gossip about Lexa.”

Anya flushed red and laughed, “maybe, I do. But I did genuinely want to see you too, kid. Do you have plans for the rest of the day?”

Clarke only shook her head and stared back out to her father’s grave and Anya only smiled, “how about you come back to mine, I’ll make you a grilled cheese, and I can tell you about all the latest gossip in the art world.”

Clarke smiled from ear to ear at her words. After all this time, Anya still knew Clarke’s comfort food. Clarke nodded and got up off the floor with her backpack, she said her goodbyes with her father and the pair made their way out of the cemetery.

Clarke followed Anya’s car all the way to her house and once they were inside, she made herself comfortable around Anya’s kitchen as she watched Anya work at making them both grilled cheeses. They had light conversation about art throughout, Clarke also mentioning how her co-worker and her friend are now dating and it’s all a bit weird. Anya really does make the best grilled cheeses, Clarke knows this is because Jake sat Anya down one day and educated her on how to properly make one, without using the presser you can buy.

Eating on the couch with Anya brought back a lot of pleasant nostalgia and she was thankful Anya had found her in the cemetery when she did. Clarke loved Anya’s house. It was so modern and cozy. The place wasn’t a mansion or anything, but it was still rather big, Clarke used to enjoy spending time walking around her house, admiring all the paintings and art pieces that hung about.

“Wait so…” Anya began, “Lexa is friends with this… Raven girl, Raven being the one Octavia is smitten over, and you had no idea?”

“Nope, not even an inkling.”

“And does Raven know you’re smitten over Lexa?”

Clarke chokes on her half-finished coffee, “I am _not_ smitten.”

Anya laughed cockily, “Clarke, I’ve known you since you were 14. I know you better then you probably know yourself. You don’t even have to say anything, I saw how you looked at her in the gallery, like she was the only piece in the whole damn building that you’d call artwork.”

Clarke flushed crimson, “that was very gay, Anya,” she tried to avert her eyes, but they fell on Anya’s knowing look, “okay, yeah. I’m a little smitten.”

“I knew it.”

“You can’t say anything though, okay?”

“I won’t, Clarke.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

Clarke relaxed a bit into the couch after hearing those words.

“I’m fairly certain she sees me nothing more than a friend though, I don’t know.”

“Ask her.”

Clarke’s face was aghast at the mere thought, “no way.”

“Lexa is a really straightforward girl, she would tell you how she feels.”

“And that’s exactly what I’m afraid of, I don’t _want_ to know her answer in case it’s a bad one. I just want to explore our friendship more, since it’s only just blossoming.”

“I still cannot believe you are friends, it’s utterly crazy to me.”

Clarke smiled, “yeah, I can see how weird it would be for you. She’s really nice though.”

“She is indeed. She has a pure heart. God knows why she still does after everything she has been through.”

Clarke’s brows furrowed, “you mean her parents?”

Anya shook her head, “yeah that, but everything that happened after. Lexa’s experience at the orphanage was… well. Not pleasant, I’ll just say that.”

“Why wasn’t she never fostered?” Clarke set her coffee cup down on the table beside her, so she could engage fully in this conversation.

“She was. But she… she had to come back.”

“Why?”

Anya shook her head, “I’m sorry, Clarke. It’s not my story to tell.”

“I understand,” Clarke nodded her head, she did understand.

“I have no idea what she has been doing since I left, but I can only hope she has had a good life because god, does that girl deserve it. She looks well though. I’ve never seen her shine brighter than she did the other day.”

Anya stared into her lap, “I still feel so guilty for leaving.”

Clarke frowned, “why do you feel guilty? You were pursuing your passion.”

“Sure. But I was all she had. I was literally all she had, Clarke. That kid had seen nothing but an ugly world since her parents died, I took a liking to her instantly because I could relate to her brokenness. I mean hell, you know what happened to my parents.”

Clarke nodded.

“I wasn’t surprised Lexa attached herself to me the way she did, I encouraged it really. I was her confidant, her best friend, her sister, her rescuer. I pulled her out of that shitty fucking foster home when no one else did.”

Anya’s jaw was clenched so hard, Clarke thought her teeth would shatter in her mouth.

“I feel guilty because I left her alone. And I really struggled within myself about the decision. I got offered this art scholarship here and it was too good of an opportunity to pass up, because being an artist was my dream and my passion. But in doing so… meant leaving my family. Leaving Lexa. I will never forget the look on her face when I told her. Never.”

Clarke fidgeted awkwardly, “I can understand why you feel guilty… but she is doing so well for herself, Anya. I never knew her back then, but she is strong, and she has made such a good life for herself. Just like you, she pursued her dream of acting and look where she is now! You should go see her this week, I think it would be beneficial for the both of you to catch up.

Anya nodded, “yeah, I agree. I think I will.”

There was a beat of a pause before Anya continued, “she could help you with your grief, Clarke.”

Clarke was in shock, “what?”

“I know you are still grieving, Clarke. You never stopped. I can tell because every time you think about him you spiral, no one can mention his name save for me. It’s… I worry for your health. It’s not going to get better unless you face it and work through it. I think you should face it with her, she has experienced grief and has worked through it-,”

“Stop.”

“Clarke.”

“No, stop,” Clarke pushed up off the couch and stumbled through the woman’s house in search for her balcony. She needed air. She needed to get out.

Clarke found the door she was looking for and pushed herself into the open air, inhaling obnoxiously as it was the only thing her body willed her to do. She ran onto the grass and planted her hands on her knees and steadied her thoughts. The world was spinning around her, but she knew if she squeezed her eyes shut, the dizziness would be too much, and she would fall. Maybe that would be okay, though? She crumbled to the floor and laid on her back, staring up at the blue sky above. Her hands planted firmly on the dirt, fingers threading through the grass and for some reason, the cool sensation of the grass, the crisp air, and watching clouds float by with no care in the world, relaxed her.

Her breathing evened out as her eyes traced every cloud that passed, and she was okay. She felt Anya lay down beside her and Clarke closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Anya breathed out, “I will never push you, Clarke. I just need you to know that Lexa is a good person, and I know she will help you, if you let her.”

“Yeah.”

Is all Clarke can manage before the clouds hypnotised her once more. The girls lay on the ground for the rest of the afternoon before returning inside after fear of frostbite once the sun began to set.

 

//

 

All Clarke knew is that after the day she had she had a lot of steam to blow off. Because she knew Anya was right, she had never gone through the grieving stages properly and even now, hasn’t worked through her grief. Clarke made her way into the dojo she trained and spars in and set her bag down against one of the back walls.

“Clarke, been a minute, how are you?” A huge, muscled and tattooed man said as he moved out of his office. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a black tank top.

Clarke smiled at the man, “hey, Lincoln. Haven’t really had the time to come in but I’m _really_ in the need of a sparring session right now.”

“Sure, what type of sparring do you want to do?”

Clarke made her way to the centre of the dojo, thankful that it was currently empty save for Lincoln. She hummed in thought before replying, “honestly, I just wanna hit you and not have to worry about you hitting me back.”

Lincoln laughed and nodded his head, “I’ll be right back, do some stretches.”

Clarke watched her friend walk off and began to stretch out her arms. Lincoln is the owner of this dojo and has owned it for quite some time now. He was the one her mother entrusted to teach her mixed martial arts 6 years ago, at that time he was just a trainer here. He taught Clarke intensively and she loved it. It was a great way to get all her anger out, and he could take _all_ she gave him. They would have intense sparring sessions once she was good enough to actually engage in blocking and striking him.

Lincoln walked back into the room with a pile of gloves in his hand. He made his way over to Clarke who took the boxing gloves graciously and slipped them on while Lincoln slipped his pads on his own.

They stood opposite each other and Lincoln put his hands up in the surrender position and Clarke bounced on her heels for a bit before taking two hits at his pads. God, it felt good.

She did it again, harder this time, and again and again, hitter harder and harder each time until she caught Lincoln off guard and he stumbled backwards a bit.

“Shit, Clarke, what’s gotten you so worked up?” He says as he assumed his stance again but moved his back leg further away from him, so he could stand steadier.

Clarke chuckled and regained as she raised her fists in front of her again, hitting the pads once more

“Girl troubles.”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows as Clarke gave him another rally.

Clarke stopped and lowered her hands, so she could catch her breath, “I met this girl and she’s absolutely amazing, but she only sees me as a friend.”

“Are you sure she only sees you as a friend?”

“I’m pretty positive,” she replies as she picks her fists back up again, “she’s been through a lot, and she has a lot of walls.”

“I see.”

Clarke punched at his pads four times before pulling away again and wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand, “Anya told me to talk to her about my dad, because she has experienced severe grief also.”

“Anya must feel pretty passionate about it if she actually brought something like that up with you.”

“Yeah,” two hits, “I guess so,” two more hits, “if I was to ever talk about my dad it would be with her,” two more hits, “but I’m scared to.”

Clarke put her hands back onto her knees and inhaled ferociously.

“Why are you scared?”

“Because I don’t want to open up to that extent for her to… leave or hurt me.”

Lincoln lowered his hands to his sides to engage Clarke properly.

“I understand, Clarke. I wouldn’t rush into telling her anything because that would destroy you, but I also don’t know anything about this mystery girl. So, I guess I’m bias towards you.”

Clarke smiled, “Anya knows her really well, so I guess she’s biased towards her too. I don’t know. I’m not rushing into anything. We both have walls, we both enjoy each other’s company, I’ll just see where it goes, I guess.”

“Come on,” Lincoln says as he brings his hands back up again, “get it all out, hit me again.”

Clarke smiled and sparred with Lincoln religiously for the next hour until she couldn’t feel her arms anymore. But she much preferred this type of pain to the pain she was scared of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens! it's about to get interesting.  
> oh hey, do you guys want some lexa memories? let me know!


	12. Chapter Twelve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a warning:   
> the first memory sequence is about lexa's parents death, bit intense, if you think you may be triggered by it, feel free to skip, it won't impact the story (it's more for you understand the characters backgrounds). 
> 
> feel free to continue to leave kudos and comments, you're all munchkins and i adore you all. thank you for always motivating me to continue.

_“Alexandria! Come on, we are going to be late!”_

_Lexa grumbled at her mother’s calls echoing from downstairs, she was trying to get this dress on but was struggling with the zipper on her back as she couldn’t quite reach it. She thought it best to get her mother’s help, so she did what she could and slipped her shoes on._

_The rain was beating on her window so terribly hard, it was reverberating throughout the entire house. Lexa quickly scurried downstairs to where her parents were nattering away in the living room._

_“Mother, I can’t get the zipper,” Lexa pouted._

_“Come here, darling,” her mother smiled and gestured for her to turn around._

_“Alex, I really don’t think we should be driving right now,” she said to her husband with concern evident in her voice. She quickly zipped up her daughter’s dress with one swift movement._

_“Ana, please. You know how important this dinner is for the business. We have to,” Alex said fixing his tie._

_“This storm is really bad, I don’t know if it’s safe.”_

_Alex’s brows furrowed, “it’s just a bit of rain. No one died from rain.”_

_Lexa folded her arms, “that’s a lie, father. I saw lightning from my window.”_

_Alex went over to rest his hand on his daughter’s head, “no one died from that either.”_

_“Another lie,” the brunette rolled her eyes._

_Lexa looked over to her mother who was looking very uneasy._

_“Why do we have to bring Lexa to this dinner?” She queried as she caught Lexa’s stare._

_“Because, Ana,” he sighed deeply, “they wanted to meet her, they aren’t people you question. Now, can you do her hair? And be quick, we are leaving in 5 minutes.”_

_Ana sighed and turned to her daughter, “do you need help putting your hair into a bun?”_

_Lexa shrugged, “probably not, but you always do it best.”_

_Her mother smiled and gestured they move to the bathroom and so they did. Lexa turned to face away from Ana as she pulled the brush out from the drawer and began brushing through the girl’s wavy locks._

_“You need to be on your best behaviour tonight, okay?” Her mother stressed as she began pulling at Lexa’s hair and forming a bun atop her head._

_“I’m always on my best behaviour.”_

_Ana laughed, “I know you are, dear. But you know how your father gets. This is really important for him.”_

_“I know. Shame about the weather though.”_

_“Indeed. It’s quite the storm.”_

_Lexa saw her mother’s brows furrow in the mirror, “it will be okay, mother. No need to stress.”_

_She smiled back as she finished pinning her daughter’s hair back in a tight bun, “all done.”_

_“Thanks!” She kissed her mother’s cheek and exited the bathroom, her mother following suit._

_They re-entered the living room where Alex was still picking at his tie._

_“You look dashing, dear. Stop fussing,” Ana said as she picked up her handbag from the table._

_He flashed her a kind smile before, “alright, let’s get going. Alexandria, can you get the umbrellas, please?”_

_Lexa huffed and moved to fetch three umbrellas before the trio left the living room and exited the house._

_The rain was ferocious now and Lexa gasped at the sight and sound of it all. She quickly put her umbrella up and began walking to her parent’s car, she had to hold the umbrella tightly in place in fear of it blowing away and rendering her absolutely drenched. She could hear thunder resounding the charcoal sky, flashes of lightning breaking through the streams._

_Her family managed to get into the car unscathed and Alex started the car. He began pulling out of their driveway and flicked his brights on. He slowly made his way onto the road, wipers on max._

_“I can barely see a thing,” he groaned as he strained his eyes trying to pierce the rainy veil in front of him._

_“I don’t like this, Alex,” her mother cooed from the passenger seat._

_“Relax, Ana.”_

_Lexa just sat back and stared out of her window, mind wondering._

_She truly didn’t even want to go to this dinner, she found them so ridiculously boring, but she knew it was important to her father and she only ever strived to make him proud. If being an obedient daughter warranted his affections, then obedient she shall be._

_This storm is rather unnerving, she thinks. She definitely shares her mother’s concerns but doesn’t dare to raise it because it would be pointless, they’re already on their way._

_CRACK._

_Lexa jumped at the sudden lightning strike only feet away from them, causing Ana to jump as well._

_“Are you okay, Lexa?”_

_“Yes, mother.”_

_She saw her mother turn to give Alex a nervous look, but he just kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead, well, what he could see of it._

_“We’re nearly there, it’s just off the highway,” he reassured as he pulled onto the highway._

_Lexa just stayed silent in the backseat, trying not to fidget and draw her mother’s attention knowing she was hyperaware of everything at the moment._

_Perks about the highway is that it’s just a straight road and they can afford to drive slower than usual, but Lexa could feel the speed of the car wasn’t slow at all and she knows this is because they’re late. Which was Lexa’s fault. She knew her father has a habit of punctuality, but she selfishly enjoyed her warm shower for longer than she should have._

_She could just make out the forest trees beside her, she’d always wanted to venture into them because they looked cool and creepy, but she knew that was most likely illegal._

_She heard thunder rattling above her, it sounded… literally above her…_

_She saw the sky light up and then it was over._

_CRACK._

_Lexa’s attention was drawn to the road in front of them, so bright it nearly blinded her._

_“Shit!” She heard her father exclaim as she felt the car swerve to the right._

_The road was so slippery, it did not take kindly to the sudden motion, the rain was so heavy you couldn’t even see the road… or lack of._

_She felt the car dip down into the slope and she knew they were no longer on the road, she could sense her father’s frantic attempts of regaining the wheel… or lack of._

_She felt the gravel clatter beneath them, she was gripping at her seat with her dear life, head pressed firming against the headrest, heart beating louder than the patter of rain outside._

_“Alex!”_

_She heard her mother yell. And that was the last thing she heard._

_//_

_Everything was black._

_So black._

_Her head hurt._

_Her nose hurt._

_Her cheek hurt._

_Her leg hurt._

_Why were they all hurting?_

_What’s going on?_

_Lexa opened her eyes, and hissed as her eyes attempted to refocus, her head spinning intensely._

_Her face was wet?_

_She brought her hands to her face and dabbed lightly before staring down at her crimson hand._

_Her eyes widened at the sight and suddenly she remembered where she was. Her eyes snapped open this time, she looked around at her shattered windows, she could feel the rain spitting on her skin. She brought her attention forward and saw her parents. Her mother was crumpled over the dashboard, her father was half out the window. The windscreen had been removed entirely. In fact, so had their bonnet. In its place was a tree trunk._

_“Mom!”_

_“Dad!”_

_Lexa rapidly began working at her seatbelt and grimaced as she removed it from her flesh where there was a burn on her waist and shoulder._

_She leant forward and began shaking her mother, “mom! Wake up!”_

_Tears were filling Lexa’s eyes, heart racing so fast she thought it would break the bone cage in her chest. Her hands were shaking, and she felt blood dripping from her face, she felt her head going fuzzy again, but she knew she had to call an ambulance._

_Phone._

_Lexa began scrambling for her purse, which was not where she left it. Her eyes darted in the dark and began feeling every inch of the backseat, her fingers getting caught on shards of glass, but Lexa didn’t even wince._

_She found her purse underneath the passenger seat and quickly began working at the zip before pulling out her phone. She almost yelled at how bright her screen was, it only made her head hurt worse._

_But the light also allowed her to see how banged up her body was, the sight of blood and glass made her freeze, but her eyes were quickly drawn back to her unconscious parents in the front seat and she began dialling 911._

_“Hello, this is 911, what is your emergency?”_

_“Please, help! Our car crashed, you have to help my parents!”_

_Lexa could hear the woman on the line replying something she knew she had to respond to, and she tried, she really tried to home in and focus on the sound, but her head had had enough. It began to swim, and it made her tired. The phone dropped to the floor and she tried to reach out for her mother, but everything went black._

_So black._

Lexa woke up with a gasp, she clutched at her shirt, trying to find her heart to know she was real and alive. She was sitting upright on the bed, but she willed herself up and out, she moved so quickly she fell but she needed to move. She was on her hands and knees on the floor of her trailer gasping for air. She was sweating and shaking, and she crawled over to her sink before standing up and splashing her face profusely with water.

“What the hell,” she panted.

Lexa hasn’t had a nightmare about her parents in years, and she knows this. Most of her nightmares are about her orphanage and foster experience but _never_ her parents. This was mainly because it was one of those instances where the brain purposefully hides the memory away because it is too traumatic to bare. So, why now?

Lexa’s eyes brimmed with tears and she had to shake them away.

“No,” she said aloud.

“Not now, you can’t do this now. Get it together. It was just a dream.”

But it wasn’t just a dream, it was a memory, and she knows this.

She used to have this nightmare every night when she first went to the orphanage, the kids would get annoyed with her screaming in the night. Anya gave her ways to cope with her nightmares…

Anya.

“Anya.”

Lexa moved over to her phone and began to dial Anya’s number.

“Wait,” her brows furrowed, “I don’t have her number.”

God, does she need to call Anya though.

“Clarke has her number.”

Lexa began dialling Clarke’s number without a second thought, not caring that it’s barely past 6am. She tapped her foot anxiously as she wiped the sweat and water off her brow with her free hand.

_“Lexa?”_

Lexa’s heart dropped at the sheer use of her name. Clarke’s raspy morning voice coaxed with concern and worry. She felt sick with butterflies but also trepidation from the events before.

_“Lexa? Are you there?”_

Lexa gulped down the lump in her throat, “Clarke, hi. I’m so sorry to wake you.”

She tried really hard to normalise her voice, she really did, but it came out shaky and exasperated.

_“It’s okay. Are you okay?”_

Lexa really contemplated saying no, she really did, but she wasn’t about to dump her emotional instability on a girl she barely knows. She doesn’t want to scare Clarke off, not when things are so good. Lexa knows she’s a lot to handle, Costia did too. She took in a deep breath and put on the bravest voice she could muster.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just have a favour to ask.”

_“Anything?”_

“Can you forward me Anya’s number? I’d really appreciate it. I know it’s a weird request for 6am but-,”

_“No, it’s okay. I’ll forward it right now.”_

Lexa smiled relief at the words, “thank you.”

She bit at her lip, much like Clarke does when she’s nervous, “I’ll let you be, thanks again for picking up. Um, have a good day, okay?”

She heard Clarke chuckle, _“You too, Lexa.”_

And then the line went dead.

It only took seconds before Lexa’s phone lit up with a notification from Clarke containing Anya’s number.

 **Lexa[6:10am]:** Thank you, Clarke.

 **Clarke[6:10am]:** No problem. Hope you’re okay. I’m here if you ever need anything.

Lexa smiled at her screen. She truly did wish she could talk to the girl, and yes, the first step was over because the blonde was aware of what happened to her parents, but Lexa has so much emotional baggage and if Costia wasn’t able to take it, how could Clarke?

Lexa quickly saved the number as a contact and dialled it. She tapped her foot once again before she heard the line pick up.

“Hey An, it’s me, Lexa. I need your counsel.”

 

//

 

Clarke set her phone back down on her side table and groaned at the ache in her arms from her spar session. Everything hurt. Her muscles were so tight and sore and knew she had to stretch them out as soon as she left the bed.

“God, I hope Lexa is okay. She sounded so desperate.”

Clarke yawned and sheepishly rubbed at her eyes.

“6am, huh?”

Clarke thought about getting up and starting her day, considering she was already awake, but it only took a beat for her to decide against it. She was out like a light before she could even register Kibbles’ meows coming down the hallway.

//

When she finally reopened her eyes, she felt a pressure on her chest and smiled when she saw Kibbles fast asleep on her torso. She lay there for a while as she went to stroke her cat’s soft ginger fur, effectively waking him up but he contently purred into her hand.

Clarke went to grab her phone and it opened to her texts with Lexa, “oh my god, I thought that was a dream.”

Her eyes lifted from the messages to the time and her eyes widened, “12pm! Holy shit! I’m going to be late for work!”

She pushed up off the bed, leaving Kibbles to deal with the aftermath. Clarke quickly made work of stripping her pyjamas and getting into her work-suitable clothes. Then she threw everything she needed into her backpack and grabbed one of her many coats, she didn’t care what she looked like today. Before she knew it, she was out the door and in her car.

The drive was quick, and she found a parking spot close to the radio station entrance. She made her way through the building at an Olympic speed before she was stopped by Marcus, “Clarke!”

“Oh, Marcus, hi.”

Marcus chuckled as he observed Clarke’s panting, “it looks like you’ve just run a marathon.”

Clarke relaxed a bit, “woke up late. What can I help you with?”

“Just saying hi and making sure you’re ready for today’s segment.”

_“Shit. The segment.”_

She’d forgotten all about that.

“Ready as ever!”

Marcus narrowed his eyes, “mhm. Well, don’t disappoint! Your audience is eager to hear what you have to say.”

Clarke knitted her brows, “um, Mr. Kane, what should I talk about today?”

The man laughed at the blonde’s comment and hummed in thought, “talk about whatever is plaguing you the most. Talk about something the listeners can relate to.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

She couldn’t do that.

“Oh, and might I suggest, the listeners have mentioned how they want a means to contact you and ask questions, you should make a twitter account for this or something along the social media lines.”

Clarke was taken aback, “they do? Why?”

Marcus shrugged, “they like you I guess, and our website isn’t exactly user friendly. Just a suggestion!”

Her boss flashed her a kind smile and exchanged a goodbye before heading back to his office to allow Clarke to continue her journey to the live studio. She found Nathan already waiting outside the room with two coffees in his hands.

“For you,” he said extending an arm.

Clarke looked at him like he just hung the moon and the stars in the sky for her, “oh my god, Nathan, I could kiss you right now,” she said as she graciously took the cup and sipped at it like the liquid was her life source.

“Thanks, but no thanks. That’s reserved only for Monty.”

Clarke laughed, “I’d hope so! How are you two?”

“Great,” he smiled.

The morning hosts left the room allowing Clarke and Nathan to assume their positions. They sat in silence as they ruffled through their papers in preparation. When it was time, Nathan announced their arrival, and everything flowed beautifully.

Sometime during one of the songs, Clarke was thinking about what Marcus said to her… a twitter account _does_ makes sense, right? She was just so surprised that people actually cared enough about her shitty talks.

 _“Nothing to lose, I guess,”_ Clarke said to herself as she opened up her twitter account, the one she barely uses. She changed her username to @ClarkeRT and adjusted her bio accordingly. She also felt the need to delete some of her… well… tweets, that would definitely not be professional at all.

She smiled at the new rebranding, she knew it probably wouldn’t get much attention, but it felt refreshing, nonetheless.

 

//

_Lexa held her bag tight to her chest as she anxiously followed a stern-looking woman through a dark and cold hallway._

_“And this is where you will be sleeping, go choose a bed and put your things down before we continue our tour,” a woman who introduced herself as Indra, said._

_Lexa stared into the huge room, lined with beds and littered with children of varying ages. Lexa felt uncomfortable and overwhelmed._

_“I’d rather keep them with me,” Lexa replied hugging her bag closer._

_Indra looked over the girl and saw the pleading in her eyes. Lexa’s broken leg had healed but the doctors recommended that she still wears the cast for a couple more weeks. Her nose however, still carried the cut on its bridge from where it smacked the passenger’s seat._

_Indra took a deep breath, knowing how terrifying this must be for the girl, and replaced her firm eyes with soft ones, “alright, but only until the tour is done, okay?”_

_Lexa only nodded and began to follow the woman through the rest of the orphanage. It wasn’t too big, but it was big enough, and there were a lot of kids. She got shown the essentials of the building but truthfully, Lexa zoned out as soon as they left the sleeping quarters. This was all too much, everything happened so quickly but all she knew is that she definitely didn’t want to be here. No, she didn’t. She doesn’t belong here. She could feel herself getting worked up and agitated and god, did she need some air. Is there even free-flowing oxygen in this place? It was stuffy, and she could feel her skin prickling and she needed to go,_ now.

_So, what did she do? She ran. She ran as fast as she could, clutching her bag and ignoring all the calls from the woman with the stern-face. Indra tried to follow her, but Lexa was too quick. Even with her cast, she could carry herself speedily. She had no idea where she was going, and honestly this building was an absolute maze, but she sprinted down hallways and around corners, tears streaming down her face. She passed countless other children staring at her in bewilderment, but Lexa took zero notice because she ran and ran until her lungs were beginning to give out. And to no avail, she could find no exit. Is she in a prison? It certainly didn’t look like one, but it damn well felt like one._

_She doesn’t belong here. She’s the daughter of Alexander and Anastasia Woods, a prestigious family with a successful business. She is Alexandria Woods, and she doesn’t belong here. She needs to find her parents. She doesn’t belong here._

_“I don’t belong here!”_

_Lexa yelled before she ran into someone. Lexa fell backwards, losing hold of her bag as she fell onto her backside. She clutched her cast leg and looked up at the offending obstacle that knocked her down. She was a striking woman, tall and fierce like Indra but her face was soft and warm, and she looked over Lexa and knelt, so they were eye-level._

_Lexa’s cheeks were stained with tears and she looked as if she was ready to murder someone, but the woman only smiled._

_“Alexandria!”_

_Lexa heard as Indra came running down one of the many hallways, seemingly out of breath after the chase, “I finally found you, what were you thinking!”_

_Lexa turned her head around to face Indra, she tried to act tough but when she spoke her voice was laced with despair, “I just needed some air.”_

_“Well you can’t ju-,”_

_“Relax, Indra,” the woman said behind her._

_Lexa turned around to face her new saviour, eyes wide. She looked at Lexa once before her eyes returned to Indra, “I got this one.”_

_“Are you sure?” Indra said moving her hands to her hips._

_“I’m sure.”_

_Indra hummed before looking at Lexa once more, and moved away out of sight._

_The striking woman stood up and held out a hand to Lexa, “I’m Anya.”_

_Lexa reluctantly took the woman’s hand and she hauled her to her feet, “Alexandria.”_

_Anya smiled and moved to pick up the discarded bag full of what remained of Lexa’s life, and placed them securely back into Lexa’s arms._

_“Come, let’s get you that air.”_

_Lexa lips curled at the remark and Anya guided her around a few more corners until they were faced with a pair of large glass door, and promptly exited the building into what looked like the gardens._

_“Alexandria Woods, right?” Anya said as she descended some stairs onto the grass._

_Lexa only nodded._

_“I’m sorry about your parents, kid.”_

_Lexa felt her eyes well up again but this time she refused to let them fall. She forced herself to find a stoic mask within to replace her weakness._

_“I don’t belong here,” she repeated bluntly._

_“Look, kid,” Anya began, “I know this is scary and I know it’s a lot, and it’s a huge difference to what you’re used to-,”_

_“You don’t know anything about what I’m going through,” Lexa interrupted._

_Anya sighed as the pair walked through some rather beautiful gardens. Anya gestured for them to sit at one of the benches, and with much reluctance from Lexa, they both sat down._

_“Sure, I don’t know what you’re going through, but I do know that my mother was killed by my father when I was eight years old and when he went to prison, I had no relatives around to look after me. I know that I was forced into an orphanage, a lot like this one, and I know that no parents wanted to foster me because I was ‘too fucked up’ and they just didn’t realise that my cold front was really a plea for help and a want for them to prove to me that they actually cared enough about me to push through my worst in order to get my best. I know that my orphanage experience would have been hell if it wasn’t for the amazing staff around me that supported me through everything. And that’s why I volunteer here, to make sure kids like me have the same support I did, because I probably wouldn’t be here without them,” Anya concluded as she looked off into the distance._

_Lexa honestly didn’t know what to make of all this new information. It was a lot. Lexa was many things, but she wasn’t a bitch and she regrets being so stone-cold with a woman who was only trying to help her._

_“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions…”_

_Anya turned back around to meet the green gaze, “don’t be sorry, kid. I just want you to know that this isn’t easy, and you’re allowed to be protective and withdrawn because you’ve been through a lot. Everyone here has. But you aren’t alone. It will take you weeks to adjust, and it will be different and difficult, but I promise to make sure you adjust as easy as possible.”_

_Lexa cocked her head to the side, “why me?”_

_Anya reached over to rest her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, “because you remind me of myself. I too ran through my orphanage seeking exit, also yelling that I didn’t belong there. And you don’t belong here, no one belongs here. But life is a bitch, and you’ve ended up here. One thing is for certain, I’m your friend. And I will always be here for you, well, Monday through to Thursday, but if you ever need anything, or someone to talk to, I’m your girl, okay?”_

_Lexa felt her eyes brim with tears, and she didn’t stop them this time, this time she lunged for Anya and held on to her like she was the only thing keeping her alive, because at this point, she may as well be._

_“Thank you,” Lexa cried into Anya’s neck._

_Lexa felt a smile against her forehead._

_“You aren’t alone, kid.”_

_//_

“My, my, my. Alexandria. How long has it been?”

Lexa’s face lit up like a lighthouse at the sight of her oldest friend, the only person in the world that’s left to call family.

“Too long,” Lexa said as she pulled Anya into the tightest embrace.

“You’ve gotten so tall!” Anya says as she sizes Lexa up after they pull away, “let me just… let me look at you for a second.”

Lexa nodded and smiled as Anya raked over her features, tears beginning to form in Anya’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asked with concern lacing her voice.

Anya only shook her head with a smile, “you have grown into such a beautiful young woman, Alexandria. You are glowing. I have never seen you like this, and I prayed, every day, that you would carry a smile you are carrying now. I am _so_ proud of you, Lexa.”

Those words hit Lexa like a freight train. Lexa rarely ever gets to hear things like ‘I’m proud of you,’ she misses the way her parents used to tell her that, her mother more so then her father. She blinks back her own tears and gestures for the pair to sit down, “come, I only have an hour unfortunately.”

Anya nodded, and she sat down at one of the tables before Lexa asked, “I’ll buy your coffee, what do you want?”

The woman hummed in response, “just a latte, please.”

Lexa nodded and walked off to stand in line.

It didn’t take long before she was back sitting opposite to her friend who looked at her with adoring eyes.

“This is Clarke’s favourite coffee shop,” Anya announced fondly.

Lexa’s eyes twinkled, “I know, her favourite is a caramel macchiato. Far too sweet for me.”

Anya grinned mischievously, “oh you know, do you?”

“She took me here after we first,” Lexa grinned back.

Anya hummed, “yes, that girl does have quite the sweet tooth. Her father was a black coffee drinker and it put her off standard coffee forever, saying it’s far too bitter. She always has to have some kind of syrup in it.”

Lexa frowned and chewed on her lip thoughtfully, “when he did pass?”

Anya took a silent breath and slouched her shoulders, “when she was 16.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Indeed. But she has never gotten over it.”

Lexa shrugged, “did you know him?”

“I did,” she nodded, “he was one of the first people I met when I moved here. He was in the same art program that I was, and we got along instantly. Jake was one of the most, if not _the_ loveliest man I have ever met. His talent was out of this world too, and I adored painting with him. He introduced me to his family and the rest was history. I only knew him for two years, but I got really close with him, his wife, and Clarke.”

Lexa offered a smile, “he sounds lovely.”

“He was. You would have loved him. God, he would have loved you.”

“That’s what Clarke said.”

Anya perked up at the words and looked at her curiously, “she did?”

“Yeah,” the brunette nodded, “she told me that I had eyes like him too.”

Anya raked over Lexa’s features with appraisal, “that you do, kid.”

At that, a waitress came over to their table with two coffees in her hands, “I have a latte?”

“Here,” Anya said, with the waitress dropping the coffee in front of her with a smile.

“And an americano,” she smiled again as she passed Lexa hers.

After an exchange of thanks, she left them in peace.

“What do you think of Clarke?” Anya asked innocently as she sipped at her coffee.

Lexa blushed at the words, she was sure the reddening of her ears wasn’t going to go unnoticed, especially by Anya.

“I think she is lovely. Really kind, and thoughtful. She seems like the kind of person who will always put others before herself. I’m lucky to know her.”

Anya smirked, “you are correct with all of the above. Clarke is a good kid. I’ve seen her grow up from a young age, she’s been through her own trials, but she has come out alright.”

“Yet she still struggles with her father’s passing?”

“Clarke was… very close with her father. Those two were peas in a pod. They would paint together with every spare second they could find. Jake’s specialty was portrait painting, no one compares to him, not even I. Clarke picked up the skill quickly and she was fucking amazing at them but… after his passing, she rescinded from ever doing them again,” Anya sighed sadly, “she painted him for a few months after, stating that she never wanted to forget his face, but after a while, she even gave up on that.”

Lexa furrowed her brow. She was sad for Clarke.

“It’s a good thing she didn’t give up on art in general.”

“Clarke is too talented for that. Art was the only thing that gave her meaning and purpose. She said that by still painting, she felt connected to Jake somehow.”

“I hope to see her art someday.”

Anya smiled, “I’m sure you will. She is usually very private about her paintings but, she is fond of you.”

Lexa’s brows shot up, “she is?”

“Who wouldn’t be fond of you, Lex? You’re a darling.”

The brunette blushed, “oh stop.”

“Tell me about you, tell me everything from when I left,” Anya leaned adamantly on the table with her elbows.

Lexa hummed in thought for a few moments. Should she give her the short story, or the long story? Who is she kidding? Long story.

“Well… After I got out of the orphanage, I spent a year looking after my grandmother before her passing. She didn’t remember who I was, but I felt I owed her every moment I could give since I was unavailable prior. I found myself a local job and a nice place to stay, and I enrolled myself into some acting classes, which lead to workshops, which lead to masterclasses. I got scouted at one of the masterclasses by the person hosting it, who was a renowned actor, and he offered me a scholarship to the LA Screen Acting Academy which was an absolute blast. I learned a lot there and it opened a lot of pathways for me. Whilst studying there, I got scouted by a talent agent who sent me the audition details for an upcoming movie called Parallax, and I got the part. The film was a major hit and it skyrocketed my career. After that, I was a part of a tv series for two seasons, and now I’m here shooting another film.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” she chuckled.

“Sounds like things have really worked out for you, Lexa.”

“They did,” she smiled.

“Any relationships?”

Lexa’s breath hitched at the comment.

“That’s a yes,” Anya said as she tilted her head inquisitively, “what happened?”

“I was too much, I guess.”

Anya looked on and Lexa took that as a cue to keep going and she sighed.

“She was one of my co-stars on the tv series I worked on. We clicked right away, and started flirting early on, so it wasn’t long before we started dating. She was beautiful and charismatic, truly charming. I was happy with her but… I think I had too much emotional baggage for her, I guess. Our show got called back for a second season the following year, but she wanted to leave the show. You can imagine everyone’s reaction, including my own. It all made sense when she went to join another show, because she was having an affair with one of the leads on that show.”

“That bitch,” Anya spat.

Lexa shrugged.

“You can’t blame yourself, kid.”

“I mean, I can. She had to deal with my nightmares every night, my mood swings, my scars. Sure, I was living a successful life, and I was extremely happy, but I was and always will be haunted by my past. One can only take so much of that. Even she said that I was a lot of handle and that I was hard to love.”

Anya shook her head, “I don’t buy that for a second. She didn’t deserve you.”

“Maybe I didn’t deserve her. I most definitely do not deserve Clarke.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She’s… she’s Clarke. Beautiful. Intelligent. Kind and caring and considerate. She’s sensitive and attentive. She’s everything the world should strive to be.”

Lexa’s eyes moved to stare into the americano she had barely touched, and Anya began to think. Does Lexa reciprocate Clarke’s feelings? Are her suspicions being confirmed? Naturally Anya would never out Clarke’s feelings to Lexa or vice versa, but it would be interesting to know.

“Do you have feelings for her?”

Lexa’s eyes shot up to meet Anya’s and she flushed pink. She was going to deny it, she really was, but this was Anya. The pair had always been nothing but honest with each other, and she wasn’t about to ruin that rapport now. So, she nodded, and Anya’s lips curled.

“When you look at her, what do you see?” Anya asked.

“I see a sun that never sets.”

 

//

 

“That was such a lame joke, Nathan,” Clarke laughed into her mic.

He chuckled, “I know, I know. I’d like to see you do better!”

“I probably could!”

He shook his head, “anyway, listeners! Get ready for the upcoming song, it’s a banger! Stay tuned because afterwards it is time for Real Talk, done by none other than our lovely, Clarke Griffin! You won’t want to miss it!”

At that, the pair heard music flood their headsets and they muted and moved their mics away from them.

“What are you going to talk about today?” Nathan said playfully.

Clarke hummed, “that is a good question. Truthfully, I forgot about the segment until Marcus approached me earlier. He told me to speak about something that’s plaguing me the most, and something that the listeners can relate to.”

“And what _is_ plaguing Clarke Griffin the most?”

Clarke smiled to herselfand paused thoughtfully, “loving someone you cannot have.”

Nathan’s lips pursed with curiosity, but he knew not to press further.

//

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand welcome back listeners, this is Clarke Griffin, thanks for tuning in to FM96.5! How goddamn fantastic was that song? One of my favourites at the moment! Now, I hope you are all comfortable, because I’m going to get serious with you all for a bit. I’m going to open up about myself and what’s currently plaguing me,” she sighed, “having feelings for someone, is so dangerous, isn’t it? You put your heart on the line, you lay it down on the train-tracks never knowing when the train may come.

Loving someone you cannot have is a delicate process,

It’s holding the most beautiful rose in your hands, and pricking yourself purposefully with its thorns,

It’s the pain of being powerless to let go, to let the rose fall and walk away,

It’s the pain of clinging on, squeezing harder until your palms trickle with blood,

It’s the intoxicating addiction of endorphins being unconfined to ease the tears in your skin,

To love someone you cannot have is a painful process,

There’s someone out there that I love, and cannot have,

They are the rose whose left my palms crimson,

They are the rose I’ll never let fall.”

Clarke took a quick breath.

“Listeners, do you love someone you cannot have? Heart-wrenching isn’t it? But I know that you are strong, so don’t be disheartened. Your heart is strong, and you will find someone who will return the love you’re aching to give out. I understand what it’s like for them to occupy your every thought, to know that the situation is a ticking timebomb. But how about this? We will work through this together. Yeah? If you want to reach out to me about anything, or discuss anything further, find me on twitter at ClarkeRT. Anyway, listeners! That’s all we have time for unfortunately, now it’s time to receive a traffic report from our amazing and charming, Nathan Miller!”

Clarke heard Nathan clear his throat and begin speaking into his mic, but Clarke was distracted by the buzzing coming from her pocket. Weird. She is sure she silenced it.

Clarke took out her phone and quickly silenced it before noticing that her notifications were going off like crazy.

_“What the.”_

Clarke opened her twitter and her mentions were being _bombarded._ She was receiving followers let right and centre. People were tweeting her about the talk, saying how good it was, or who this mystery person was, or what were Clarke’s steps to getting over someone.

Clarke scoffed internally, _“I wish I knew the steps to getting over someone.”_

Clarke was overwhelmed by the response and attention her twitter was already receiving, but now was not the time to be focusing on that. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and tuned back into the conversation Nathan was having with the listeners.

 

//

 

It was 1am on the dot and Clarke was out doing her weekly grocery shopping. Weird time to be doing her shopping, she knows, but after she got home from work her mind was _buzzing_. She had a pretty lengthy phone conversation with her mom around 11pm, during her work break, and they had a nice chat about what was going on in each other’s lives. Abby didn’t have too much to update Clarke on, so she just shared a collection of hilarious work stories with her. Clarke however, had a lot to update her mother on. She told her about how the gallery went, how Anya and Lexa knew each other (which completely rattled Abby that way it rattled Clarke). She also told her about the party and how Lexa and Raven came, and how Raven and Octavia are smitten for each other, also adding in how Clarke is smitten for Lexa. Clarke, however, purposefully neglected to mention her freak-out and how Lexa stayed over that night.

It was a nice catch up talk though, Clarke missed her mom and was happy that they were making more of an effort with each other. A positive to the mess that has been the last few weeks, is that they became more aware that they really knew nothing about what happens in each other’s lives anymore. So, they vowed to be better, and so far, they were holding to that.

They spoke for an hour and after she had to go, Clarke was still wide away. Clarke busied herself by baffling over her twitter account. She had gained over a thousand followers between concluding her talk and the present time. She went about thanking people who complimented her talk and answering any questions that people had tweeted at her. She tweeted out a general thank you which also got good responses.

People were _very_ curious to who this mystery person was. Of course, she would and could never say. She would look like some obsessive and deranged fan if she announced that her love interest was Alexandria Woods. Little did people know, that the pair had actually spent a decent about of time with one another. I mean, they were friends, right? She could at least classify them as that. She also vowed to never reveal the gender of her interest, she didn’t want to bring any negative attention to the radio station as she was well aware her actions reflected the company.

She lay in bed for a while, unable to fall asleep. And she remembered she hadn’t done her weekly grocery shopping yet, so here she is! Doing her shopping at a 24/7 supermarket at 1am. She’d only been night shopping a handful of times, it was definitely a weird feeling, but she figured she enjoyed having something relatively calming to do before bed without the hustle and bustle of people pushing themselves in and out of the store.

In fact, there was no one in the store, that she was aware of. She went about with her shopping cart, picking up items here and there that she needed for the week. The supermarket was quite large, she thought. She leisurely strolled throughout each aisle, in no rush at all. She began humming loudly to one of her favourite jazz songs absentmindedly, brushing her hands across the shelves.

“Where is that goddamn flour,” she said aloud in frustration.

It wasn’t where she thought it would be, this store’s layout is different to the supermarket she frequents.

She pushed her cart towards the other end of the aisle and sighed relief when she found what she was looking for. She reached out for the various bags and boxes and inspected each one, so intrinsically invested into the prices she was unaware of the figure that slid into the space next to her.

“Hey there.”

Clarke jumped 5 feet into the air with a loud scream with her arm knocking over at least 10 boxes of flour.

The blonde recovered and looked over to the figure of the voice, had it not been her favourite voice in the whole world, she would have been furious at the scare.

“Jesus, Lexa! You gave me a heart attack!”

The brunette only keeled over in a fit of laughter and Clarke blushed crimson, but she couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“You should have seen the look on your face!” Lexa slapped her knee and had to wipe the tears away from her eyes, “I’m so sorry, Clarke,” she followed up as she began to pick up the fallen boxes and began to stack them back on the shelf.

Once everything was back as it was, Lexa went to go retrieve her shopping cart that she discarded in the middle of the aisle, clearly because it would have made too much noise for her surprise attack.

“You’re a child,” Clarke pouted as Lexa returned.

She had such a playful smile on her face as she spoke, “it was an opportunity I could not pass up.”

“I thought I was alone in here.”

“I did too until I heard your humming and I thought I would come say hello.”

“You said hello, alright.”

Both the girls chuckled.

“What are you doing shopping so late?” The brunette asked.

“I couldn’t sleep. Yourself?”

“I just finished work. And in all honesty, I prefer to do things like this at early hours of the morning, to avoid fans or the press,” she sighed exhaustedly, “as much as I love my fans, sometimes I really just want to go about doing normal activities like food shopping without being stopped every 5 minutes.”

Clarke could only imagine how frustrating that must be.

“I understand. I can imagine that constantly running into people would become frustrating,” Clarke replied with a smile.

Lexa sighed wistfully, “indeed. Although, it’s not too often I get to run into people that I like.

Clarke ducked her head to hide her smile before looking back up, “wanna do our shopping together?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

The pair set off with their shopping carts and continued going through each aisle. Clarke learned that Lexa indeed wasn’t too fond of cooking and most of things she picked off the shelves were pastas, canned sauces and frozen meals. Clarke, however, knew each individual ingredient she wanted for each meal she planned on cooking and Lexa found it extremely amusing.

“I’m almost jealous at how together your life is,” Lexa laughed as she watched Clarke take some baking powder off the shelf.

“Why? Because I’m buying baking powder?” Clarke chuckled.

“No, idiot!” Lexa playfully slapped at Clarke’s shoulder, “because look at your cart versus my cart!”

Lexa dramatically gestured between the two metal carts and Clarke laughed.

“I just enjoy cooking! My life is certainly not together but I just enjoying exploring things I have control over. Like cooking. Sure, sometimes I’ll burn something because I’m distracted, or I’ll undercook something because I’m impatient but overall, I have complete control over it. I can make what I want, add what I want, and the end result will be what I want.”

Lexa just stared at Clarke with amusement and Clarke began to stumble over her words, “god I sound like some control freak, I uh, I just like, you know, I-,”

“I get it,” Lexa smiled and put her hand up to silence Clarke, “life is hectic and it’s not something we have control over so it’s nice to invest in things you do. It’s grounding. It’s why I act, I have control over the character I play, it takes me away from the life I have now and allows me to experience another. It’s liberating, whether the character has a sad or a happy past.”

Clarke nodded as the pair pushed off and continued their stroll, “well, does your current character have a sad _or_ happy past?”

Lexa laughed, “that isn’t something I’m at liberty to discuss.”

Clarke was about to say she understood until Lexa continued speaking, “however, I trust you,” she smirked, and Clarke wished she was sitting so she could clench her thighs together, “my character… her upbringing was pleasant, good family and good friends. Unfortunately for her however, her life is about to unravel rather quickly, and it will be a shock for her. She’s about to meet someone and fall in love but things aren’t going to go as planned. I’m honestly intrigued to not participate in a fairy tale.”

Clarke laughed as they turned a corner into another aisle, “you don’t believe in happy endings?”

 The brunette hummed, “not particularly. I gave up on that a long time ago.”

Clarke frowned but it was quickly wiped off when an item was thrust in her direction. Clarke looked at Lexa inquisitively.

“Peanut butter, it was on your list,” her green eyes sparkled.

Clarke shook her head, “right, of course it is. Thank you,” Clarke grabbed the jar and placed it in her cart.

Clarke surprisingly really enjoyed shopping with Lexa, it felt so natural by the way they handed each other things and suggested different ingredients and foods. Clarke knew Lexa didn’t have a lot of time to cook things, so she made sure to educate her on a few 10-minute recipes which Lexa gladly got the ingredients for.

“Have you met your character’s love interest yet?” Clarke asked innocently, not because she was jealous but just genuinely curious.

Lexa shook her head, “actually I haven’t. I heard that they haven’t even cast her yet.”

Clarke’s eyebrows shot up at that. Her. Okay, now she was jealous.

“I believe they are about to pick someone, and we will have her at the start of next week,” Lexa tossed some muesli bars into her cart, “it’s no drama though, as she doesn’t enter into the film for a while, so they could afford to start shooting without her.”

“Is it difficult being intimate with people you don’t have feelings for?” Clarke asked.

“Not as hard as people think. I really separate myself from the character I am playing, and I completely get inside their head, it really helps because that way I am able to form and separate feelings and emotions from each person. Besides, I am fairly sure my character gets severely fucked over by the lover… I haven’t read that far into the script but that’s what I’ve gathered.”

Clarke laughed as she gently put half a dozen eggs into her cart, “you almost sound excited at that.”

Lexa gave Clarke a curt smile, “I just enjoy experiencing different things when it comes to characters.”

The pair were finished with their shopping and made their way over to the cash register with the cashier looking bored out of his brains.

Understandably, so.

“I also enjoy exploring characters that I can relate to. That way, I can draw from my own experiences and thread them into my character, ultimately allowing me to give off the best emotional performance I can.”

Clarke looked upon Lexa with adoring eyes. Hearing her talk about something she was so passionate was inspiring. Lexa really loved what she does, and it reflects not only her performance but the person that she is as well.

Clarke furrowed her brows upon reflecting her words.

“Are you talking about your ex?”

“I am.”

Since Lexa had less items, she went first and began unloading all her items so the cashier could check them out for her.

“But hey,” Lexa began as she continued unloading her items, “I’m grateful for my experiences because that’s shaped me into the person I am, and it has made me a better actor.”

Lexa finished unloading her items and went to push her cart through to the other end to begin putting her bagged items back into the cart.

The brunette flicked her chestnut curls over to one shoulder so it wouldn’t get in her face and Clarke wanted nothing more than to thread her hands through it. Her hair was so, so soft…

Lexa looked up, making eye contact with Clarke and gave her a shy smile which brought Clarke back to reality. She shook her head clear and began to unload her items as well while Lexa paid for her things.

“Hi,” the cashier said as he started swiping Clarke’s items.

“Hello,” she replied politely.

Clarke moved her cart through and began placing her bags inside as the cashier continued to swipe and bag her things, Lexa was standing idly by behind Clarke.

The cashier not-so-subtly eyed Clarke from head to toe, “you’re cute.”

Clarke laughed awkwardly, “thanks.”

Clarke busied herself by putting her items away and avoiding eye contact with the man. He didn’t look much older than she was, he was a skinny man with dark hair and dark eyes. Clarke was so busy occupying herself that she missed Lexa stiffen behind her at the man’s words.

“What’s your name?” He said as he continued to bag her items.

“Stacy,” Clarke replied sweetly.

“That’s a beautiful name, Stacy,” he said as he finished bagging the last of her items.

It’s been a long day, and this guy was a creep, so fuck it, may as well have some fun, right?

Clarke finished putting away the last of her bags and paced to the register to pay.

“Say, Stacy… would you want to wanna grab breakfast later?” He said as he took Clarke’s credit card from her.

“As nice as that sounds,” Clarke squinted at his name tag, “Jerry. I actually have plans.”

He frowned at the words.

“Isn’t that right, Portia?” Clarke turned around to Lexa who appeared to be sending daggers at the cashier.

“Hm?” She replied breaking off her stare to look at Clarke.

“We have plans for later today.”

“Oh,” she shook herself out of her daze, “yes, we do have plans, Stacy.”

Jerry looked as if a lightbulb went off in his head, “what about lunch?”

“I’m afraid we have lunch plans also,” Lexa sighed dramatically.

“Dinner?”

“It’s an all-day thing,” Clarke said as she took her card back.

The man looked like a kicked puppy.

“Anyway, would you look at the time,” Clarke looked at her watch, “it’s so late, have a good morning, Jerry.”

And with that, Clarke grabbed her cart and she was off, with Lexa following suit.

The girls exited the supermarket and as soon as they arrived at the parking lot, they entered a fit of laughter.

“Oh my god, Clarke, he looked so disappointed,” Lexa said between breaths.

“Poor guy, I feel bad,” Clarke replied as they pushed their carts through the empty lot.

“Why did you lie about your name?”

Clarke waved her hand in the air, “I couldn’t be bothered telling him my real name, and I wanted some fun.”

“Fair enough, he seemed like a creep anyway.”

Clarke laughed, “yeah he did, another reason as to why I didn’t tell him my real name.

“So,” Lexa began.

“So,” Clarke replied with an amused smile.

“I hope you weren’t also lying about us having plans later, Stacy,” Lexa winked.

“As long as Portia doesn’t have work…”

“She doesn’t,” the brunette smirked.

“Then I believe you owe me hiking or rock-climbing,” Clarke said confidently.

Lexa had a puzzled look on her face.

“Hiking or ro-, oh,” Lexa went red at the memory.

Clarke stopped her cart as an idea struck her, causing Lexa to stop also.

“Let’s do it.”

“Clarke?”

“Let’s go hiking. Right now.”

Lexa’s mouth was agape, “now? Are you crazy?”

“Yes. Okay but hear me out, I have work later, so we wouldn’t have much time together. Let’s go hiking and watch the sunrise, that way we can spend the morning together before I go to work.”

Lexa laughed at how insane Clarke was being right now, “are you sure?”

“I mean, yeah! I know we are running off no sleep but I’m feeling adventurous. Let’s go on an adventure, Lexa.”

Lexa shook her head, she is surprisingly not the most adventurous person, but she is so stupidly weak for Clarke, she needed no convincing.

“Alright.”

Clarke gasped with excitement, “alright?”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lexa is a very gay bean and we love her  
> clarke is a smitten sap and we love her also  
> i know the burn is VERY slow, but trust me, it'll be worth the wait. we are nearly there ;)


End file.
